I've read enough posts on here to know that you ladies give wise, straightforward (and free) advice. I'm in need of some. I feel like I'm always stressed out.
I've been a SAHM for almost 2 yrs. I have a 3 1/2 boy and a 1 1/2 yr old girl. She is quite clingy and sometimes screams when I walk 3 feet away. My son is a handful--he's a bit mean to her: takes her toys away, bops her on the head etc, etc. Together, they drive me CRAZY! I love them to death and I know I'm blessed to be able to SAH with them but somehow I feel like they are holding me back. It's an awful/guilty thing to say and it's not like I'm a corporate-ladder-climbing type. I guess I'm just missing my freedom and independence. Sometimes I think I have no business being a SAHM. I'm not a good cook, I don't sew or do crafts. I do keep a clean (not sanitized!) and organized home.
I've got a good life--a good husband, a healthy family. I know God is there for me bec. He's answered some MAJOR prayers of mine. I wasn't traumatized as a child, I don't have health issues or financial struggles. I'm not an alchoholic; I don't do drugs or smoke. Really, I have A LOT to be grateful for--so why am I so unhappy?!
I was watching a non-cartoon program about a 53 yr old woman--she said "her light doesn't shine" and that's how I feel. Does any of this makes sense?

I can honestly say I have been there, done that, and should have a t-shirt. In fact, I have these thoughts and days quite a few times. It is really dependent on how things are going in my life. The fact that you have perspective and realize you do have many blessings in your life and are greatful for the good things, does not make me think I should be worried about you. However, maybe you are simply overwhelmed and just need to get a break when you can once or even twice a week. You may just need to have lunch with a friend or just lunch with yourself. IT's amazing what one hour ALONE or WITHOUT CHILDREN can do to a person's spirits!

Could you maybe try exercising to see if that could perk up your spirits? !


Are you kids in a preschool? Is that something you can afford to look into?
Do you have many friends that you trust? Do you think you could maybe offer to do a babysitting co-op with them; they sit for you, you sit for them....giving yourselves a set time and date each month?

Are you actively engaging in play and games with your kids? If you are bored with how things are and are frustrated, maybe they are feeding off that vibe...or maybe they are crying out for attention...OR maybe they too are bored and need a change of scenary.

Do you take them outdoors to do things outside or to a park to play? Do you go to playdates? Are you involved in church or community programs?

I am finding this time of year seems to bring these kinds of feelings out in people. If you take a look in this forum there are a lot of women feeling the same way you are. It could very well be the Winter BLAHS....

There is nothing wrong with you. All of us have different needs and there are times in all of our lives where we do not feel fulfilled, but frustrated. Not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM. Some people really need the stimulus of work - even just part time something - so they feel a part of the adult world. You don't mention what social connections you have. Do you belong to any sort of mom's group? My best friend had a very hard time adjusting to being a SAHM after she quit working after her 2nd child. She felt useless, that her college education was wasted, etc. But she got involved in a MOM's club thru her church & made many friends, started working on the newsletter for her kids' school, and got some "adult" activities and company to keep her balanced and mentally stimulated. Perhaps you need a new outlet?

Thanks, Christy--good points.
My husband just deployed 27 days ago, so that's partly it. The base offers free drop-in care for deployed families which is great and I took my kids there for a while but they both got sick. Plus, other families need that service more than me. I agree that some ME time is in need but my kids are very attatched. They already miss their dad, and I don't want them to feel like I left too.
I have been looking online for playdates, Mommy & Me classes--trying to overcome my introvertedness. I've also "scheduled" some days where the kids and I go to museums, movies, etc. for a change of scenery.
Excercising/working out has not been my strong suit. I don't have weight issues but I do need some shaping up. My husband would be soo happy to come home to a WOWEE wife.

I just need to fix myself...

And there is nothing wrong with going to talk to someone about your life (therapist, dr., etc.). Sometimes that makes all the difference in the world!

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"I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves." Anna Quindlen

I think we all have been there at one time or another.

When I felt like i was at the end of my rope with the kids and needed to "refresh" with me time, I would ask a family member (ususally my sister) or even pay a babysitter for a couple of hours.

Maybe you could take your son to the daycare program and you and your daughter have a day out without him, or visa versa. Sometimes just being with one is all you need to recharge.

It is hard with two little ones.

Gosh, you and your kids sound perfectly normal to me. But there are ways you can feel better so you can handle it better. I think number one is to find a good sitter, so you aren't with your kids 24/7. You love them, but we all need a break away from the "mommy, mommy" and just be ourselves. Also, when comparing the corporate climb, remember that many of your employees behave the same way as your children - they just find other ways to argue and hit. At times I so wanted to put an employee in time out (and I didn't have kids then! Or put them in their crib out of the way so I could get some work done. They left messes for me to clean up, sometimes had me put too much on their plate but couldn't finish it all, and had bad tantrums. The only thing I didn't have to worry about was changing diapers, but with the extended breaks at times, I felt like I needed to potty train them, too. Of course, not all employees were like that, but it's the minority that are memorable at times.

I think you got some great advice above. Get some me time. The YMCA usually has free childcare while you work out. Everyone wins. And try yoga an Pilates. Centering oneself, as is needed for these exercises, is so important in handling stress. You may even make a friend or two. Starbucks is fun!

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