My dd's best friend is from a mixed religion marriage (Muslim and Christian). They actually celebrate both religions- but mainly focus on the Muslim part. Throughout the years I am learning some about the religion- but have questions about it (mainly to be try to help my daughter out with the questions she has on the religion- and myself). I would feel horrible asking her father about it- since I don't want him to think that I am "looking down" at his religion or I am trying to convert him from his religion (KWIM?). I hope I am not coming off as ignorant- just questions so we can understand their religion better.

I know Rakshanda would be a great person to ask these questions, but I know she is really busy and only on here on occasions- but wondering if anyone else may have insight?

The first question I have is about pigs. Whenever her friend is over, I don't serve any type of pig meat (pepperoni, ham, bacon and so on)- why is it that they do not eat pig meat? Is it because the way the pigs eat or I recall hearing something about demons being cast out into pigs (I believe this is both in the Koran and the Bible).

Also his family is from India originally and was curious if the Muslim faith can somewhat be like the Christian faith in ways that there is seperate beliefs for each group or if it's different from which region you are from (kind of like the way their is Baptist, Protestant, Catholic)? I know there is the extremist (but seriously that happens in all the religions) but that is not what I mean by the different divisions (if that makes sense).

I am also curious if they have a special day of the week to celebrate their religion- ie Sunday is typically the day Christians celebrate their religion.

Is there any tradition or rules that you can think of that I should try to instill when she is over here (besides the no pig meat, when she first started to come over I asked the typical question about allergies and was just told- we don't eat any pig products)? I know that they do not attend a church in our area (they are also transients), but they attend one back where his parents live- by the way- what is the proper term for the church- is it a Temple?

Oh and the last question, her father is the Muslim, I have heard that you do not touch them since they are only for their wives- but when we first met- he did shake my hand (which I thought was really nice- since I was nervous meeting him!). Now typically, should you let the man speak to you first before you speak to them? I know that seems like a silly question but my dd's friend told my daughter that she has to let her dad talk first (if so I feel horrible since this past weekend I said hi to him before he had a chance to say hello).

I truly feel awful asking these questions considering they have been great friends for the past few years and it took me this long to ask into a few things we have always been curious about! I really hope no one takes offense to these questions! Thank you in advance!

Good questions don't feel bad, at least you are making an effort.

Pigs are considered unclean animals, I think because of what they eat and they are kept in the dirt. It is the same with the Jewish people. Also if you are entertaining muslims, attempt to buy only goods that are 'Halal' this means that it has been butchered in a certain way.

Their 'church' is a mosque, their 'priest is a 'imam' (if I remember correctly) a 'mufti' is another leader that is high up. Friday's are their special day. They are meant to pray 5 times a day on a special prayer mat facing Mecca (Jerusleum) every day. On Fridays they work in the morning and are meant to go to the mosque at lunch time for prayer time. The Imam calls them with song from the top of the mosque. Women pray in a seperate section from the men, it is behind a wall or curtain so the men can not be tempted by them.

The muslim habib (sp) which the women have to wear is purely to protect her from the weakness of man. It is designed to cover up her sexuality so she will not be raped, her body is for her husbands eyes only because it is regarded as being so intoxicating that man will not be able to control himself (that is how I had it explained to me). Also it is mostly only worn in public if you go to their home they are often wearing western clothing (if they can afford it).

As with talking to men it all depends how traditional they are, traditionally you are not meant to look a man in the eyes and only speak when spoken to (again so you won't drive him wild with passion...). You will find though that most muslim men living in an non muslim country understand that these are not our customs and are not offended by them, however, they appreciate and respect any effort that you make.

The way I had it explained to me was that muslim men are meant to protect the woman at all costs from mans weakness. I know this is not the case in many situations. I recommend that you read some books written by muslim women especially 'Princess' and 'Daughters of Arabia' by Jean Sasson. Very educational. Gives a good insight.

I would not feel bad at all about asking questions. If you meet them next time simpley say 'I wanted to know if there are any things that we are not meant to do or meant to do when ...... comes over." They (especially him) would appreciate it. It would be the same if they knew nothing about christianity and asked you if there were any special things that they are were meant to do for your children.

I think Ramahdan is coming soon, this is important as they are meant to fast between dawn and dusk. Ask your friend when it is on. Also ask if they are going to have a party when it is over if she invites you go they can be great fun and can educate you on the muslim faith.

Once a lifetime they are meant to make a 'hajid' which is a trip back to mecca, this is where you see on the news all the people around the black square thing in Jerusleum. In some cultures if a muslim has completed a hajid then their name will be (for instance my ex boyfriend in Indonesia) Susilo (first name) Hajid Hajid (he had been to Mecca twice) Sutrisno (surname).

I lived in Indonesia for a little while and my best friend was muslim and we had a mosque at the end of the street where I lived so every morning at 5 am we used to get woken up by the call to prayer, it was really facinating.

Oh one other thing, don't touch their feet or have your feet touch them... bad...

__________________
"You have to live through the rain before you experience the rainbow"

Thank you Happymummy!

I will check into those books you recommended!

Just a warning though they are graphic and are very mmm how do I say it parts are horrible, but they show what the 'sisters' are going through in some parts of the world.

__________________
"You have to live through the rain before you experience the rainbow"

Hi
Sorry i havent been on in a while, I will tyr to giveas much insight as i can, but I wanted to clear a cupole of things from Happyumummy's post.
1. Halal means the animal was slaughtered while saying a prayer for the animal Kosher is kind of the same, you coul ask her if they eat Kosher, it is easier to find in american stores.

2. We face Mecca in Saudi Arabia, not Jersulam.

3. The reason a women is covered, is to protect her purity and her name. A wome is like a treasure and something to be protected. therefore she should cover herself in public, and she can wear normal clothes in private, no necessarily scantily clad either, she should be modest at all times. For me modest is I dont wear sleevless tops, and I dont wear short skirts. I dont wear very revealing clothes or see-through material either.

4. The way Happumummy put it, maes me think she spoke to women who compalined about being muslim a lot. All mulsim men do not see all women as objets, they mostly see them as sisters. Theydont leer at them and are not intoxicated by them. It is just required by our religion that sexual intimacy is for your husband and in private and even if you have it all, you dot need to flaunt it. Judaism and early christianity also beleived this, in the early
20th century, british women couldnt show their ankles!

5.The two books that are recommended are very negative about Islam, they do one side of Islam, but not the good side just a very small fanatic side. I have read them both and did not like how the women are portrayed. I wouldnt base all my impressions of mmuslim women from these books.

6. Hajj is the once in a lifetime pilgrimage to mecca inSaudi Arabia. All musims are required to go there at least once in their lives. the "black square thing" is the Kaaba and is in Mecca, not Jerusalem. once you complete the Hajj, you are called Hajji if male and Hajjen if female.

In regards with how to treat them, it really depends on how religious they are. I am not as religious, I dont pray 5 times a day and I dont war the scarf. I shake hands with men and I work closely with men. My husband is very free with women, and not as religious either. If they are very religious they might be uncomfertable being as open infront of you.
But you can always ask questions and I will be happy to answer, sorry I am late replying!

There are clutural differences between where muslims live, but mostly the basics that i discribed are the same.

__________________
We buy things we dont need,
with money we dont have,
in order to impress people
we dont like?
(Ramsey, D)

Thanks Rakshanda!

I was talking to the wife today and I asked her about Eade (I think I may of messed up on the spelling- she is originally from the south and her daughter still has a deep "southern" accent so that is what it sounded like to me)-please correct me if I am wrong. I found it very interesting- and it seems so good willed- KWIM? She told me that his family- all of them- figure out what their net worth, the value of everything in their possesions (homes, vehicles, clothing, etc). Then they take 10% of that total and send the money to where they orignally lived to family members that still live in the area. Those family members, buy cows to be butchered properly and handed out to the needy families in the area, buy clothing for the families, toys for the children and other things. Now that is paying it forward !

I don't have anything to add, but just wanted to say thanks for such a fascinating thread, I'm learning a lot and it's clearing up some confusions I had too

Thanks for the clarity, I always thought Mecca was in Jeresleum. What is the special place in Jereselum for Muslims? there is one isn't there?

In regards to the way women dressed it was a man who told me about it. He was a religious education teacher at the school that I went to. So maybe it was only from his point of view he was single after all .

I didn't think the books were negative on Islam as I thought it was mostly culture and not religion that influenced the things that happened to them. But then again I"m not muslim so I might not have seem some underlying meaning behind it.

I actually wanted to ask you a question Rakshanda is it ok if I PM you?

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"You have to live through the rain before you experience the rainbow"

Ask away!
Jerusalem is an important place to Muslims. it is where Judaism and Christianity came about and all the prophets are considered prophets in Islam too. They are all revered in Islam. Infact, my sons names are Ibrahim (arabic for Abraham) and Yusaf(arabic for Joseph) we named them after the prophets.
I am not 100% sure, but I think the dome of the Rock, where the mosque is with the gold dome, is where Mohammed ascended into heaven.
I agree with the books, they might be cultural, because I have never experienced what they experienced in the books.

__________________
We buy things we dont need,
with money we dont have,
in order to impress people
we dont like?
(Ramsey, D)