But DH wants me to go back part time...

Basically, im due with my second in the beginning of September...DH has his own business so if I stay home, we'd have to put out money for a medical plan for a family of 4. DH wants me to go back part time to get us through the winter so I would collect my 5 week partial pay while im on maternity leave and go back in 2-3 months part time which, after paying for childcare even part time, im still only reaping the medical benefits. DH runs his own painting business and the way the economy is he wants to play it as safe as possible, but, he does want me to eventually stay home full time in order to help him with the organization part of his business.

I just don't want to go back at all...i know I can do things to bring in some income if I quit my job. I can watch kids part time, or wait tables 2 nights a week...but how do i convince my husband I really really really want to be done working. I hate my job and I would just like to end it...actually...we had 2 layoffs recently and I would love to be able to talk my boss into getting laid off so I can collect unemployment...

And why the heck am I worrying about this sooo much...its just over 4months away! I know i have plenty of time...am I trying to plan this too far in advance?

I need some words of encouragement...

I wanted to stay home so badly, too. When I felt I couldn't take it anymore, I figured out how much we were paying in fuel for me to get to work, daycare costs and any other expenses related to me working. I found I was losing $1 and hour while working. For insurance I contacted the local health and human services and we qualify for the reduced insurance (kids connection it is called here) for the boys. My dh has insurance through his work, so I know that wouldn't work for you guys.


I hope things work out for you. Try not to stress so much right now! (I know, that's tough)

Have you ever looked into the cost of an independent medical policy for your family? Once you sit down and do the math, it might come out cheaper for you to pay for your own medical insurance as opposed to you working, paying for daycare, gas, and all the other expenses associated with working outside of the home.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

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My DD was born at the beginning of Sept so I'm preparing for her birthday now. It is ONLY a little over a month away. It's the middle of July now, then there is the month of August and wham-o, September!

I do agree with your husband about playing it safe, however, what are you guys going to do next winter for health coverage? You're going to have to start paying for a family of 4 eventually.

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"I've been rich and I've been poor but independently wealthy is where it is at."

Have ya'll sat down and run all the numbers? Does he realize that you won't be earning anything after all the expenses?

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A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water.-Eleanor Roosevelt

I agree with the other posts. When you sit down and really look at the numbers you might be surprised. We are in the same situation. My husband is self employed. I just quit my job this past May, so I have been home only a couple of months. We contacted an independant insurance agent. They went to a couple of different medical insurance companies and came up with an affordable plan for us.

I know a lot of people say to try and live off of dh's salary alone to see if you can do it financially, but in our case that didn't make sense. We were paying more for two in daycare than I was bringing home after taxes, insurance, 401(k), etc, etc. For us it was simple math.

In the couple of months that I have been home now, the stress level is so much better. We don't have that morning rush of trying to get out the door with two kids. Dh is able to just get up and go. He can schedule meetings for any time of day and doesn't have to check to see if I am available to pick up the kids or not.

I feel like I am in so much more control of our lives. I have time to go grocery shopping and actually plan meals. I have time to clip coupons and I remember to actually use them.

It is doable. My only suggestion to you would be to tough it out until the baby arrives, take advantage of the maternity/disability pay. Use the maternity time to show him how much better life is with you home by making home made meals, keeping the house in order, keeping up with laundry, etc. Maybe even try and help him with some paperwork towards the end of your leave. I know it will be hard with a new baby, but a good chance to show him what it would be like.

I think you typically only have to return to work for a couple of weeks to be able to get the maternity leave pay. If you quit before your leave or if you just don't return to work, you may be required to pay it back.

Good luck in your decision. Really do sit down and review the finances.