Mistakes are only bad when we fail to learn from them. Then, if you could go back and identify your shopping mistakes, what would they be? What have you learned about your buying habits over the years (or since starting FTJ) that can help you be more aware of your weaknesses before you succumb to them in the future?

Assignment:
Look back at five purchases – big OR small – that were mistakes. It could be something big like buying more house than you could afford, or simply a trip through the drive-thru for that probably wasn’t necessary. Write them down, and number them one through five. It’s a good idea to choose things with a wide array of price points and categories. Then answer these questions:

What kind of mood or state of mind was I in when I bought it?
What did I think it would provide for me? Did it? Did that feeling last?
What triggered the feeling that you “needed” that item?
What did I say to myself to rationalize this purchase?

You may even want to keep your list of triggers/weaknesses in a small spiral bound notebook in your purse (if you have a price book, you can write these things in the back). When you feel a spending mistake coming on, take the list out and look at it to reinforce the things you’ve learned.

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That is a great idea - I feel that I am bored when I go spend $. Then after I feel guilt. (which is good, I used to feel good - but ever since the beginning of the year, I feel the guilt b/c I have a plan!)

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"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them." ~ Phyllis Diller

Here are my main categories:

Clothing
I sometimes buy clothing when I need a pick-me-up. I think it can help me feel a little bit better about myself to wear something new, if only temporarily. I usually buy stuff on sale so I can easily rationalize the price - however I tend to end up with a closet jam-packed with stuff. In my effort to simplify my wardrobe, I'm only buying things I LOVE that LOOK GREAT on me. In contrast to saving money, this sometimes means spending more to get those great pieces - but I'm buying MUCH FEWER of them. It's quality over quantity from now on.

Eating Out
Our family does enjoy eating out. It's much more than the food, it's time together uninterrupted by daily life. It's like an hour and a half mini-vacation. We are pretty good to limit our eating out to once a week or less. If it gets to be more than that, it isn't quite as special and we start taking it for granted.

Toys for the Kids
In the past, we've sometimes bought stuff for the kids they didn't need (or especially want) just because it was their birthday or Christmas and that's what parents do, right? We wanted that moment of "wow!" from them which probably meant more to us than it did to them. Many of those toys quickly were cast aside in favor of the few things they really DO enjoy playing with. Again, for playthings we'd rather invest in quality over quantity for them. We're also much more likely to treat them with activities and experiences rather than things.

House
I don't know if I would classify this as a mistake, but it's worth mentioning here because it was a valuable learning experience for us. When I was pregnant with my first child back in 1999, I never thought I'd want to be a SAHM. I enjoyed working and figured I'd always want to work outside of the home at least part-time when I had kids. So, we proceeded to buy a house with a mortgage that depended on me working at least part-time. It wasn't a fancy house by any means (a 50s rambler with three tiny bedrooms and one bathroom) so it was easy to justify. After my daughter was born, I changed my mind. I REALLY wanted to be home for her, but the numbers didn't add up. Our situation magnified what I already knew: that a house doesn't make a home - it's the family inside that does. I was able to keep my job and go in part-time in the evenings; but I never saw my dh and the schedule was really hard on our family. That's when I started Mommysavers. At the time, I really wish we would have had a lower mortgage - but in hindsight it was a life transforming decision in a couple of ways. Ever since then, I've insisted that our mortgage and living expenses be something we can easily pay on one salary. Plus, without having to struggle like that Mommysavers would have never been created.

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Eating out is my worst slip-up. We like to eat out after church on Sunday. We'll try to limit it, but then someone will want to get something small (a special desert or drink) during the week. Those small splurges add up.
Our house (3 bedroom, 2 bath) is not bad -- I wish we had another bedroom and at least a half bath added. At first this was not true but now our mortgage payment is less than what some smaller 2 bedroom apartments charge for rent.
I'm looking forward to catching up to this step!

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Michele

Here are 5 Puchases that were mistakes for me. I to have the eating out issue at the same time we are trying now to keep it to eating out rules. 1. There needs to be an Occasion, 2. If there isn't a reason we need to do it with someone. So I won't go out with just DH but if we are going out with friends then We will. 3. No place that is way expensive. Anyway here are my other things I bought and Shouldn't have.

Hobby Spending ~ Just spent $33 on yarn to enter a knitting design contest. It’s a $10 GC for more yarn just for entering and I could win up to $100 and my Pattern Published. At the same time Hobby spending means my DH is going to spend $33 on his hobby. I was excited when I bought it, Am still excited. I love this kind of thing and the bonus of a $10 just for entering and the fact that it will provide me with hobby supplies for 3 months helped Rationalize this.

Camping in August ~ We bought a family tent $140. We could have made do with the smaller tent we already owned. Again I was excited about our summer plans and still am. The trigger was getting the invite for our Family reunion and the nice weather.
We rationalize it that it is a very affordable tent for its size. I did go on-line and look at all the tents available and that similar tents were going for much more. Figure this is the tent (8 person) that will grow with our family. I was worried that come August tents might be back ordered

New sun dress for DD ~ $8 on a Costco trip but I felt I was doing really well at sticking to just the items on my list and figured that the dress would be no big deal. Little things area a big deal. I was happy about the purchase until I started getting DDs summer clothes out and realized how much she had. I buy little things for DD all the time. They are never more then $10. I justify it by saying that since she wears primarily hand me downs that she needs something new every now and then and she has enough clothes toys and shoes (but the little shoes are so Cute) and she doesn’t need anything more.

Weight Watchers ~ $40 a month and while I am still going to the meeting I am not implementing the program in my Life. Its an Automatic payment. And I feel guilty every week and say every week that I will do Better then something comes up. I get my period, I have company, I go out, and I blow it. I rationalize it in that I am down 15lbs since Sept and at least it makes me feel like I am still working on things and thinking about it. I also then feel guilty for spending money on Junk. No one needs Ice Cream and chocolate but they sure are good. Still not sure about quitting when ever I am ready to give up I have a good week and keep going

Subaru Forester ~ $280 a month and 3 more years remaining. Well I was 8 months Pregnant when I bought it so my mood was rather hormonal if anything. This being my first car that I bought, the first car we would have payments on and me really needing a car before the baby came was all in play. I wasn’t sure about being a SAHM then either. We had planned for the decrease in income in many other aspects. But totaling my Car 3 months before the baby came was unexpected and we had just paid off all of our consumer debt just before so our savings was nil. So What I should have done was spend half of what I did. I could have got a decent vehicle for less then $14K instead I wanted something that I thought would meet our uses better and I am still very happy with my car but at the same time I should have shopped more. So to rationalize it we feel it will retain its value fairly well, and that we will use it until it dies or we have more kids and it is no longer functional.

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Kimberly Proud Mommy to Bethany Rose April 2006 &

Organizer of the Coupon Clippers of Tacoma

It came at a good time too! I was just about to go shopping just because I was bored!

A routine area for me would be eating out--working on that...it's not always a whole meal, but sometimes a Blizzard from DQ!
A mistake that I have made 3 times *yes 3 times* is buying new cars. I am completely committed to never having a car payment again, even if it means driving cars longer, and the next car that I buy will be one that I can pay cash for.

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Heather

Im so glad I ran into this topic...Im not really into the Forgetting the Jones' program here, but, I will def. follow up...

A few of my common and recent shopping mistakes!

As always, almost with anything, we tend to shop for quantity rather than quality. And I think that leaves me wanting more for some odd reason.

CLOTHES - Always look on the clearance rack rather than buying the cute outfit right off the manican that looks good on me too. My new way of thinking is if I bought decent quality clothes, like a new outfit once every month or so at regular or sale prices, I would feel better about the way I look and probably wouldn't spend as much money on the crap that sits in my closet bc it doesn't fit me just right or wears funny after being washed. I probably wouldn't have to buy clothes quite as often.

TOYS - No not for DS...every now and then I'll get him something, but typically, he doesn't need much now. Im talking about stuff for me and my DH...like playstation 2. He bought it bc the WII was too expensive at the time and we wanted something to do to keep us occupied on Friday and Saturday nights since we don't go out...I wanted Dance Revolution for it so I could dance and get some exercise...guess what...NO ONE USES IT! DH even went and bought like 8 different games for it...needless to say...its getting sold on ebay!

HOBBIES - so my husband has said, he wanted to learn to play the guitar...so for his birthday...i decided i would buy him a guitar and his mom bought him lessons...well the class got canceled bc there wasn't enough people...and the $250 I spent on the guitar is sitting in the closet! More money down the drain!

last but not least...vehicles...until we listened to Dave Ramsey...we wouldn't think anything of it...if we had known then what we know now...ya...we wouldn't have a 2006 Toyota Sienna XLE! Don't get me wrong...i love the thing...but...it's stupid to have financially.

My list could go on and on...but we have certainly learned to reveiw reasons for purchases we are about to make. Like we wanted to buy a certain computer armoire (over $1500 purchase) for our dining room to move things around, make space, hide things from the toddler, but we decided to make do with what we had even though the furniture doesn't match. Good thing, bc we ended up needing all 4 new tires for that minivan of ours which cost us almost $900

We are committed to this too... even though it means me driving around a 6+ year old minivan! We drive cars into the ground, too. My dh just vacuumed and washed it the other day, and it feels (almost!) like new.

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Yes not having a car payment sounds wonderful. I too need to just clean out my car to feel happy with it. Probably would find all my DDs missing shoes, toys and sippy's so I can no longer feel compelled to buy her more.

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Kimberly Proud Mommy to Bethany Rose April 2006 &

Organizer of the Coupon Clippers of Tacoma