Step #60: Create a Family Mission Statement

Like running a successful business, it helps members to focus on common goals and values. A family mission statement can help clarify what you hope to achieve as a family and help make it a more cohesive unit. It can help keep you centered on what is important, make better use of your resources, and learn to say no to things that don’t support your mission.

When creating a mission statement, it is important to involve every family member rather than just announcing it. If kids take part in forming it, they are more likely to support it. Parents should guide the conversation, but include kids’ inputs whenever possible. It’s also important to value everyone’s thoughts, even if you don’t agree with or share them.

The dinner table is a great place to discuss your statement. It can take several discussions to touch on everything you want to include. Don’t rush it. Your statement will evolve over time, until you find that you are left with something that concisely represents your family unit.

Questions for dialogue include:
• How money should be saved and spent
• Goals for education, career and using special talents
• How the family will help others and themselves
• Best use of the family’s time

A Sample Family Mission Statement*
The mission of our family is...
to create a place of order, truth, love, happiness, and relaxation; and...
to provide opportunities for each person to become
responsibly independent and effectively interdependent,...
in order to achieve worthwhile purposes.
Our Family Mission
To love each other...
To help each other...
To believe in each other...
To wisely use our time, talents, and resources to bless others...
To worship together...
Forever.
*From the "Personal Leadership Application Workbook" for
Stephen Covey’s The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Now that you’ve formed your statement, the next step is to keep in a place where it will be seen often. Don’t just write it and forget it -- to truly put it into practice, it needs to be in the forefront of everyone’s mind. Post it on the fridge, a bulletin board, or wherever it will be seen on a daily basis.

Resource: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen Covey

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I'm bumping this one up again. In the steps ahead, it will be important that you do this. Even if you don't call it a mission statement, have you had a conversation with your family about what it means to be a part of your household? What is expected of your kids? What is expected of you as a parent? What do you value? What do you want your household "culture" to be like as your kids grow up?

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We did this about a month ago. I can't remember if I shared the story that went along with it. I'm going to have to make up a last name to tell the story effectively (don't want to share my real one on here). Let's pretend it's Nelson.

At dinner one evening we wanted to create a family mission statement so we asked the kids, "What do Nelsons have in common? What is important to a Nelson?"

Ds (age 9) said, "Nelsons love the environment."

"That's great.", I said, "You've got the idea. What else?"

Dd (age 8) said, "Nelsons love each other."

and it went on...

Ds "Nelsons love God."

Dd "Nelsons love to read."

Ds "Nelsons don't watch to commercials."

Dd "Nelsons are generous."

Dd "Nelsons love to learn."

Ds "Nelsons are always on time."

Then as they were running out of ideas, dd thought very hard. Then her eyes lit up, and she said, "Oh, I know! Nelsons always buy what's on sale!"

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Mom to dd (age 9) and ds (age 11)
blogging daily about purpose and personal identity

Yes, the conversations can be GREAT! We did ours last fall, and I remember asking the kids about money and what they felt we, as a family, should be spending our money on. My daughter quickly piped up and said, "More video games!" Well, that wasn't exactly what I meant when I asked the question. However, it did lead to adding to our list that we like to play and have fun together.

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That sounds like something my boys would say!

We've not done a family mission statement for a couple of years. It's something we should revisit when things settle a little. The boys have had so much "grown-up" stuff thrown at them this year that I don't want to overwhelm them. They are really thinkers, and I'm afraid it would spark some thoughts of insecurity (i.e. "Why are Mom and Dad bringing this up now? Is there something we don't know?" ) if we started contemplating the future too much.

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Homeschooling Mom to Daniel (13 Years), Andrew (10 Years), Stephen (8 Years) and Emily (4 Years)

I can see where you wouldn't want to spark their insecurity. I am pretty sure your family already has very solid footings, Angie - especially after this past year. I'm sure they know now more than ever what it means to be a part of your family and how much support, devotion and positive thinking is. Some things are picked up even if they're not discussed.

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