My sister, who is 10 weeks pregnant, sent me this!!

1. I finished the Oreos.

2. Not to imply anything, but I don't think the baby is going to weigh 40
pounds.

3. Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee
had a baby!

4. I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby
forever!

5. Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super
Bowl.

6. Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise
visit from that Richard Simmons fella.

7. Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy,
that's gotta hurt.

8. Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to
Willard Scott!

9. I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?

10. Are your ankles supposed to look like that?

11. Get your *own* ice cream.

12. Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today.

13. Got milk?

14. Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney?

15. Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!

16. Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water.

17. Your stomach sticks out almost as much as your rear!

And last but not least:

18. You wouldn't REALLY pull the trigger on that gun..............WOULD YOU!??!

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Very funny and boy, can I relate. I heard it all when I was preggo the last time!

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~*JAMI*~ GO RED SOX! WORLD CHAMPIONS!

Just FYI ;

any of those statements may result in loss of lower lip tone- as it is appropiate to grab lower lip of offender and stretch it over their eyebrows-
Bill Cosby said so

They should have added this one.......true story, cuz my dh said it to me!!!!
" Can you puke a little quieter? I can't hear the t.v.".......we had a small apartment and a t.v. without a remote control, heaven forbid he would have to get up out of his comfy chair to adjust the volume while i am vomitting!!!

Too funny!!

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OMG...ya'll had me choke on my coffee....mommomsquad, I LOVE Bill Cosby, and Countrymouse...I would have HURT him!!!

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Here's one my Mom told me:

" Do you beep when you back up"