I posted on here awhile back that my husband's cousin attempted suicide. Since then he has been in and out of the hospital three times that we are aware of. Last night he posted some very disturbing pictures of himself on MySpace and a self inflicted (I believe) wound on his head. It is not a life threatening wound but a wound just the same and I suspect it will scar.

I do not know what the heck we can do with this man. I am not unsympathetic to his problems but we are two hours away from him and right now we do not have the time or money or energy for my husband to run down there every time the cousin gets depressed - which currently is all the time. Moving him up here in our household is NOT an option though one of his doctor's suggested it. He has problems but his problems are not going to become my kids problems. My husband has contacted his aunt, the cousin's mother, and she doesn't care. He had a girlfriend but, for oblivious reasons, she dumped him.

I don't know. I think he needs to be committed but you would think the hospital could have figured this out by now. I don't know - this is just heavy on my mind this morning.

That is very sad. I wish I had some good advice for you.

I felt this way when my brother was having lots of trouble. My girls were very small and I had limited resources to help him. He was addicted to cocaine. We wanted him to go to rehab because we could not move him in with our children. He did not go to rehab, somehow he overcame the addiction with the help of his girlfriend. He now has a good job and a decent life.

It's sad that his mom doesn't care. Does your dh's cousin have any other close relatives (father, siblings) that can help him?

I think it's wonderful that your dh is trying to help him, but there's only so much you can do. You have to think of your own family above and beyond the well-being of your extended family.

I hope the poor guy gets the help he needs.

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The cousin really has no one else. He is 44 years old and he really has nothing. He's worked dead end jobs. He's lived in the same rat hole of an apartment for 20 + years. He got this girlfriend, the first one in years, and he blew it. They got an house together and two days later, while she was taking a shower, he attempted his first suicide attempt and then called 911. She got out of the shower to two cops roaming about in her house! She hadn't a clue!

I feel bad for him, I really do, outside of being a odd guy he is kind of nice. But, and DH and I have discussed this, it comes down to him making some decisions. DH's family has a tendency to throw up their hands and let someone else take care of it. We dealt with similar issues with his youngest sister last year. I finally had to tell her, "You have to take care of it (these problems) yourself." And she did! She kind of has her life together. She's happy and she managed it by making some smart choices.

But the cousin -- he (hard as it seems to believe) has more problems than she did / does. I don't know -- I feel bad but I also know that my husband cannot change this for him.

I don't know ... I'm just venting. There isn't much to do until he wants to start making some smart choices. It is hard though on my husband. He's trying to do what is right and he talks to the cousin a lot -- but ........

I would try to have him commited. You will have to call a hospital to get details on how to go about that because I think they usually only let immediate family get them commited. I would explain how the immediate family will have nothing to do with him. He needs to be institutionalized where he can be watched 24 hours a day. Don't feel bad for not wanting to do it.

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To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. -Elbert Hubbard

Having someone placed in a state mental hopital (institutionalized) takes a lot of work and usually the person has to have a fairly long history of mental illness. This is much bigger than going to a "mental hospital".

I didn't say it would be a cake walk. So do you think someone who is trying to constantly kill themself not belong in the mental hospital? The other options are to move him in or cut him out. Which she has the right to choose either. It was a suggestion.

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To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. -Elbert Hubbard

My take is, if this guy is posting pictures of self-inflicted wounds on the internet, then he is attention seeking. It is very possible he likes the attention that being a 'victm' gets him, which is probably why his close family has thrown up their hands. He doesn't want to get well. He likes being sick better.

All you can do, especially since you're two hours away, is call his local police department and ask them to 'swing by' and do a 'welfare check' on the guy. If you truly believe he might harm himself again and the police officer sees evidence of that, the police can force him into a 72 hour hold at a psychiatric ward. What that will do is anyone's guess.

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"I've been rich and I've been poor but independently wealthy is where it is at."

Sorry this is the field that I work(ed) in. MANY people try suicide many times and are still not sent to the state mental hospital. There are also group homes etc that may work better for him and make sure that he takes his meds which is probably the bigger issue.

Committing an adult, especially one that has ran on the outskirts for so many years and never got into trouble, is very difficult. Working in the industry that we do, with youths, both my husband and myself thought it would be very easy just to have him sent away. Kids do not have the rights that an adult has. You have problems, you are a danger to yourself, at the very least, send them away for awhile. But it isn't that easy.

Right now he's dealing with the paperwork. He went to his caseworker. This person said, "Great, we'll get you going." He waited a few days, called the caseworker back, and they're waiting to get his paperwork from the hospital. He calls the hospital and the hospital responds with, "We'll get it sent over in a couple of weeks."

And I agree with Cookie, he is looking for attention. Cutting yourself is one thing or whatever he did. Cutting yourself, posting pictures of it on MySpace and then posting two bulletins so people will look is something else. I suspect from the now ex-girlfriend. If she just sees how much he really loves her, she'll come back. I don't know. I just don't understand why people act this way. Shoot, I've had some down times in my life but I never thought about not waking up the next morning. I may have thought about not getting out of bed - but I always knew I would wake up. Or at least want to.

Jared&Maggie'sMom, the group home is a thought. I hadn't thought about that. I don't know what they have down that way - but there has to be something. It would give him the same support as the hospital but it would still allow him to get a job and live a life. Thanks, great idea.