Hoping someone has some advice I can use as I feel I have tried everything! My two oldest are 8 (boy) and almost 6 (girl). They are at each other constantly! I just don't know what to do! Now that school is out it's just been awful! I help them find things to do...we play games, made cookies today, play outside, do crafts and so on and they always find something to fight about! The tattling is making my ears ring! I do time-outs, show them how to play together ect. but nothing works! I have a degree in Early Childhood and a Parenting Ed. license and every book I have ever read has suggestions that I have tried tirelessly but nothing!!! My oldest knows just what to say to get my daughter going and she is so easily hurt and just moritified by anything he does that she doesn't like. Anyone have any suggestions?? I just don't want to spend every minute of the summer separating them!
We go to the library often and I have them signed up for swimming, tennis and so on so they get out to do things separately but of course that can't happen every day! UGH!!!

I am sorry Sarah!!! You already do everything that I was going to suggest!!!

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Let them fight. Simply refuse to get into the middle of it. The only rules in our house are no bad words and no physical fighting (my older kids were terrible with scratching each other which resulted in them getting their fingernails cut very short.) They'll stop tattling when you stop responding to it.

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My 2.5 & 5 yr old have been driving me batty. I wish I had a suggestion. Like you, I fill up most of their day with activity but you can't do it 24/7.

let them fight( not hurt each other physically of course and no bad words), and pray for school to start up again really soon...mine are fighting like cats and dogs now and they still have a week and a half of school left to go!!!!
ignore tattling...it stops when you do not respond to it.

I think my new tactic will be to ignore the tattling as you all mentioned. I am so sick of trying to separate them and figure out who was "right" and who was "wrong". It gets so old, so fast! I do have them involved in activities, but agree that time and budget do not allow for 24/7 camp. They have to learn to live with each other... I dread summer for this very reason!

When this happens at our house, the kids get assigned EXTRA chores!

Some chores are not so bad:
~wash the table
~put everything away in your room
~pick up the toy room (everything must be put away WHERE IT GOES)
~put the clothes away


but I can think of some really horrible ones if need be:
~scrub the toilets, inside and out.....keep in mind that we have 8 boys at our house that use the toilets......LOL)
~Wash the garbage cans
~wash windows, and doors
~wash the cupboard doors


We also make them go to bed early if they can't get along.....bed time gets earlier and earlier each night until they get along.

I have done this in the past. I think I should do this again in the summer.

Sorry you are going through this. I think all children go through this especially in the summer.

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My kids are now 10,7, and 5 and this is how we handle it.

When they fight and a simple "stop it" doesn't get them to do so. They get a time out in their rooms on their beds. They can read or lay there but that is IT!! I do this for 20 minutes and then I ask them if they can treat each other the way they want to be treated? If they answer is yes they get to get up and then they need to find something to do together. It has to be playing together, drawing, or something like that. I find my kids fight because they are board.

I also will make them do extra chores and if it is really bad they have to do the chores together!! That one really gets them. I also have and do send them to bed earlier I don't cut much slack on the bed time, it starts 15 minutes earlier and will get earlier by 15 minutes they can't get along. It seems mean I know but, they really get along much better now that they know I mean business.

Good luck!!

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Thank you all for the suggestions! I do often make them clean up their rooms and such when I put them in there for fighting but hadn't thought of assigning other chores. I understand the ignoring the tattling and think there is definitely a time for that but when my oldest is picking in such an underhanded way and my almost 6yr old is getting so upset it doesn't seem right to ignore that. He isn't calling her names or using bad words...he is just saying things that he knows will upset her. Telling her something she likes is stupid and so on. It's just hard...no matter what they are playing they fight!!
They can be outside with a bunch of toys in the playhouse doing fine and then bam!! Suddenly something goes wrong and then it's all over. Now my 2 yr old is getting into it all.
I do dread summer just for this reason too and I don't want to!!!!!!! I want to do all of the things we have planned and just play, plain and simple without constant bickering! My head is pounding tonight!
I really appreciate the advice and will do the chores thing tomorrow. My son is going to work with his dad tomorrow so things may be a bit easier...but most likely the two girls will just fight then!! I will hope for the best and say we will have a relaxing day tomorrow!!