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Stephanie

A few years ago, I was in your shoes (but sans kids). I *wanted* to believe in something, but I didn't or couldn't.

The one thing that helped me is I decided to just start learning about other religions than Christianity - there is more out there! Christianity just didn't fit me - ever. I went to church as a child regularly, and it didn't fit me then...as I got older, I just labeled myself as an agnostic too. I wanted to believe in some sort of faith and order....but the Bible just didn't cut it for me as a guide, nor did I feel comfortable in any church I attended with friends.

I finally started just learning about other religions....I worked with a girl who was Hindu, and asked her TONS of questions. I've got some Buddhist books. I read a lot of mythology - Greek and Norse. I even researched different translations of the Qu'ran, and bought one and read it. I borrowed books from a pagan/Wiccan friend and read those. I visited various message boards for different religions.

Somewhere in all that, I found that I could have something to believe, that made me happy, gave me guidance, gave me peace. I'm still a beginner in it, and I sure don't know it all, but what more I learn, the more comfortable I am in my chosen "religion".

I'm planning on raising DD somewhat in the same way I believe, and if down the road she wants to look more into Christianity or any other religion, I will support her choice.

I'm rambling.....

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Well, I'm a Christian and I believe that God puts a longing in everybody for Him. Many people try to fill that longing in unhealthy ways and some just keep searching for ways to fill it that can't last. I wish I could answer about how you're feeling and why you haven't felt close to God, it's a tough question.

I attempted to respond to this thread earlier and I couldn't. Booker - you spoke very well. I agree that you need to start looking and educating yourself to what makes the most sense. I'm going through something similar recently and I also am trying to decide what to do with my children.

There is so much out there - start looking around and see what makes the most sense.

Good luck!

Edited - and remember what works for me or anyone else may not work for you!

That was very nicely said. It doesn't hurt to look around and educate yourself on different religions, you may find something you relate to or may use a combination of what works for you. Reading about different religions is fascinating, from a historical standpoint as well as a spiritual journey. I am a Christian myself, but really enjoy finding God in other religions and spiritual movements too.
Good luck and remember to do what makes you feel good inside!

I believe that God is a loving a God and wants his children to find him that is why the three main 'western' religions all have him as their centre piece. I agree with the other ladies, research what is out there, find what fits YOU. The Lord speaks to us all in the way that we understand so when you find the way that best suits you, it will be like the old cartoons with the light bulb going on over your head.
Calimari - aren't you awake yet? Love to hear what your point of view....

Ps We still want you around here even if you are agnostic, the differences of everyone one here is what makes it interesting.... and makes me keep coming back. If everyone was the same it would be a boring DISCUSSION board wouldn't it.

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"You have to live through the rain before you experience the rainbow"

Hey Stef - don't worry what others on this board might think. There are MANY agnostics on this board. There is nothing wrong with you for not having faith. I've had questions about religion for years and in my 44 years after all the reading and searching and conversations I've had with theologians, I've gone from agnostic to atheist. And the christian way is not the ONLY way to faith as well. Do some reading. If you are curious about a church experience but don't want to feel pressured into some strong belief you are not ready for, check out the unitarian universalist church. You need not believe in God to belong - they draw from many teachings and preach from a viewpoint of morals and ethics rather than a strict biblical approach. You might simply be a deist like my husband - comfortable with the idea of an existance of a god of some sort, a creator,but not necessarily the got of the bible or the koran or any particular religious sect. And to look at some of the questions you have about NOT believing, a good book is 'Why God is not Great - How Religion Ruins Everything." It gets a bit dull in parts but is very enlightening. Good luck!

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Stephanie

Hi Stephanie, Sounds like you’re really searching for answers and I think that’s the first step to finding them. It was for me. I remember always believing that there must be a “God,” but all the hypocrisies of religious turned me off. There was a time when I even hated Christians. They led me to believe God was cruel, rejecting, distant, and judgmental rather than loving, faithful, and caring like the Bible says he is and I’ve experienced him to be. After years of praying to an unknown God for answers I finally found him in a very personal way. I learned about relationship and not religion. That’s what I now have with Jesus. My life has never been the same since I asked him into my heart when I was in my early twenties. But, it all started with my search and desire to know God. The Bible says only a fool says in his heart “there is no God.” But to have to have “proof” is not unusual. It’s human. Thomas, one of Jesus’ disciples, needed proof too. Jesus met him right where he was at. He gave him the proof he needed. He understood and didn’t condemn him for his doubts, confusion, and even rejection. God meets you right where you’re at. I trust he will do the same for you Stephanie. It sounds like you’re a wonderful mom. You want the very best for your children and that’s what has brought you to this place. One of the most honoring privileges we have as moms is to lead our children in the way of love, success, hope, and truth. We want them to them to live their lives to the fullest, fulfill their potential, walk in love, and be happy for life. Personally, I can’t imagine doing that without sharing my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ with my children. The Lord has blessed my life in so many ways, answered my prayers for them, led me on the paths to true joy and happiness, and blessed me beyond measure. I have to share what he’s done for me, first to my children and with others as well. Our children watch us and learn from us regardless of what we believe. We’re leaving them a heritage either way. And, we all have faith in something—some have faith in God, others have faith in a godless world, some have faith in their own ideas, some have faith in the world and materialism, some have faith that there’s more to life than what we see. Ultimately, we choose who or what we will believe in and serve. We’re each accountable for our own choices. I hope this helps in some way, Stephanie. I know and believe that God loves you. I wish the best for you and your family. I thank God for you and your heart to know and understand truth. I pray for you to find inner peace and direction for you and your children.

Happyforlifemom-that was a beautiful post and I almost cried reading it. I think you put it perfectly!