Hi & Thanks for reading. Yesterday my Mother-In-Law was diagonsed with breast cancer She has to have a masectomy, radiation and kemo. So my problem is breaking this to my oldest son ( 13 ). He is incredibly attatched to his Grandma. And very, very sensitive. I just know this is going to crush him.
Any ideas on how to break this to him. I just don't know what to do or say to make this any easier on him . We are all reeling from this, she has had a very difficult year medically speaking. My heart is just breaking thinking about it. I also have a four year old boy, but I think he is still young enough not to really understand. Anyone every been in a similar situation??? If you pray could you send some her way.
Thanks, Barb

Take it one step at a time. Quite simply, Grandma is sick and will be going to the doctor a lot. What more do you have to say, yet?

Of course, YOU are afraid that grandma is going to die and you are aware of the long course of painful treatments, but don't burden the child with those concepts right now.

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Just say she's sick, she'll be getting treatment and we hope she'll soon be all well.

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I'll pray for your MIL. I hope they caught it early.

One of my sons is fairly sensitive. We find it's usually best to give him as much info as possible because what he can imagine is usually far worse. I'd have dh and MIL there when you tell him. And I'd give him a lot of detail about the treatments she'll be getting, how she'll will feel, etc. This would be the time to discuss your religious beliefs about death, if you have any.

Maybe there are some things he can help his grandmother with around the house while she's not feeling well. Then he can feel he's doing all he can to help her.

I agree that you need to tell him as much as he needs to know or may be exposed to.

People may ask you about your MIL in front of him, or they may ask him about his grandma when you aren't around. And, some people won't use tact - my kids were asked some very direct and difficult questions about my brain cancer, and they are younger than your son. That being said, you probably don't want to spring it all on him and overwhelm him in one sitting. You may want to tell him as things are decided by your MIL and her medical team. For instance, don't go into depth about the radiation/chemo until it's about to start and you know the details of the treatment. Only tell him what the doctors have said, the rest is speculation. She may, and I pray she does, tolerate the treatments quite well. And, be sure to reassure him that he can come to you with questions and concerns and you will answer him honestly and not hide things from him.

Keeping your family in my prayers . ..

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Homeschooling Mom to Daniel (13 Years), Andrew (10 Years), Stephen (8 Years) and Emily (4 Years)

as a teenager my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when i was 13. my parents were honest and told me the truth. i think honesty is the best policy and you can word it so that a 13 year old can understand and word it not so allarmingly.

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