Well, I was not sure where to post this, but since the description said, "all things family" I thought it would be appropriate. When my husband and I got married 6 years ago, he used to gamble all the time, even before we got married. It got so bad that he was taking out pay day loans to cover our bills and expenses. He would not let me mess with our finances....I remember him saying, "Don't worry your pretty little head....".....so I didn't. But, shortly after the birth of our first child, he came to me in tears because we did not have enough money to fill up the gas tank in our car. I had a savings account that my parents started for me when I was born. I drained it....$4000....to get US out of this mess. I paid off two of his friends and two pay day loan places. We still had to take out a loan from our credit union for $4000 more to pay off the rest of the debt and to get our family back on track. After a year or more of us going back and fourth between gambling and not gambling, he finally agreed with me that he had a problem. So, he contacted the gaming commission and had his name put on a list so that he cannot enter a casino in our state without being arrested. Thank god. So, we are doing really well now, bought a house (with a down payment!), have a retirement savings account, and four months of expenses in a savings account. And we are only 27!
SO, here is my problem. His family is addicted to gambling. I mean it. His uncle drained his 401K (10 years from retirement) to gamble and lost it all. They filed for bankruptcy. They did not loose their house or car, so, to celebrate, they went to the casino!!!! My MIL and FIL are awful, though. They make about $100,000 a year. They have $2000 in expenses (including mortgage). They do not save a dime and at the end of a pay period, have no money. They put the minimum amount in their IRA and only started that about 10 years ago. They spend AT LEAST $300 per week at the casino. Of course, they only tell people when they win, and that is not very often. But, when they win, it is usually 3 or 4 thousand dollars. With $300 extra a week, they could do a ton of stuff!!!! They are going down the tubes, financially, as they took out a second mortgage on their home (which they have owned for 27 years) just to have extra cash. I can always tell when they win, too.....we get a GIANT care package in the mail.
My husband said that it is not our place to say anything because they know about the problems that we had and that he would tell his parents how to spend their money. But don't you think that makes it more of our place. WE KNOW what they are going through. On a more selfish note, my FIL works at an oil refinery doing manual labor, which he will not be able to do until he retires. It is too taxing on his body. SO, I really do not want to be supporting them when they can't work because they made poor decisions about how to invest their money when they did work.
I know I am not being completely selfish...this is a serious problem. Should I butt out or what?
I have a family that loves to gamble
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