I don't mean for this to sound like kids are a burden. It's certainly not intended for it to be that way...however, when becoming a mother, I'm sure we can agree, we lose a little sense of who we are as individuals.

What were you like before you had children?

1) were you punctual?
2) did you pay attention to detail?
3) did you remember everyone's birthday and anniversary?
4) Did you pay your bills on time?
5) Did you spend more quality alone time with your significant other?
6) Did you take time out for you each day/week?
7) Did you work full or part time?
8) Did you have hobbies and interests you put on hold because "you didn't have the time".
9) do you miss the OLD you or do you like who you are now?
10) Do you feel like you have purpose?

i had my ds when i was 21. so i didn't really know who i was until he was born. after that i realized who i was.

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1) were you punctual?Yes, always until my second was born.
2) did you pay attention to detail?Yes , but not anymore
3) did you remember everyone's birthday and anniversary?not so much, but I was better then I am now
4) Did you pay your bills on time? always but not so much these days
5) Did you spend more quality alone time with your significant other?yes lots of time
6) Did you take time out for you each day/week?every day
7) Did you work full or part time? full time
8) Did you have hobbies and interests you put on hold because "you didn't have the time".Nope
9) do you miss the OLD you or do you like who you are now?the old me
10) Do you feel like you have purpose?My purpose is to raise children who give more then they take[/quote]

After my son was born I think I went through a bit of a mourning stage over the "old me".
Sure there is good and bad to both ways of life. Now I barely remember how life was before having our little guy. The house was so quiet in comparison. I used to look for projects to fill my time.

I used to work full time, actually DH and I both worked a lot. So much that we rarely cooked, and only cleaned the house on weekends. Now that I am home full time, I have been making an effort to learn how to cook. It seems funny to me, but it has been a struggle to figure out how and what to cook and then making sure I have the groceries needed for those meals! It is no wonder I never had time for it before! My goal is to really get in the groove of things like that so that when the day comes for me to return back to the working world again, then it won't be so hectic.

I still miss being able to leave the house with DH at a moments notice to see a movie or go out to eat. I think that is the biggest thing for me though.

I have found new ways to bond with new people. I have made friends with other Mommies now, and it becomes rather fun talking about kids and setting up play dates.

Fortunatly, by the time I had my first, DH and I had really calmed down in regards to late night weekend parties. We were so into our work that we used to be worn out just from working and did not have the urge to stay out late on the weekends much.

As far as having a sense of myself, I think I have always been rediscovering myself. It seems to be a never ending process. I have accepted that there are going to be many-many stages to life and I am trying to learn from all of them. My one hope is that when the day comes that the kids move on to their own lives, then, I will have the ability to re-adjust. Hopefully, I will be able to take little parts of each phase and put them all together, my hobbies, my career, and still be a Mom when I am needed. Those are the golden years right? I can only hope! LOL!

1) were you punctual?yes and I still am
2) did you pay attention to detail?No and still don't.I don't know why I never have?
3) did you remember everyone's birthday and anniversary?oh Yes.
4) Did you pay your bills on time?Yes.
5) Did you spend more quality alone time with your significant other?Yes now the kids are always wanting his time so I share
6) Did you take time out for you each day/week?Yes I used to go out alot but was before getting married even and with dh and having alot of fun.Once we got married we stay home and that was before kids.maybe we were getting into practice then?
7) Did you work full or part time?Full time
8) Did you have hobbies and interests you put on hold because "you didn't have the time".Yes I played on a baseball team and loved it.
9) do you miss the OLD you or do you like who you are now?I miss some of the old me.I was much more patient before kids and let things go so much easier.Now I kind wound up so easy and then have to figure out how to calm down with out showing actions of being wound up!
10) Do you feel like you have purpose?Yes of course I do...

__________________
Wife to Rick for 14 Years
Mom to 2 boys Dakota 13 & Ryan 9
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January Grocery Budget~$330.00

) were you punctual? Yes
2) did you pay attention to detail? Yes
3) did you remember everyone's birthday and anniversary? Yes
4) Did you pay your bills on time? Always
5) Did you spend more quality alone time with your significant other? yes, but the time we spend together now means more, because we know how rare it is!
6) Did you take time out for you each day/week? Yes
7) Did you work full or part time? fulltime
8) Did you have hobbies and interests you put on hold because "you didn't have the time". Yes, I worked out more
9) do you miss the OLD you or do you like who you are now? I love who I am now! It is different than who I was before I had kids, but in a good way
10) Do you feel like you have purpose? Always!

My biggest difference -- I wasn't afraid to drive any car in any weather conditions! When I was in college, one night, I got off from work at 9:30 and left for home (3 hours away normally) in a horrible snowstorm! I packed my boots, bought some long johns, a new flannel and I drove home. Didn't think twice about making such a trip. In fact I remember thinking, at least there wouldn't be a lot of traffic on the road!

Now, before I leave home, I check the road conditions, I read the weather report. And a lot of times I refuse to take the kids out in poor weather and don't even mention bad weather to me. And I'm more careful about myself when I'm driving -- my kids will need their mommy to help them grow up!

Maybe off topic but it has been on my mind lately!

I thought I should probably answer my own questions!!!

1) were you punctual?

Always the first to arrive and one of the last people to leave. I took such pride in that. It is very hard for me to show up with two minutes to spare now....or even two minutes late.

I was not only punctual but RELIABLE. I knew when I committed to something it was 100%.. But now everything is dependent upon deployment schedules, naps and bedtimes!

2) did you pay attention to detail?

No, I've never been that type. But I did remember things better before kids!!!


3) did you remember everyone's birthday and anniversary?

Yes. I used to be the one that bought cards WAY ahead of time and sent them out precisely one week before the recipients birthdays. Now, I am just lucky to have gotten my Christmas cards out on time this year! I hate that!

4) Did you pay your bills on time?

Always have and still do. Online bill pay has helped with that


5) Did you spend more quality alone time with your significant other?

We used to do more spontaneous things together but we still make each other a priority.

6) Did you take time out for you each day/week?

Before kids I had all the time in the world. Now I make sure I can at least attend my breakfast club on Saturdays. If I can't make those, then I try and make a lunch date with friends while the kids are in MDO or attend a MNO with the MOMS Club


7) Did you work full or part time?

I worked full time until I moved to the U.S. Then I worked part time (at least two jobs). I stay at home now

8) Did you have hobbies and interests you put on hold because "you didn't have the time".

I used to work out at the gym for two hours. Now I am happy being there for at least an hour. When I Have that much time to myself I think about all the other things I 'should' be doing instead!

9) do you miss the OLD you or do you like who you are now?

I of course miss my pre baby body but honestly motherhood has definitely redefined me in a good way.

10) Do you feel like you have purpose?

Most definitely NOW I do!

1) were you punctual?
Yes, and I still do good most of the time with that

2) did you pay attention to detail?
Not really

3) did you remember everyone's birthday and anniversary?
Not really

4) Did you pay your bills on time?
Not really, lol.

5) Did you spend more quality alone time with your significant other?
Oh yeah! If we weren't at work we were in bed.

6) Did you take time out for you each day/week?
It was all about me!

7) Did you work full or part time?
Fulltime

8) Did you have hobbies and interests you put on hold because "you didn't have the time".
Sewing and learning to paint.

9) do you miss the OLD you or do you like who you are now?
The only thing I miss is the alone time and being able to be selfish at a whim. Now I always have to think of others first which is fine but sometimes I just want to go off somewhere and let it be just about me.

10) Do you feel like you have purpose?
I think even though I get a little bored sometimes I do. Keeping house and children happy is no easy task. It's repetative but not easy.

1) were you punctual? Sometimes. I was punctual to work, church, doctor's appointments. It really depended on where it was, who it was with, whatever. I was never REALLY late - no more than 5 minutes ever.2) did you pay attention to detail? YES!
3) did you remember everyone's birthday and anniversary? All of my family members and close friends. Now I remember their birthdays and their kids!
4) Did you pay your bills on time? Yes and I still do.5) Did you spend more quality alone time with your significant other? Really about the same. We spend a lot of quality alone time now it is just different. Instead of going out for a long distance bike ride we do things around the house.6) Did you take time out for you each day/week? Yes. I try to do that now, but it isn't always consistent or for a long period of time.7) Did you work full or part time? I worked full time and then some. I had quite the career going!!!!8) Did you have hobbies and interests you put on hold because "you didn't have the time". YEP! I worked a lot more than I even do now!
9) do you miss the OLD you or do you like who you are now? Sometimes, but while my purpose has changed it is normal to do that in growing up and older. I miss the YOUNGER me.10) Do you feel like you have purpose? Yes. Now that my kids are transitioning into school aged kids, I find I am having trouble transitioning myself into my new purpose. It is always a challenge not to lose yourself, I guess.