I was raised with the more formal idea of weddings where there might be a toast with champagne afterwards but overall very little alcohol. As an adult I have been to weddings were it can turn into a complete drunken fest afterwards - in fact saw one this past weekend. I was a little surprised the first time I saw it but have grown more accustomed to it.

I rarely drink at weddings being dressed up and drunk at the same time never had any appeal to me - even when I did drink. Not to mention, I usually am the driver out of me and my husband.

So what do you think?

Nearly every wedding I have been to (and that's a lot - one time I had 11 in one year!) have had an open bar. I've never seen unruly, drunken behavior, but I generally leave by midnight. But I've never heard after-the-fact of any issues.

My own wedding to DH was a 2nd wedding for both of us, so we just had a small outdoor wedding with finger foods & punch. We didn't even have a champagne toast as we would have had to pay an extra $300 for a liquor license, and with only 35 people attending, half of them underage or pregnant, I didn't see the point. Our budget was only $1500. No one missed the champagne. We did the harpist thing too.

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I've been to ones where not a drop of alcohol was served, some where there's "light" drinking offered, and some of the ones you mentioned where they turn into a drunk fest with everyone "dirty dancing". My nephew got married last fall, and had an open bar, and by the end of the night I was embarrassed for my kids to be there If I had to vote, I'd pick the one in the middle. I don't mind a glass of wine, etc at a wedding, but have no real desire to watch a bunch of people get sloppy drunk.

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Same thing here and when I got married to my DH we didn't have an open bar if you wanted to drink you bought it yourself and nobody complained and we had a great time. We didn't have a champagne toast either instead it was a punch toast.

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I don't see anything wrong with serving alcohol at weddings. I have been to several and have never seen anyone acting out because they were drunk. I like to have a couple drinks but I know my limit. I do not like the feeling of being out of control.

I'm not a big drinker by any means - 1-2 glasses of wine and I'm pretty set for the night. Pretty much the same through my family. However, around here, a cash bar sends the signal that it's a cheap wedding. I'd rather go the no alcohol route, like I did for my 2nd wedding, so people will assume that we don't drink, that someone in the family is in AA, or that it's for religious reasons or something like that rather than assume we're too cheap to pay for the open bar. This is just from commentary I've heard over the years and the many, many weddings I've gone to.

Of course, when my dad found out we were not having a champagne toast at our wedding as we didn't want to pay for a liquor license for about 20 people to have a toast, he just went on and on about how classless I was, that I don't know how to be a good hostess, etc. When he got to the wedding, saw the gardens, saw the rented tables and centerpieces, saw the food we had - steamed asparagus wrapped in prosciutto; steamed snow peas slit open & piped with salmon mousse - you can bet he changed his tune. Everyone was fine with the sparkling cider.

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I think it totally depends on the group of people involved. My dh grew up in a party culture (think "Fast Times at Ridgemont High", that's his kind of highschool) He has a lot of friends that still party, they are all in their mid 30's now. At those weddings, people drink and get out of control, there are fights and couples yelling at each other, slurring speech and someone always wanders off and we can't find them. Dh and I and my BIL and his wife are usually the put together ones who try to keep everyone calm.(both dh and BIL do not drink anymore) The after parties get especially bad. I do not enjoy those weddings, we have one to go to in August and I'm going to use the excuse that I need to get home to ds so I don't have to stay long at the reception. My group of friends tends to keep it together at weddings and I have much more fun with people drinking responsibly or not drinking at all.

Don't get me wrong, in my younger years I had my moments at weddings, but nothing nasty or inappropriate, things like dancing funny or slipping and falling on my bottom on the dance floor Now that I'm grown up, I'm a 1-2 drink person and would rather watch the other folks be silly. I find that open bar weddings are more rowdy, but people can get pretty sloshed on just beer and wine too. We served wine and had one keg of beer at our wedding and offered sparkling waters and cider, it was a nice balance.

My first wedding was sparkling cider and no alcohol at a very upscale B&B. I did not start drinking until I was 26 (married the first time at 22).

My second wedding was kegs of beer under the pavillion. Our friends brought coolers and did beer bongs... Because we were at the club, most of them drove home on a golf cart. I was a few weeks pregnant so I didn't drink anything. Welcome to the Redneck Yacht Club.

DH & I didn't plan on any alcohol other than our champagne for our toast as the reception was at his parent's house (yard, actually) and our budget didn't allow for it. But his brother decided he would buy us as a "gift" a keg for the reception. I wasn't happy about it and insisted it be out of sight and not "promoted". To top off the day, my alcoholic BIL tried to talk DH into going to a friend's house to spend the evening drinking the keg and shooting pool. How stupid! At least DH refused that offer - and good for him that he did!

And I meant to add that I have no problem with alcohol at a wedding. I've been to those that had it and those that didn't. Had fun at all. Our budget just didn't allow for alcohol at ours.