Has anyone had to deal with this yet?

fran33 · **Has anyone had to deal with this yet?**

My ds is 7. Been retained once in kindergarden last yr. He's now in a remediation class this yr.(I just found out the full details of this today) They class it as 1st grade. So far they have been just reviewing stuff from last yr. Have yet to get into 1st grade stuff. Most of his class mates are hispanics , so they don't know that much English. And with this class they go to 1st grade next yr. I'm still kinda confused by the deal.

My son started pre-k early due to speech problems. Has been tested and the results come back to high to get him into a ESE class. But his results are borderline right now and low in memory skills. So far we've learned that he will have to memorize things to learn (This is what a specialist told me) He struggles so much and we are seeing him getting frustrated this yr over anything concerning school. His teacher told me this will get worse as he gets older. And that he will always have problems thru out school.

They have talked about pushing him into second grade next yr. We all know he will not be able to do it. He's not even able to read at this point. Since they can only test him once a yr. And apparently the school system feels like it matters more when they get in higher grades. They will retest him and hope he can get into a ESE class then. I know it's still a yr a way. But I'm worried about my baby . That's just going to make it harder on him , not being able to keep up. And if they keep him back, it will affect him when the kids start teasing about his age.

My brother went thru this and he dropped out of school at 8th grade. It affected him bad. He was always saying he was not smart and he just couldn't do it. I don't want this for my ds, but i see it happening. Has anyone else been thru this? Does it get better? I'm so depressed about this, and feel so helpless.

stxmom · 09-26-2007, 08:05 PM

Try to get him tested by someone who isn't involved with the school. Your insurance may pay for most of it.

Starlite · 09-26-2007, 09:31 PM

I feel so frustrated for you. It sounds like the school just doesn't know how to help your poor ds.

I agree with stxmom. If you haven't done this already, find someone outside of the school to test your ds. There's got to be more that can be done to help your ds.

desertmom · 09-26-2007, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stxmom

Try to get him tested by someone who isn't involved with the school. Your insurance may pay for most of it.

ABSOLUTELY. Please don't let the school dictate and run your son's life. You need to be a partner with the school, but YOU are the one who is the chosen advocate for your child. Some of the info you gave also makes me question whether you should look for another school for him.

First of all, come join us over in the Special Needs forum. There are many different needs there, from the mainstream Aspie, to the ADD/ADHD, to just a kid who needs a little help focusing, to the autistic, to someone who is struggling just to make it another year. Bottom line, is that forum is for anyone who needs a little help, support and info.

Second, call your insurance company tomorrow and find out who Developmental Pediatricians are in your area. Call IMMEDIATELY for an appointment, as there is usually a waiting list. Try to state the urgency of your need to get squeezed in or on a cancellation list. Is your son on an IEP? Make a list of your thought, observations and conversations with the school. A good Dr. will also give you questionnaires to fill out - it's not a one appointment/one time shot. This Dr. will also give you an idea of what tests to ask the school to do. The school does it at no cost, whereas the Dr. office charges, so they will usually guide you. Don't let the school lead you - you will end up not where you need to be. Get to the school psychologist. Here's my take: The school wants to teach your child - is only responsible for the educational side of it. However, they have goals and budgets to meet, so will do the minimum to get by. Thus the partnership. They will not usually volunteer services, but once you know what is there, can help you get them. You can simply ask, too, "Is there something the school can do in this area?" That's how we got some services. Make friends with the resource teacher - they can be important advocates. But remember, they will circle their wagons, and you will feel alone. That's why you need to be armed and educated, and ready to work. Please bounce things off of us. You will find different experiences and differing degrees of experience.

You need a medical diagnosis for your son, which your school can't give, nor will they tell you that you need it. It would be great if there is nothing medically wrong, but let's rule it out first! Feel free to pm me. I'm no expert. I moderate the SN board, but my work is mostly on my son. He's in 2nd grade at a good school. Heaven forbid if he weren't mild and was at a bad school! But I'm still learning. There's a lot! Put on that helmet, those batting gloves. the armor around your heart and get ready for a ride! It can be the second most rewarding thing you've done, after giving birth.

fran33 · 09-27-2007, 07:29 PM

Thanks for the replies. I'm going to call try and find a pediatrician like you suggested desertmom. I didn't know they had debelopmental ones. Shows what I know. My ds gets speech and languare impaired programs at school now. I'm assuming that's what the IEP is. He was tested at 4 and we got him into the school system early because of him being behind for his age then. It was a special pre-k program.

He's been going to this school for several yrs now. Like you said , it might not be the best one for him. I have a friend that has gotten me meetings and such that would have otherwise took a long time. She's even pushed his testing sooner than expected. But even she is at a loss. He gets tutoring each yr for 3 days a wk as well.

I quess as a parent you don't want to believe your child has a medical disablity. I've never even considered that. I will be checking the special needs forum out too. Thanks again

desertmom · 09-27-2007, 07:38 PM

Getting a real diagnosis was actually a relief for me, as it told me my instincts were right, that others went through it, and best, there was help for all of us.

A developmental ped. is quite different from a regular, medical ped. I didn't know they existed, either. The medical and developmental go together, but the majority of the medical peds are not trained in the developmental area, other than the rudimentary (mine kept saying my son was fine, just highly intelligent. I knew he was intelligent, but that something else was going on). By the way, this doesn't mean that drugs are going to be pushed as a cure. Dr.s agreed that my son wouldn't benefit by drugs - instead, we identified the areas of weakness and therapies and accommodations were suggested from there. We do give him suggested vitamins, though.

The IEP is actually and Individualized Educational Plan. You, the teachers, the resource teachers, therapists, possibly school psychologist and principal sit down and go over the child's needs and discuss accommodations, therapies and other things. This will be a great start in this area:
IEP - Need help?

Hope this helps! Come visit!

autismmom · 09-27-2007, 09:08 PM

Good Luck. Here is a rule of thumb my ped told me about Developmental Peds- If you can get in right away- normally not a good one. If you get one with a waiting list- stay on it and most of the time you will get the best.