Has anyone had experience with that.. Parent/grandparent..

We moved my widowed grandfather out of the farm he has lived at for 62 years and into a senior center. He was ready to go, knew he needed to do something. But now that he's been there 3-4 days he's ready to go 'home'.. It just breaks my heart..

Add to that my mil and I don't have a good relationship. And we were the ones doing the work. My princess sister in laws are at home 2+ hours away. Let me just tell you they make the drive when it benifits them

So now you have a lifetime collection of things and who gets what. Oh the joys... My dh is the only grandson. He wants certain things, so I have been standing up for those. Grandpa also wants me to have some of his antiques. And YES I will take what I have been offered.

So let's just say last week was busy, stressful and sad to see a family turn into vultures! And the man is still alive!

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Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!

when my inlaws were getting to the age they couldn't care for themselves anymore, we never thought about an assisted living facility. we moved them in with us. they were hesistant, they had lived in the same house their entire married life. everytime we went down there, we had to pay their bills, clean out the refrigerator (they both went thru the depression, so they never threw food away, even if it had mold) and they were at the point, they were sharing 1 meals on wheels dinner a day between the 2 of them. he had alzheimers and she had dementia. we decided it was time. my sis in law (who lived far away) really had nothing to do with it. she was all about sticking them in a home and we (dh and I) didn't feel comfortable with the idea of a nursing home. they have since passed away, but i would do it all over again in a heartbeat. what great memories we had. the kids got to get to know their gparents a little better, even if they weren't always in their right mind, the house was full of love and laughter. there did come a time that dh and i couldn't do it all and their doctors recommended hospice towards the end. we had nurses come in 3-4 times a week to make sure everything was going ok. it was a great experience. yes, it was very hard for them to leave the home and community that they loved. but in the end, they always hold us that they were glad they moved in with us. keep your chin up, and don't worry about your sister in laws.... they may one day regret not taking the time to help their father when he needed them most. :Hug:

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“Don't get too comfortable with who you are at any given time - you may miss the opportunity to become who you want to be.”

I'm so sorry this is happening to your family. I haven't been in the position of having to move an elderly relative into a nursing home, but I have been involved with dh's family in battles over stuff. Unfortunately, times like these can bring out the worst in people.

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"Ala-Freakin'-Bama, Roll Tide Roll!" ~ Trace Adkins

It's my husbands grandfather he's 90. It's a great senior center. He has his own apt, with full kitchen, bath, 1 bedroom and a huge living room. He can make/eat his meals in his apt or go to the cafeteria 3x a week for lunch. He is blind but can take care of himself. He makes coffee, big meals and cleans his apt by himself. the neighbors are wonderful. The first day we came back from getting another load and he had a 98 yr old woman sitting there chatting with him.. He's still attracting them at 90

We have been down the hospice/cancer road already with grnadma. She passed almost 2 yrs ago and poor grandpa has been so lonely. So the socialization of the the senior center is great. They have a schedule of activities, take then places as a group and out to lunch at applebee's even.

He rufused to come here. Our home isn't big enough to begin with and he still wanted his own place with out the work of an old farm house. My 6 yr old told him, you never have to mow the lawn again.. Heck I asked if they had an apartment for me.. Sign me up!

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Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!

I've never had experience with senior centers. In our family we believe it's best to live your last years with family. Heard too many bad experiences from friends.

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"Before I was a Mom I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body." ~Anonymous

It's so hard...we had put my grandma in an assisted living center when she just couldn't rehab enough to go home after breaking her hip. It was a nice place for the most part, and my mother went to see her every day. I think that's a big part in making sure your family member has good care JMO.

My grandmother just didn't understand why she was there and every day she'd ask to go home or 'when are we leaving'. It was really hard.

My FIL and MIL live with us, last summer my FIL came down with Gullian Barre syndrom, he is now in a wheelchair, cant walk and has a catheter. But we ahve a nurse in everyday for a couple of hours to bathe him. otherwise all the fmaily pitches in, we have day shifts and night shift with him. We are glad we have him here, my kids love him to death and when hewas in the hospital my little one would get into bed with him!!
He is getting older and very grumpy due to his illness, but I couldnt put him in a seniour home. everytime he goes to the hospital he freaks and his mind goes wierd and he doesnt even know what country he is in.
Good Luck with you Grandpa, and you will be blessed for helping him. I am blessed by God for helping my FIL.

I went through this with my grandfather. My father lived with him, until my father passed away in 2003 at 51yrs old in his sleep. (My grandmother died about 16yrs ago) From then on, I visited my grandfather 2-3 times per week to keep him company. I would take him places too. Mind you my grandfather had 4kids and a ton of grandkids left. But only a couple of his daughters came by and a few grandkids. I stayed with him a lot as a child (only child of divorced parents), so I was close to him. He started to give things away, since he felt it was necessary, like his time was close or something. Some family never knew this because they never visited! As time went on, his health went down hill. Two of his daughters worked directly with taking care of him at home, others would come by, etc. just so he could stay at home full time. Until he got really sick and had to be checked in the care center for therapy. He was not happy at all, but thought it was temporary. It ended up being permanent. He ended up with demensia, and got kicked out for anger issues. He never had a angry bone in his body, it was his illness that did it, but even though he couldn't come back. He went somewhere else to help this, then to another place where he ended up till his death. During this time, there were many family members that never visited, unless they were told that he was going to die! Then they were mad that we made them come for nothing when he didn't die! So needless to say, when he did pass away, they were all fighting for his things and wondering where everything was. He gave his most prescious things away when he was alive to the people that were actually there for him, so they were very angry. They said we stole everything out of this house and didn't separate everything legally! Which is sooo sad, because they have to know they never cared in the first place, why care now!
Sorry for ranting in your post. This still stirs me up when I think about it! I loved him so much, and it angers me to see people act like this! All I cared about was him and only him.---
So for your situation, don't care about the other's, just be there for him and only him! All you can do is show your love and support for him! Because in the end, when he is gone, you will feel extreme peace for him and know he is in a better place. You will know that you gave him what he needed, love!
He won't care a bit about any of his earthly items.
It will be a hard time with the relatives, just keep your focus on your grandfather, let others do the other work, and you give him your attention. That's what most people forget about. They are too focused on his stuff!
Good luck and God Bless your family through these difficult times ahead of you!

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Daycare mom