Dream Your Ideal Life

If you had the ability to wave a magic wand to create your ideal life in every possible way, what would it look like? How would things be different than they are now? Are there certain things you’d like to experience or accomplish? Are there certain things you’d like to be? With the FTJ program, it’s not just important to know where you are right now, you need to figure out you’d like to go.

When we were children, our dreams had no limit. However, as we grew older and made career choices, family choices, financial choices, some of our dreams had to take a back seat to more practical matters. Don’t let your current financial situation limit your dreams and goals. Your life right now is a product of the decisions and mindset you’ve had thus far in life; your future will be a result of the dreams and actions you take from this point forward. Don’t let the past limit your future.

Many of us walk through life spinning our wheels without having something to really inspire us. Keeping your dreams in the forefront of your mind and revisiting them frequently can act as a motivator and help you accomplish them. Sometimes Forgetting the Joneses means putting your own dreams ahead of more immediately “gratifying” things like the Target endcaps and Frappucinos at Starbucks. It also means prioritizing the way you spend your time so that you can make progress towards your goals instead of logging too many hours on Facebook, or getting sucked into yet another reality TV show on Bravo. Which, by the way, are good things in moderation – just don’t let them consume your life.

During this phase of the dreams exercise, I simply want to you to write down as many of your dreams and goals as you can. They should encompass all areas of your life: personal, professional, financial, spiritual, and so on. What would you like to learn? What kind of person do you want to become? What can you do to improve the relationships with those around you? What do you want for yourself and for your family? Don’t just write down the things you want to do or experience, think of the person you’d like to be. How do you see yourself in five, ten or twenty years?

The more you write down, the better. In fact – shoot for 100. Include long-range plans and things you’d like to make happen this year, or even this month. Don’t worry if you don’t think you will ever have enough wherewithal to make them happen, if it’s a dream, write it down. There is nothing too extravagant or too illogical. After all, isn’t that what dreaming is about?

Write it in the Positive Form
When you’re writing down your dreams, write them out in the positive form. Visualize what you want to achieve instead of what you want to avoid. For example, instead of writing “getting out of debt” write down “being financially secure”. Stating what you want to achieve creates a mental blueprint in your subconscious about what to strive for. If you can only think of what you don't want, use that information and flip it around. What would the opposite be?

Make it Personal
When my husband took a look at my list the first time I did this exercise, he laughed. After that reaction I was embarrassed to let him see some of the ambitious and downright bizarre things I was striving for. Then he explained that he wasn’t laughing at the list itself, but rather the fact that only I could have come up with it. If your list looks in any way generic, it might be a good idea to refine your list. Make it specific and personal.

But I'm Happy the Way I Am!
Contentment is great, and dreams can only enhance that. Without dreams you stop growing as a person. You'd never tell your child, "I love you so much the way you are that I want you to stop learning and evolving!" That's rediculous. Don't do that to yourself either.

Let's also suppose that whatever you put on the list you were guaranteed to achieve. Better relationships? More security? Would you say, "No thanks, I'm fine"? A lot of us don't allow ourselves to dream anymore because we don't see our dreams as feasible. Or, maybe it's a protective mechanism because we don't want to get our hopes up about something only to have them not happen and be let down. Try to break past those psychological barriers and allow yourself to fantasize about what you would do if you have unlimited funds and unlimited ability. (Notice how our recent questions of the day have started this though process?)

If you can get your spouse to do this, you’ll get even more out of this exercise. It’s a great conversation to have whether they’re on board with the FTJ project or not.

Assignment: Come up with a list of 100 Dreams. If you use a spreadsheet, you’ll be one step ahead of the game. Next week we’ll be analyzing, prioritizing and organizing the list.

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Got it done. Another new list Harder this time around because I have been crossing off several dreams from my January list or at least will before July is out. Remodeling dreams for my current home are all gone. New dreams for the new place. But with the move we will be getting rid of a lot of debt so had to come up with more new dreams.

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Kimberly Proud Mommy to Bethany Rose April 2006 &

Organizer of the Coupon Clippers of Tacoma

This is a hard one, because my life is pretty nearly what I always wanted it to be: I have my faith, I have a husband who is my best friend, I have a son and daughter, who are equally fun in their own ways, I have a secure job which I enjoy. In my ideal life, I guess my home would be cleaner, and we would be debt-free. It would also be nice to own a second vehicle.

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Rebekah, Mom of fun but chaotic preteens

Wow, I have to think about this one!

We want to have our third child next year, and honestly, my biggest dream is to be able to be a full time SAHM for all three of them until the youngest is in first grade. Then I will want to have a part-time job where I only work during school hours, but that allows me to still volunteer and be a part of their school activities. My biggest thing is that I want to be there when they get home from school... even high school. I will start thinking about a full time career when the youngest is in high school, but I will have plenty of time to work a full time job when they are all out of the house. I want to enjoy my children while I have them.

I would like them all to have healthy meals that I've made with the occasional treat of a restaurant meal. I'd also like to be able to go to the movies occasionally and during the summer take small weekend trips.

I would like to have a house with a backyard. Nothing too big and nothing too small... just enough for a family of 5 to live comfortably. And be within the current school district. Maybe a dog. And a comfortable place for my kids to be in and want to invite their friends over. We'll need a "new" car once the third child comes as my DH and I both have compact cars. That's not really a dream though... more of a necessity. BUT the dream is that it will be paid off!

I'd like to have only 1-2 credit cards that we pay off every month, my student loans paid off, a full emergency savings account earning interest, and college savings accounts for all 3 of my children. PLUS money going into my IRA and money going into my DH's 401(k) account.

I'd like to be able to take a weeklong trip to Disneyworld (really, it IS the happiest place on earth) every 3-4 years. I'd also like to be able to visit both of our families every year (alternating so that we see each of them every 2 years). This is actually doable since almost all of our family members (AZ for me and NY for my DH) live in the same area.

I'd also like to continue my hobby of family history and take some trips to ancestral places, including overseas! This may have to wait until all the kids are grown though.

I guess I just don't want my kids to grow up and think they were "poor" during their childhood. I think if our money is handled wisely (and we teach them to do the same), this won't happen. (Right????)

That's not too much, is it?

This is the first time I've ever done this exercise... My dreams don't seem too off the wall, I think. That's pretty exciting! It makes me hopeful.

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Monica ~ Mommy to Matheu, 7 and Liliana, 2

Good list, Monica! I enjoyed reading it.

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My dreamlife includes being able to one day put roots down and own a house rather than moving so much. We want 5 kids and for me to be able to stay home. I want $ for our retirement and to be ableto take go out to dinner every once in a while and have an emergency fund!

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Proud Navy wife, Mama to three and woman who loves high heels!

I went over my list from January and everything was pretty much the same. I had a few short term goals we're currently working on, but a lot of them were continual, ongoing goals.

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It's not what you make; it's what you spend.

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Mine are pretty much the same, too. I was able to cross off a travel goal as well as finally getting a new living room couch. I added a couple goals related to the kids and finding ways to coexist more peacefully. Still not sure what my action steps on those will be.

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We've got a lot of "dreams" that are more like goals. Even when DH decides he wants a Porsche. Whenever we feel like we're at a standstill or life seems overwhelming, as long as our basic health is intact, we drive to the nicer parts of our town. Not so much see the material things, like the big, multi-million$ houses for reasons of envy, but more for the reasons of setting goals. We get a nice feeling when we're in those areas of town. Great little boutique malls (where we browse but just have a coffee/tea and light lunch at), we just window shop and enjoy the weather and atmosphere. We look at landscaping at the homes and steal ideas for our own home. We actually come away with the motivation to do more and yes, to plan to save more so we can spend more......someday, like when we see really nice furniture. We love hanging out at a regular upscale mall just for the feel of it and the people. Some are from Mattel, but for the most part, they are much more polite and nicer than in other areas. We get better service, too, when we do shop there (at the same prices as other malls).

All I'm saying is being around success can be motivating - even though we have no idea what goes on behind their doors. Looking at travel brochures is motivating - going on a small trip, but staying in a nice hotel is even more motivating. I think Hope is what makes up keep going and planning. We're working hard to get the kids' college funds built so they won't have the challenges we had just to start out as an adult. Hope, optimism and planning works for us.

I like the idea of 100 dreams (wow, that's a lot!). I think I'll get the whole family in on this one!

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