Introvert - Page 2

JennyH · 02-09-2008, 08:08 PM

I'm glad you brought this up! It's good to talk about this with others who feel the same way.

You are definitely NOT alone. I am terribly, terribly shy! I have been this way my whole life. I'm fine around my immediate family and those who have known me for years and years, but still even then I can sometimes be reserved.

I was teased a lot when I was young because I moved up North with a Florida accent, which everyone thought was funny. Kids can be so mean! (Gee, deja-vu... I was just talking about this on another post today) Anyway, that made my shyness soooooooo much worse because it caused a lot of insecurity and loss of self-confidence.

The worst experience for me was going to my DH's big family get-together on the East Coast several years ago. I felt so bashful and insecure about everything I said that at one point I just retreated up to my room to BF my son... and I just cried and cried! How embarrassing is that?

It can be very painful to be shy. I can completely relate. I talked about this a bit in my Mommysaver profile, which I think will be posted tomorrow or next week sometime.

JennyH · 02-09-2008, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gourdlady06

The sad thing is, people don't see it as you being introverted, they see you as a snob.

P.S. I agree. This is sad, but true. Some people who became my friends later said that they had always thought I was a snob. Nothing could have been further from the truth! I was lacking self-esteem, not overflowing with it!

skimommy · 02-10-2008, 06:31 AM

I'm an extrovert but sometimes if I'm with a group of people that I have NOTHING in common (to my knowledge) then I tend to blend. I do have a Mommy bond now which makes those situations a little easier. My fall back is to talk about skiing which seems to interest most people and is something I know a lot about.

Sorry you had a hard time, you have so much to offer. You are intelligent, friendly & funny.

It is funny that you mention introverts being though of as snobs. I made friends with a girl from high school when I was working. I always thought she was a snobby cheerleader. She was just shy. Once I got to know her, she was so much fun.

liamsmom · 02-10-2008, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JennyH

P.S. I agree. This is sad, but true. Some people who became my friends later said that they had always thought I was a snob. Nothing could have been further from the truth! I was lacking self-esteem, not overflowing with it!

Thats the key with me too. There have been many times I have been viewed as a snob because I was not confident enough to talk to anyone.
I had a few years in college that I forced myself to be outgoing, but it wasn't me. I always used work as a way to be social, teachers have to be comfortable talking to others, but I was always more comfortable with my students than their parents or the other teachers, just too self conscious.
I've noticed that I'm becoming more introverted now I'm a SAHM. I have to force myself to go to activities sometimes, I do it for my son and his social skills. I have a very extroverted friend who just doesn't understand why I would choose to stay home from playgroup. I'm comfortable with 1-2 moms and kids, but when there's 10, I clam up.
Going to dh's work parties is the worst, I do anything I can to get out of them

Kristen L · 02-23-2008, 05:52 AM

I am an introvert and I am shy - they actually are two different things but often go together. Introversion/extroversion means where you get your energy from. Introverts get "recharged" from spending time alone and being inside their own heads/worlds whereas extroverts thrive and get energy from being with people. They also usualy need extra time to process a conversation and formulate responses, which can be awkward with people you don't know well.

I understand what you are all saying about being misunderstood and people think you are a snob. I have struggled with this my whole life, especially in college (especially since most introverts literally dread "small talk" and don't do it very well). Even my husband thought I didn't like him at first and thought I was stuck-up.

Now that I understand my introversion more (I suggest a book "The Happy Introvert" for some insights) it has helped me. I am actually very honest and tell people I am an introvert in certan situations. My bible study group has gone a lot better for me now that they know about how I interact. I also had to be very honest with my mother-in-law and let her know that every day I need time alone and our relationship is great now that she doesn't follow me around everywhere when she is visiting. I also avoid situations where I don't know anyone, but feel confortable going to gatherings where I know a few people and I can create my own smaller group which I thrive in.

Unfortunately, I have also realized that I can no longer be a teacher. There is too much stimuli all day long (bad for an introvert) and it makes me feel like I am going insane. I still love working with kids but know I will be much better suited to tutoring or another avenue where I have more alone/quiet time.

Sorry for going on so long, but this is actually something I have become quite passionate about because it truly has helped me understand myself better.

sunflower · 02-26-2008, 01:12 AM

This topic is so me. Thanks for the distinction between introvert and shy. I will have to the read The Happy Introvert but does anyone know what to do about shyness. I've always been this way. It seems like some groups I can work my way into if I keep at it and if there are some really nice, genuine, sensitive people in them. Other groups, though, just intimidate the heck out of me. I do not mind being an introvert as it has been defined above, but I do not like being shy. I makes life so much harder.

carlitasway · 02-26-2008, 03:13 AM

Yes, I am introverted. If it weren't for my kids I wouldn't attempt to go out and meet people. I am very content with being alone. I think the hardest part for me is I prefer male friendships over female. It's hard for me to connect with females.

desertmom · 02-26-2008, 04:08 AM

I think I'm a forced extrovert. I work hard to overcome my shyness and I probably work too hard at it.

Hey, we could all set up a time to meet for coffee....but we'd all bow out or not know what to say once we got there.

MXD · 02-26-2008, 05:27 AM

I can totally join the introvert club! I also have been wrongly viewed as snobbish and dh doesn't really understand why I need "me" time! I think that's why he has a hard time relateing to our dd, because she is like me. I used to be extremely shy when I was a kid but have forced myself to overcome that and I think speech class helped me alot. All the students in my college speech class always told me how confident I seemed when they were so nervous.(if they only knew the truth) I also work in a people related profession that forces me to interact. For me I think it's alot easier to interact with people who are strangers because I feel like what's the worst that could happen...I'll probably never see them again...whereas with people I know or see on a regular basis I am more afraid of saying the wrong thing and people getting the wrong impression of me. People who get to know me always really like me so I guess it's kinda of silly of me to worry about it. I will never be "social" by any means but I am more aware of who I am and try to compensate for that with others who don't know me.