I have a dilema (sp??) Our church is doing VBS this week. We started on Sunday evening, I am in charge of music with one other lady. apparently I stepped on her toes because last night she complained about me not listening to her when she said something, okay I must have missed something because I don't recall her saying anything and if I didn't hear her why didn't she say something again?????? Then she says I didn't speak to her last night. (I didn't say hi She didn't speak to me either) i don't remember even seeing her until the end of the night. So now I have to "Apologize" to her. I am just frustrated over all of this. I am not good with confrontation at all! (only when I yell at my dh) He asked me today if I wanted to with draw our membership from the church. He is very upset about it too. (By the way he is our sound guy and he says he didnt' witness anything either, so I am very confused by the whole thing. Anyway I just need to vent!!!!!!! If you have gotten this far thanks for reading. ANd would you please pray that I find the right words to say to her. I just don't understand why I have to be the only one to apologize. And I guess I am on my own with music now!!!!!

__________________
~Jill~

It doesnt sound like you owe her an apology at all. If it were me I would just say "ya know I honestly have no idea what happened or why you are mad at me but Im not going to apoligize for something that I didnt do or didnt do intentionally. Some people are just weird when it comes to things like that I guess. Sorry you are having a hard time though. Hopefully, she will come to her senses soon.

__________________
SAHM to Elias 3/00, Camdyn 7/03 and Teagan 5/08

This woman must be feeling very lonely or something. Seems to me that she gets her assurance from having others acknowledge her. Don't let it bother you. You can never predict these things nor can you prevent them. Try not to let it ruin your spirits either. YOU EXUDE positive energy and the kids at VBS need that, more than one lady's self esteem crisis!!!

Hang in there girly! ((HUGS))

Thanks girls. My friends here can't figure it out either. Just some extra reassurance helps.
My one friend said last night, (she used to help me do music) That I would have problems with this lady because she wants to "Run" the whole show! If she can't she finds things to cause issues. So I guess she is right. Just like you said Christy she has self esteem issues!

__________________
~Jill~

You know - I used to think that everyone at my church were basically all good people! I have had to learn the hard way that even the church is filled with evil people. I'm not saying this lady's evil or anything, but there are people who do go to church who's mission in life seems to be to ruin the church or someone there. I hate having this negative opinion when normally I'd say she must just be having a bad day, but in my most recent experience there are a lot of nasty people out there! You stay nice - maybe explain that you didn't hear her say anything or whatever - but I'd stay away from her if you have any uneasy feelings! I just recently had to leave my church of 28 years (almost my entire life) because of problems just like this! Our problems have to do with a select few volunteers & even the pastor!

__________________
Stay at home mom to my 3 boys... ages 5, 3 & 1!

I can do all things through CHRIST who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

Sorry for this situation, Jill! I've been in similar ones and know how hurtful and frustrating it can be. I hope you do not pull your church membership over this one person! I've found there are people like this, unfortunately, who for some reason just seem to need to be in a crisis about SOMETHING all the time.

My unasked-for :-) advice is just to let it go--continue to be friendly to her, refuse to discuss the situation, and try to enjoy the last days of VBS. If she seems "funny" about it, or you really feel you have to say something, say something like, "I'm sorry if I said or did anything to offend you; I certainly didn't mean to. Let's start over." (try to say this with someone else around to witness it, also!) Refuse to discuss it anymore; just repeat, "I'm sorry if I did anything to upset you. Let's just move on." You're taking away her power by refusing to GIVE her that power and discuss the situation endlessly.

If you discuss the situation with her, you can be sure that she will NEVER be satisfied by anything you say! You'd just be prolonging the drama she desires.

God bless you for helping with VBS! I hope you enjoy the rest of the week.

This is very good advice!!!

__________________
~Happiness is a large family~