Well that one day a year has arrived. I thought I had successfully kicked the envelop under the couch, but DD saw it anyway. Why is it she can't seem to find anything else under there?

It is the annual birthday party invite to the one kid in DD's social group I don't like. It isn't like DD likes this 'friend' either since the kid is consistently mean to DD, but DD likes all the other kids who are mutual friends so they see each other a lot. And I mean A LOT. We have been 'friends' with this family since preschool. We just seem to attend the same functions, join the same social groups, play the same sports, attend the same church, yada yada.

Frankly, I don't even want to spend money on a gift for this kid. Wanna make it worse? The kid is rich (which might contribute to the bratty-ness even though the parents are quite nice.) So, whatever gift DD brings, it had better be 'cool' or she might as well not go at all. Don't you just hate these moments?

I've tried talking DD out of going to the party. Heck, I'm almost willing to spring for tickets to Europe just so she'll have an excuse not to go but DD knows far better than I that it would be social suicide to miss the event. Did mention they were rich? At least they are not having their party at their house. Having the party in a neutral party venue sort of evens out the playing field.

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eek! that stinks!
I know how it is to buy gifts for a kid that has everything...
tell me if you have any ideas for future referece, lol!
I say don't stress about it and if you do end up going, buy her a gc for toys r us or something. Good luck!

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Wow! maybe you'll come up with a fantastic idea and your dd will be the hit of the party.

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How about a gift card to the local toy store! Kids love getting those.

UGH! You do realize that this little social situation will probably last through HIGH SCHOOL?!

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I think these are great teaching moments for kids. Really, exposure to the haves-and-have nots only intensifies as we get older, and if your daughter learns these lessons early on the better off she'll be. Be thankful you have this opportunity to talk with your daughter about how she may be feeling pressure to buy certain things (such as a gift) based on what the girl may or may not expect. Whatever present your daughter brings, it is really only a "gift" if it can be given with good feelings and intentions.

To me, the bratty issue is totally separate from the rich issue. Kids can be spoiled at any income level. When they at the same time, however, it doesn't do the rich any favors in way of perpetuating stereotypes. With money, the brattiness issue can easily be intensified.

If I were you, I'd make a small donation in the friend's name to an animal shelter or some other local charity and wrap that up as a gift. It may make you feel better and teach the child a lesson at the same time.

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If your daughter wants to go, let her go. Maybe she can help you pick out a gift for her friend.


What really gets me is that this other girl is still just a child, bratty or not. She's the immature one and you are the adult. Perhaps taking the high road on this one is in order?

I agree with Kim that bratty kids cross all economic lines. If you daughter wants to go...let her go. I'm not sure how the 'rich' stuff factors in at all...meh.

We live in a wealthy area (for our state, at least) so DD does have several wealthy friends. My main concern is the bratty-ness. The mother will even say to me, "I don't know what XXXX doesn't have any friends." And all I want to reply is, "Have you ever WATCHED your child play with the other kids?!?!?" For the kid, the parent's wealth just adds to the "I'm better than you" attitude.

Which I guess leads to the question ... "What do you do when you want to seriously correct your a part of your child's behavior that you find objectionable?" I know the 'friend' does things that I would come down hard on DD if I ever observed her doing them (talking snotty to her friends, whining, driving a wedge between kids playing together, and general girl bullying) and I know the mother DOES correct her child verbally when she sees this behavior. I just don't see the mother hammering home the message because the kid keeps doing it! I actually feel sorry for the kid because of the lack of social skills.

As for the gift, I'll think of something. Usually we give an 'experience' like take the child for a playdate to the zoo or something. My problem is I really don't want to take this child anywhere! I'll think of something like a cool science project-in-a-box or maybe a craft project.

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Maybe the child won't be so bad when it is just you are your daughter at the zoo, or where ever you would take her to. Sometimes kids are just brats when there is a crowd.
Or mabye the project in a box is best...

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