When I was young my parents went through very, very messy court battles. Please make sure that you and your dh are talking with dsd and letting her voice her feelings. My parents were so into their battle that they never asked me how I felt. My mom did the tape recordings of phone calls and sometimes drop offs. Those never made it to court because as soon as my father's lawyer heard them, he dismissed himself and my father ended the battle after about three years.

Also I'm not sure what its called in every state but they had a program called Kid Share with supervised visits. If she really is nuts, you may want to consider that as the person from Kid Share could speak in court on your behalf. It would be an outside party that the courts already trusted.