FTJ Project-Get Your Spouse on Board?

[BabeInTheMoon]

I said no.. Everyone has brought up very valid points.. but this spending freeze is about me. I need to get back on track after spending on extras over the last few months geting ready for Christmas.. and I just splurged my $150 that my mom gave me as a gift. Now all my fun $$ is gone and I need to get back to business!

Now, my dh might agree to the spending freeze, and I am actually hoping he will, but since his "needs" are things I would consider "wants" I will probably be frustrated by his actions anyway.

Now, If the question was "Should Assig. #5 of FTJP be talk to your spouse about the project & invite him/her to join you?" I would have said yes. I guess the phrase "get them on board" is just a little harsh for me, as I have no control over anyone on this planet but me.

[aliadam]

I discussed this with my dh and both of my teens. We're trying to do this as a family, although I did tell my dd she could still spend her giftcards from Christmas she hasn't had time to spend yet. I'm sure my dh will "cheat" some because he normally gets starbucks everyday on the way to work, and buys his lunch out everyday. So hopefully he'll do better and said he would try....so I hope he just doesn't tell me if he cheats.

As far as what should be #5, I agree that whatever Kim picks is fine with me. She's much better at this than I am, so I'll leave those decisions up to her.

[maggie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by changed4life It seems to me that we would only "need" to get our spouses on board if they are the ones who handle the finances. In our house, I handle the money issues and hubby gets an allowance from his own paycheck. (I don't work!). He always teases me about this. So, I guess if there are men who handle the finances, they would have to be on board for the project to work. I guess it's a decision that has to be made individually. But, it doesn't matter one way or the other to me. If it's made into an assignment, those who want to do it can, and those who don't won't. Easy as that. Afterall, we are personalizing this project to our own needs anyway.

This is exactly my answer! I spend 95% of the money around here anyway (besides what goes towards the bills). My dh also gets an allowance from his own paycheck! I am the one that needs to resist grabbing that magazine in line at the grocery store, taking the kids out to lunch because we are bored and need an outing, etc. and anything I can do to curb that extra spending I can tell you right now my dh will be applauding! Our stocks are down so much right now that my dh is depressed about our savings (down about $20,000 from this time last year because the market is so bad right now). He would love to see me shave a few hundred bucks from our budget each month. It would really cheer him up! We never planned to touch that money for a long, long time, but just looking online and seeing how far down that balance has gotten puts him in a bad mood since we have been making investing a priority the whole 10 years of our marriage. It makes you feel like why did we even bother....

[taylyn]

Quote:

I spend 95% of the money around here anyway (besides what goes toward the bills). My DH also gets an allowance from his own paycheck! I am the one that needs to resist grabbing that magazine in line at the grocery store, taking the kids out to lunch because we are bored and need an outing, etc. and anything I can do to curb that extra spending I can tell you right now my dh will be applauding!

I could've wrote this myself !! - LOL

I know I have heard people say that Two People need to be involved in the finances , and that a Marriage isn't so Strong if you can't work together -

I don't know how other people work the finances but My DH doesn't even have a Debit card - so He is on his Own with his "allowance" every week.
I don't see how this spending freeze could Pertain to my DH
He also has to take customers out to lunch and golfing and all that great stuff ... so alot of times He uses his own Expense account money ,and Even if he has to shell out 10.00 of his Own money he gets it reimbursed.
Again I Just Wanted to Reinerate - that Two People can have a Good relationship , but not Be On the same page of daily spending.
DH and I live in two totally different worlds during the week! I need to stop the frivolous spending. I don't have to worry about him stopping at star bucks , or Going out and Buying a 100.00 tool.
It Doesn't happen -

[Claire]

Well, I think if it will make people fail, you should not make this a separate step, but Kim knows better than me. I do NOT agree with the comment about your marriage having problems if it will make you fail. Different marriages have different dynamics and that is a pretty broad statement to make without knowing the situation. JMO

I spend about 95% of the money here and dh is NOT a spendy sort of guy. He knows about it, said ok, but I know he is thinking I am nuts. He also knows I do very well at our finances, but that I want to improve even more! So, he appreciates me for trying this.

Of course, he will be gone a week of it to Las Vegas with a per diem so his spending won't really affect it except what he doesn't spend in Vegas comes back as extra money.

I do think getting SOME sort of support is important. This whole process is a lot like Weight Watchers with a different outcome/goal in mind. The thing that makes WW work is the support. So, it should be your dh, but it doesn't have to be to be successful.

[happymommmy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claire I spend about 95% of the money here and dh is NOT a spendy sort of guy. He knows about it, said ok, but I know he is thinking I am nuts. He also knows I do very well at our finances, but that I want to improve even more! So, he appreciates me for trying this..

This is my situation also. I do most of the finances, pay the bills, and let him know if he can or can't spend "X" amount of money on a tool or smthing he wants. He will always ask me... "Do we have $ to buy this?"
So when i told him about this challenge and the whole FTJ Project, i have to admit, i didn't ask him if he wanted to join, i kindda say okay we are doing this. I realized i did this after reading a post here that said we should ask and not just tell them we ARE going to. ooops!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claire I do think getting SOME sort of support is important. This whole process is a lot like Weight Watchers with a different outcome/goal in mind. The thing that makes WW work is the support. So, it should be your dh, but it doesn't have to be to be successful.

I agree to this 100% Great analogy! However, it should be a personal decision if the person doing this challenge would like the assistance and support. I think a buddy would be a great idea, if you want it.

By the way, my DH also thinks im nutz. What bugged me the most is that at first he said ... "Oh, It's not going to work!" To which i replied that if he didn't want to join me, that's fine. But i was still going to do it on my own. Now he's on board with me, but i guess i could have left him out and just gotten a buddy, since he doesn't spend w/out asking me first.