I have been seperated from my husband since January. He sees my ds (6yrs) once a week. Doesnt do much with dd (3yrs) since she has autism, can be a handful and he can't handle it. (IMO) Anyway, I'm trying to get a feel for the holidays without him living here. I have no desire to make like everything is the same. My kids are pretty easy going and will be okay with whatever I do as long as Santa comes. Also, every year my dad pays for my sisters and their families to come for Christmas. It's a lot of fun. This year my inlaws are coming too. We have a good relationship and they adore their grandkids and get along with my family. Everyone gets along great. But since the troubles with my husband my family doesn't care to do anything with him. I know they will be civil if I ask them to be but I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable. Especially me.

I guess my question is....how do you all do the holidays?

I was thinking of just having my husband over to open presents Christmas morning. I don't want to deprive him or the kids of that. But that is all I want to do with him. If my inlaws want to see him more they can go out with him or go over to his house. (They are ashamed of him and angry with the choices he's made but are still trying to be there for him).

Any suggestions you have will be greatly appreciated. I'm trying not to stress out over it. Thanks.

My family always celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve, so I get my kids every Christmas Eve. Every other year, my ex picks them up at 10 pm and the other years he picks them up on Christmas morning. That way, it gives me some Christmas mornings to watch them open up their presents.

My parents seperated when I was 3, divorced when I was 7. I used to go to my dads on xmas eve then he'd bring me back x-mas morning. This worked great when I was a kid since in my family I didn't get up early to open presents. We just did it once everyone was awake and had finished waking up. I had to get dressed, eat, and do my stuff first. This never detracted from the experience for me. My dad would always leave me one gift to open at my moms. One year my dad even came to the xmas party. That was a good year too.

This is your first year apart. I think you should do what you're comfortable with.