My soon to be 7 year old has become a whole different person with her mouth at times. She talks back and argues EVERYTHING...sometimes I think just to hear herself. But it is getting ridiculous. Have any of you encountered this? And how do you handle it, cause I gotta tell you, lately I'm feeling a whole lot different towards corporal punishment!!!

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I feel your pain...really I do just about everyday of my life with my dd who is 12 1/2 now. They say it is a sign that they are trying to claim their independents and it is is supposed to be a way that they learn how to build up their self-esteam....to get them ready for the real world issues...but I got to tell you it is so hard to believe in that when they open up that mouth and say the things that come out of it! I feel like shoving my fist down her throat sometimes. I yelled at her the other day for he room being a mess....she told me well it is my room and I can do what ever I want!!!! I'm like oh oh noooo....let me tell you a thing or two little girl!!!!! I do feel like it is a constant battle with her....I try to tell myself that it will get better but geeez. I'm the mean one in the house so I always feel like I am yelling at her or struggling to find out answers from her.

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Heather
Mom to three dd 14, ds 8, dd 5

My kids are 11 1/2 and 8 1/2...if they talk to me or their father (or heck, even each other) disrespectfully, I remind them that we don't talk to each other that way and I don't want to hear it. Sometimes they need to go to their rooms for a while and chill out before they come out and apologize. I won't stand for them speaking disrespectfully.

I remind her, She gets time-outs, which seem to work. I always get an apology after wards.

I've tried explaing to her she needs to think about things before she speaks. If she thinks it's going to hurt someone's feelings (mine) or she'll get in trouble, then don't say it. I feel like i'm fighting a losing battle...It's not as bad as it was, there was a week with timeouts several times daily, and that was the worst of it. Now it's better, it's no-where near as often, but she just seems to know when it will really push my button to talk back!

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Have you been in the Spotlight yet?

CheeseCake Lady had recommended the "1-2-3 Magic" book a while ago. It deals specifically with stuff like this. I read it and now use it- it works really well!

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I don't believe in miracles; I depend on them

Thanks for the credit, but I don't think I recommended that one. There are two others though:
1) Kid Cooperation, How to stop Yelling, Nagging & Pleading and get Kids to Cooperate by Elizabeth Pantley

2) I'll have to get back to you on the title - it was a long one & I don't have it infront of me.

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At this age, it's completely normal. They are starting to spread their wings, and while wanting to stick close to mom, are realizing that mom's not (gasp!) always right and that sometimes mom/dad has an opinion that is just that - an opinion, not a fact. Also, they like to test their limits. One thing I've found w/my little guy is that he doesn't realize that he is talking back. He is copying what he sees and hears around him. He understands when we tell him exactly what is not acceptable and help him reword what he says. I know not all kids need concrete terms like that, but it helps in our case. It's also a little confusing for him because one minute mommy and daddy treat him like a big boy, and comment on such, like letting him use a knife on his own or doing another big boy thing, then another minute, not allow him to contradict us. He's especially sensitive, because he is just testing, so we have to be careful not to come down too hard. It is frustrating. He argues, which I hate, but doesn't realize he's doing it because we've always encouraged him to have his own thoughts and opinions. However, we have the final say. He's always negotiated with us, which was something we've encourage, and now it's biting us. I still wouldn't do differently, though. We want him to think on his own and make his own choices. But we do have to be consistent about sending the message that we are in charge (it helps them feel safer, too). If he breaks a rule about it, after we have made sure he broke it willingly, not just by a misunderstanding, we take something away, like a trip to Target or an afternoon with no Bionicles (heartbreaking to him). Depending on the age, the punishment has to be short term. We can't say no McDonalds this weekend - it's too far off to have any currency, and then he will work really hard to redeem himself. Even if we stand strong, we still feel guilty, and he will lose incentive to behave. Short term works for us. We also send him to his room to think about his behavior. He can choose when to come out (the self control issue again), but only when he is ready to speak nicely, not sass (define what that is) and not argue. We're going through a thing right now because dh is in the doghouse because of his poor behavior and his language and temper. DS thinks that gives him a right to be a little sassy to him. Even though I don't want to right now , I still have to remind ds that he's still his dad and must be treated with respect at all times, no matter what.

My dd is almost 5, and we're already dealing with talking back and arguing about things! UGH...I don't look forward to the next several years. I'll definitely have to check out those books though, and thanks to my SS I have a B&N gift card! :D

I made the mistake of not enforcing the talking back all the time with my now DS15...although he has gotten MUCH better and easier to get along with...However, now my other 3 think they can get away with it now. I've informed them that I made mistakes once with their brother and I will never make those mistakes again.

We do time-outs, mainly in a hallway so that there is nothing around to distract them...or they get punished to their rooms...then they owe whoever they hurt an apology. Recently, my DS11 made fun of somebody who is younger than him at the bus-stop, right in front of me no less...when I confronted him about it in front of everyone there...he got snippy with me...so I grounded him for the rest of the week (no games, computer, tv, and no going outside to play with friends...I take making fun of someone very seriously, not to mention he was snippy in the process with me)...anyway, he took his punishment very well (in fact another week was added on because of his back-talking with me) and the very next day, he apologized in front of everyone at the bus-stop to this kid he was making fun of all on his own.

Sometimes it takes going to the extreme to get your point across...this was a few weeks ago - and he has been great ever since!