FTJ Project-Get Your Spouse on Board?

[melsb]

Quote:

Originally Posted by skimommy The problem for me is what my husband thinks is a NEED I think is a WANT.

I agree with this statement. My husband needs a bike trainer. My husband needs a watch - though he has three or four others he broke his favorite one this week. My husband needs a suit jacket.

On the bright side he decided that he could use the bike at work for a bit!

[3boysmommy]

Not that I don't think we should try to get our spouse on board, but making that # 5 could lead to many people failing in the begining through no fault of thier own. In my oppinion, assignments should be things that count on the decission making and will power of the individuals enrolled in the program. It's great if you can get your spouse on board, but lets face it, who wants to start marital stress over "Forgetting the Jones"? That being said, my DH is on board. I just explained to him the project and he said "cool". But if he would have not been OK with it, I still would have done it for myself.

JMO

[ChickyHip]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3boysmommy Not that I don't think we should try to get our spouse on board, but making that # 5 could lead to many people failing in the begining through no fault of thier own. In my oppinion, assignments should be things that count on the decission making and will power of the individuals enrolled in the program. It's great if you can get your spouse on board, but lets face it, who wants to start marital stress over "Forgetting the Jones"? That being said, my DH is on board. I just explained to him the project and he said "cool". But if he would have not been OK with it, I still would have done it for myself. JMO

Thank you!

What some of you aren't understanding is that not all of our husband's just do whatever we want. My husband earns the money, therefore it is his. If he wants to spend it on $300 pennies from ebay, then that is his choice. As long as we have electricity, heat, food and diapers, I will not complain. In that case, he would just tell me to go to work and make my own money.

[Ejayne]

I think it depends on how you go about getting your spouse on board. I don't think it's right to just tell my DH about the FTJP and tell him that we are going to do it. I think a better way to go about it is to talk about our financial situation and then offer this as a suggestion of something to do that can help us in that area. I know that any time I try to force something on my DH he is completely resistant (obviously, no one likes to be forced to do something or be told what to do - we are their wives, not their moms) .
It also helps if I can find a way to bring it up so that DH thinks that it is his great idea! LOL

[phenomemom]

I already voted, but after reading some of the responses, I'm a bit torn.

I do agree that the exercises are something that we should be able to "achieve" through our own hard work and willpower. Our spouses are adults and have minds of their own and I would hate to see women feel like they are failing at exercises that they really have no control over.

Maybe we could just have an ongoing thread/discussion about involving spouses and kids and any headway we're making in that department?

Thanks for giving everyone some food for thought, ladies!

[changed4life]

It seems to me that we would only "need" to get our spouses on board if they are the ones who handle the finances. In our house, I handle the money issues and hubby gets an allowance from his own paycheck. (I don't work!). He always teases me about this.

So, I guess if there are men who handle the finances, they would have to be on board for the project to work. I guess it's a decision that has to be made individually. But, it doesn't matter one way or the other to me. If it's made into an assignment, those who want to do it can, and those who don't won't. Easy as that. Afterall, we are personalizing this project to our own needs anyway.

[swishina]

I don't think it should be an assignment to get your husband to agree. It's not your fault if he doesn't agree, and if not, then you can just do the assignments he would be ok with. I know a lot of people are struggling to save money in spite of what they're husbands do!

As for me, I'm sure my husband would be thrilled since I way overspent on groceries/Target stuff the last few months.

[taylyn]

I voted a big NO!!!

I was Going to Type basically this ... but This Poster said it well

Quote:

I do all the money in our house, so it doesn't really make a difference for us. My fiance doesn't really spend any money. He just needs coffe and not much else and we already have a stock pile in the pantry for him (it was on sale last month ) It's important to get spouse's on board and I think it really depends on your situation if it's imperative to the project that they are on board. So I'm thinking yes and no I guess

If you are in a Household where you are both Very active in the Money making , Bill paying and Money savings ... then By all means you should Be in anything Financial Together.

My Dh knows his Paydays and that is about it

Well he really Knows our Bill amounts and how much is Basically in the Checking account ,
He knows he is only allowed to Touch 60.00 a week from our Household Checking account , or else he knows he'll be in hot water with me.

He Has his own Investments and 401 k that keeps him going , - He knows all our bills are paid and he knows we NEED to save more money in general- But that is all my job - and I want this Job.
I Don't think Dh has anything to Do with our Day to day Money Issues.
I know I Need to quit Impulse Buying and Frivioulous spending, I need to Not say , " lets go out to eat"
I need to Get Dinner on the table , that I just Spent good money on buying!

I Need to Cut back on the Grocery bill and Know when to Save and When to spend.

I said it Before this is all about Me.... I won't Even bother DH with this.

I also think Kim can make any assignment she wants I think alot of us are already modifiing the No spending freeze any way, I read some are still Buying Ciggarettes or going on vacation - I am still going to buy my Coffee and Fountain sodas
- so
I don 't think this can really be Pass or Fail Assignment - IDK though -
If it is Pass or fail - I WILL FAIL #5

[sammydmommy]

I think if you are married or in a relationship where you share money and expenses, both parties need to be involved in this challenge for it to have the best results. My husband is completely onboard. He resisted buying a new $75 tool today because of this project. I was so proud of him.

[jen4]

Marriage is teamwork, so if having dh on
board with you will cause you to fail, then
you have issues. Money is something that
couples have to work on together just like
anything else!