Emily is 11 1/2 years old. Since moving to TN two years ago, she had gained a good bit of weight. I didn't know how much until this week, though. She is about 5'3", and she weighs 152 pounds! I am overweight, but I didn't get this way until after my fifth child was born. Yes, I had gained before then, but not in a gross amount. What am I going to do with her? That is way too much for her age!!! I hate to deny her the foods that everyone else eats...it is just not fair. I have talked her into playing soccer again this fall, something she always did before the move but hasn't since we moved. She is pretty active as far as playing, walking up the road to a friend's house, etc. I feel so bad for her. Now that she is starting middle school, too, this is going to get tough on her, I am afraid. I really could use some help!

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I wish I had some advise for you but I don't. Both of my children started putting on weight at about 8 years old. My DGD is 7 and you can't fill her up. She wants to eat all the time and mostly junk. She gets mad if you try to get her to eat something not junky. I am afraid she is going to have a weight problem.
I hope someone has some advise.

My ds was overweight for most of his elementary years. My pediatrician told me children shouldn't really diet (with a few exceptions of course) and what he recommended we do is provide lots of healthy snacks, increase activity, and just try to keep him from GAINING weight. He said that eventually if he maintained the same weight he would "grow into" the weight. We did start doing things like limiting how many slices of pizza he could have at a meal (he would gorge himself). In the beginning it was really hard, but eventually he got used to it. Good luck....it's a hard thing to deal with.

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First off I would make sure something medical isn't causing the weight gain. I understand your concern, unfortunately kids can be cruel. Does she like dance, gymnastics, or certain sports?
Go on family walks at night after supper.
Make it a rule that no one eats after 8 pm.
Look for low fat dessert options.
More fresh fruits, popcorn, healthy gorp (raisins, goldfish, peanuts)
Family bike rides.
Would she be interested in doing exercise tapes with you?
Pick the healthy options in the happy meals at fast food places--the apple slices are actually good.
Big one--no pop.

I would check her medical! A friend of mine , just had her ds thyroid checked b/c of his weight..
If it isn't a medical issue, I wouldn't pressure her to much! You don't want her to have a eating disorder.. Growing up I use to skate competitvley, and my coach alway told me I needed to lose weight. Well I did. But not the right way. I didn't eat, diet pills and all that.. Still to this day, I catch myself not wanting to eat..

Maybe school will have an after school program she will want to join..

I would look her activity level, sometimes kids (and adults too) overestimate their activity level. For example, she is waking to the friends house, but what do they do when they are there? and when she is playing is she getting vigourous activity. Playing soccer is a good idea because it is vigorous and if she enjoys it, it is not like exercising.
Then look at the diet and see what you can change as a family (like the things someone posted above) it is great to do it as a family because younger kids may have the same habits and may be heading in the same direction.
I have done a lot of work with the American Heart Association to get phy ed and health requirements back in schools and it is amazing how quickly the case of childhood obesity are rising, but kids are getting less activity and I am guessing diets are getting worse.

I was an overweight child myself and I know how hard it is to go into school and get picked on. First off yes check to make sure it isn't medical. Once you have determined that it isn't a medical condition you need to make changes for the whole family. First, do NOT sit her down and talk to her about your concerns. She will feel guilty and when other children complain about the changes she will take it personally. You said she used to play soccer and that the weight has crept on since she quit. Either she needs to start soccer again or find some other sport or activity to burn calories. Dance, gymanstics, riding her bike, going for walks, roller skating, whatever she likes. If she says she doesn't like any it may be because it's harder to move with the extra weight and she gets tired quicker. But get her moving again. Also, more vegetables, fruits and water, for the whole family. Save the juice and soda for once in a while. Push water water water! Often times people overeat just because they are dehydrated. Even flavored water is better than soda. Watch portion sizes. It's easy to grab too much and then mindlessly eat. And make this a family change. Too much soda and junk isn't good for anyone.

I definately agree with the family change idea. Not just to not make her feel guilty, but in my case I'm the one that's overweight and my kids are skinny. (I didn't get this way until after my third child) Any how, my new take on things is, why should I be giving my kids all this junk? They may not have a weight problem but they are still not very healthy.

Instead of focusing on the child who needs the most help, make it a family affair. Everyone's diets should be modified. Watch your carb and fat intake. Prepare meals that have fresh veggies and lean meats: chicken, fish, etc.

PORTION control. That is a given.

If it's not good for you, it's NOT good for them: watch what you stash in your pantries. When kids are hungry they want a quick fix. Try to not have a lot of prepackaged "goodies" that are easy to grab and eat. Try stocking your pantry and refrigerator with healthier snack options: celery, blueberries, strawberries, yogurt, graham crackers, popcorn, pretzels

Anything that is physical will help. Even if it's just a walk every day for half an hour. In fact, it might be nice to do a mommy/daughter walk or even a family outing each day!

If Soccer isn't for her, try martial arts, badminton, rowing, field hockey, etc. The sports that are not so "pro athlete" centered. Soccer is VERY intense...especially in the older leagues. Lots of running and game plan. Try something that is more team centered with less emphasis on who the weaker player is! Maybe that is her biggest hang up!

I agree about it not being a focus on her.
Make suttle changes and see how it goes from there.
The family approach is the best, then no one is the center of why changes are being made.
The worst thing someone can do about weight is get on the overweight person about their weight. It hurts and us emotional eaters will just feed that pain over and over again.

Good Luck and God Bless with this challenge, keep us updated.

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Jenifer M