Why is it a no-no for your husband to discuss his beliefs, or lack thereof, with his own son? It's no different than you sharing your beliefs with your son. If the parents disagree on this major of an issue, they should either decide to put up a united front, decide to each teach the child their own beliefs, even if they differ, and use that to teach about differences in beliefs all over, or not have kids. You are disregarding your husband's beliefs when you deny him or tell him he's not allowed to discuss them in front of your child. If my husband did that to me, he wouldn't be my husband for long. JMO - sorry if it's blunt.

Take your child and go to church if that is what you want to do. DO NOT force the idea on DH, though occassionally asking him if he would like to join you does no harm, IMO. By doing so, you will be reminding him that the invitation is always there.

My DH and I joined a church several years ago and had the kids involved. After a few years of being there, DH started going less and less. Suddenly all night fishing trips or early morning hunting trips began to take over. My 2 boys began to complain that if dad doesn't go then they don't have to either, and they began going with their dad on these trips. My 2 girls and I remained regular goers and got more involved with church activities. To date we are still very involved and spend quite a bit of time at church doing things. However my 2 boys and DH refuse to step inside one except for a funeral. Sometimes DH complains that I spend more time at church than at home, but I simply remind him that he is free to join me if he would like, otherwise it is a mute subject.

Sadly we have had a lot of hard times in our lives over the last few years. And you can sure see the difference in how each famiy member has handled the issues by who is going to church. My DH seems so stressed and unable to handle things anymore, where as I am more relaxed and focused and not feeling so alone in lifes problems. Same goes with my kids. The boys view things differently than the girls. The girls are definetly more grounded in faith than the boys. When things go sour they have their faith to get them through. The boys only have fishing and hunting and are therefore, IMO, running away from their problems. In the end I know my girls will be able to handle the lemons life throws their way. My boys though, well I just keep praying for them.

You will definitely be in my prayers! About 7 years ago my husband and I moved out of full time ministry and it really shook our foundation. You mentioned that your husband had been "born again" early in his life - me too, and I think because of that we take our beliefs for granted! When we had such a big life change, we still believed in God and the sacrifice of Jesus Christ in our minds, but our hearts had to wrestle with it again. I found peace in my beliefs faster than my husband and it was scary to see him doubt. The fact is that if our beliefs are really going to be alive then we have to wrestle with them once in a while. Hopefully, that is what your husband is doing. In the meantime be the Proverbs woman the best you can and lead by quiet example. Maybe God's peace in your life and your ability to fellowship in a church setting will become more and more appealing to him. In the end, my husband and I have a vibrant relationship with Christ that I don't think we could have had without the fight!

Calimari, you asked a good question, and you are right; I need to clarify. I don't oppose the fact my husband discusses his non-belief in front of my child, or to my child, it's the way he does it. As with many other things (which we've discussed so many times over our 23 year marriage), he does it in a disparaging way; he basically puts down those who think differently than them, and tries to put the God factor in a negative light, rather than stating that it is his opinion. When I teach my son, I try to let him know that others feel differently, and why. I don't really want him to doubt God at this age; he already asks such good questions as he tries to make sense of it - like the magic of Santa Claus. I'm a little concerned that when he finds out Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny aren't real (probably this year), he will also wonder if we were fibbing about God. It's more my husband's methods, than his belief, although I wish he was a believer, too. I just feel that people need a higher power to lean on during times of trouble, or they will lose hope. I want him to have that. We all know he will make up his own mind later.

Go to church, one that feels right for you. As you learn Gods word, you'll gain wisdom and your action will speak for themselves. Then your husband will see the change in you and maybe he'll get it. I foolishly stopped going to church, because the only day off my husband had was Sundays. He complained that he wanted to do things on Sundays and thought I was being a church freak. I never impossed my beliefs on him and went to church for my own reasons. I think he was scared and indimidated by church goers. Some people take church to far. My mistake for stopping, but thank you, I will be going to church Sunday, by myself. I love the energy I get and the feeling of peace. Lastly, if God brings you to it, he will bring you through it!

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Theresa Williams

Desertmom - thanks for taking the time to reply. I agree that a lot depends on the tone of the conversation, and it's too bad your husband cannot give your kids his perspective without putting you down. While you may think that people need a higher power to lean on in times of trouble, or else they might lose hope, it is not necessarily so. I have no higher power to lean on, and I managed to get through my mother's death as well as can be expected. Actually, I'm the only one of my sisters who did not require therapy. As far as hope - I have lots of hope. I'm an optimist. I think that's something that is more ingrained in a person's personality to begin with - if they are a glass half-full or half-empty sort of person. Or, in the case of my worrywort sister - it's not whether the glass is half full or empty, it's that it's glass....and it might break.