You are going to be your child's first teacher. She will model herself on your behavior. She will repeat phrases you say often, she will mimick your gestures and expressions, she will unconsciously absorb your values... she will be looking to YOU for cues about everything. So if you are kind of lukewarm on religion, she will also learn to be that way.

Finding spiritually on her own is a tough order for a child. Many adults are still trying to figure it out, so leaving it all up to a child to decide for herself... that seems kind of crazy to me. You can send her to a church preschool, but nothing will have the impact on her that you will. If you never take her to church or go yourself, what are the chances she will want to go later with friends? If it's not something you value, chances are she won't value it either.

I mention this because every parenting book I've read emphasizes that children value the same things as their parents- they learn from their parents and tend to follow the same behavior. I see this all the time with my own kids. It's also the root of why some of us see ourselves sounding and acting like our parents- they were our models from infancy.

So what you do or don't do will make a huge impact on your daughter. Even if you send her to a church school to be exposed she will still be looking for you to guide her. So think ahead some more here: if you don't believe in the Bible, what will you tell her when she comes home and asks questions? Are the Bible stories true or just made up, like fairy tales? Are her teachers telling the truth about God or are you? It will be very confusing to her... why other kids go to church with their parents but you don't, why her teachers say one thing and then you say another.

You do have time to figure it out, and it's good to be thinking ahead.

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I don't believe in miracles; I depend on them

We don't go to church either. We do believe in God and believe he is everywhere, not just in church. Our kids know a lot for little boys that don't go to church. We say prayers every night before bed. We read bible stories and talk about God and heaven. It's just part of our daily lives. Some of the really deep questions that my kids ask and discuss absolutely set me back sometimes. You will be the best role model for your kids. They will know what you teach them and do what you do. If you make it a priority in your life, then they will too.

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The mighty oak started out as a nut that held its ground.

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Formerly known as Mrs12bfishin

Growing up religion was pushed upon us and consequently I don't go to church now. My children are not baptised, they can make that decision when they are older and if they choose to do so it will have more meaning for them.

I don't believe in organized religion and I cannot say I believe for certain there is a God. I questioned his existence the day I discharged a 9 year old boy to die at home from a brain tumor the same day I discharged a child killing pediphile back to prison-he lived. I also believe in evolution.

I can raise my girls to be good and moral human beings without shoving a certain religion on them. My "church" can be the back yard, the park, or while dropping off food/supplies at a homeless shelter. I will teach them that some people believe in God and that there are many different gods out there that people believe in. If they want to go to church I will take them.

I will not lie to my girls. When they ask I will tell them I don't know if there is a god, if you want to believe that's fine and if you don't that is fine as well. I will expose them to different religions if they want and they can choose.

You can be a moral person without being religious.

You can be a moral person without being religious.[/quote]


and as we have seen many times, you can be religious without being moral person.

allgirls

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allgirls, mom to 3 girls

jnbythesea said it! I am now going through the RCIA to tie up all my loose ends and officially become catholic, though I have been attending mass for many years. (although not religiously!). I have learned alot from these classes including that not attending church is in itself considered a grave sin. I believe that God speaks to us and it is up to us to listen. The fact that you and your dh have been thinking about your child and religion is probably God talking to you. Not only is church a great place to go and worship it is a great family time together. We make it a routine of going to church and then to breakfast after. That way if it does get a little boring for the kids they have breakfast to look forward to. But I would definately take time to find your way back to God so that you can be that model that you want. We stareted taking the kids very young as soon as they slept through the night. So it is what it is supposed to be a part of what you do, like taking a bath or going to the grocery store.(giving God his praise, like a religious thank you note) Although I still am trying to find my way after many years of being lost I think God is pleased I am on the right track.

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"Before I was a Mom I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body." ~Anonymous

I'm having some problems in this area myself. My boys are 9 and 6 and up until this past year we pretty much consistantly went to church. It's such a long story but me and dh decided that the religion that we were raised was pretty messed up. I won't mention the denomination because I don't want to offend anyone. It is supposed to be oh so strict outwardly but inwardly meaning people's attitudes stink to put it lightly. Anyways my sister wants to take my boys with her to her church and we let the boys decide every Sunday morning if they want to go. My oldest wants to go alot but my youngest could take it or leave it. I know alot of the emotional issues that me and dh have now is because of how we've been raised. We used to get depressed often but now we feel better after getting away from the "church". There are times that I freak out thinking that maybe what I am doing is going to send me to a lake of fire. You may ask what I am doing that is so bad. Well I am listening to other music besides christian , wear pants, and let a few cuss words slip. I would love to go to a different church later when me and dh sorts thru over twenty years of brainwashing techniques. Our family would then practically disown us because if your not going to their denomination then you're wrong. I still love God just don't want to be confused any more. That's why were having trouble with our boys going because we don't want them to go thru what we have been thru. It's just hard to figure out what to tell them. My oldest asks alot of questions because we had taught him some of the same things that we were taught growing up was wrong. Now he sees mom and dad doing some of the things that were forbidden such as drinking light beers occasionally. He was so scared that my dh was going to become an alcoholic and that we didn't love God anymore. I had to sit him down and explain that we loved God but didn't want to go to church right now. BTW me and dh has never been drunk. Anyways we went to church for a Christmas program that the boys were in and they were saying how it's the parents place to take their children to church that you have that responsibility towards them. My dh said that was thrown at us because it's a very small church. Then we went to a dinner afterwards and everyone avoided us like the plague. So we pretty much have resolved that we don't want our kids to be judgemental snobs. We may just start having family fun day on Sundays so that will give us something to do and my son won't throw a fit and want to continually go. Of course my dsis won't like it but if you feel something will harm your child you keep them away from it.

Princess 1 - I can surmise what faith you were raised in. Deemom could be me - I don't believe in religion/god any of that. But one thing I can tell you - if you are a believer, there is no one true path. There are many paths. Just like some people respond to aspirin & others to ibuprofen, some people grow more spiritually in different denominations or faiths. No one path is right for everyone.

And music, if anything, is a gift. God would not have given the gift of music if it were not meant to be enjoyed. There is plenty of positive, good, happy music that is not specifically Christian music. Being told by a church that you must only listen to Christian music is nonsense, in my opinion. I can't imagine not listening to the Beatle's "Let It Be" or even something like Elton John's "Candle in the Wind". Beautiful songs. Not Christian songs.

Father-in-law tried that with my brother-in-law, let him wait till he was older to choose his faith. Even though my father-in-law was brought up in church. Well to say my brother-in-law is in a horrible moral state would be minor. He has a religion of me only and no other person matters. He does not care how he treats other people.


I think church is like going to school, it is good for you. Sure, they may reject it later, but as least they are forming a foundation of morals. You know ..do not kill. When you find, a good church you and your family likes. You will find friends that have a moral basis and your kids can find good friends. You can explain to children the parts of that the church believes that you do not. But, like they say ..Do not throw out the baby with the bathwater...Church will have some hypocritics, but you have hypocritics everyone..when you meet people that are not perfect but truly love like Christ said, to, it will make life easier. It is like putting them in a good school environment, it helps them grow. I let my kids know that they come with me to church and what we believe, but I tell them one day, they will have to decide what they believe. I explain the benefits of serving God. You know obeying the ten commandments, really protects you and others. Like I tell my kids..all sin hurts someone, even if it is only you. Cheating...steals from you and others. Lying steals the truth.. I may seem extreme, but maybe I am not saying it clear. I hope you understand. I know going to Church does not make you a Christian, I think it just might make you a little more stable in life. A support system, a group who can help reinfornce good moral lessons that I believe everyone needs. Jesus said..paraphrased..Bring your heavy burden to me.. I will take it..my burden is light

I personally find peace in Jesus.

Try going to church, start reading the bible and find what you believe.

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" A mom who loves her job, who gets paid in smiles, hugs, and kisses. Who accepts and expects payments daily. ":love:

I don't really know where to start. I know that true peace comes from God and I have taught my children that. They are great kids and I'm not just bragging here. Everyone in their school and even in the family has said how well mannered they are. I believe if you don't teach them in the home to be respectable adults than you are not doing your job. I've seen some of the worst kids come out from "christian" homes. Don't get me wrong I am not saying that you shouldn't take your kids to church. If you've found a good one that is helping you to become the person God has intended you to be than that's great. I wish that I could say the same. Me and Dh has been raised in church all of our lives and for the most part what we have gotten from it is hurt. Sure there has been some good things for instance that's where we met each other on church pews. We were very strict and our then pastor didn't even want you to miss church for vacations, family reunions, weddings, and even funerals. We went to church every Sunday morning, Sunday night, Saturday and Tuesday. That doesn't leave much for family time. That pastor was so strict on some things like you wasn't supposed to have internet, T.V.s, and in fact he believed that a wife was supposed to ask the husband about everything and never question her husband. I do believe a man is the head of the home but not the dictator. Anyways to make a long story short right from the beginning of our marriage we had stress. We were running ourself ragged to be at the church an hour a head of time to be in the prayer rooms and we were very active in the church. I was a Sunday school teacher and my husband was a preacher. We was always stressed and couldn't take a vacation unless our pastor approved it. Then a few years in our marriage my Dh told me that the pastor we were sitting under had molested him as a child. Dh said that he had forgiven him because he had apologized since then. Well I was ready to get out of that "church". Different people in the area has been talking about him molesting other boys. The people that go to that church is so brainwashed that they won't get out. We were in the same boat. We've tried going to different churches since then only to be faced with some of the same feelings of trying to please others but not really feeling Jesus in the services. I feel more by listening to T.D. Jakes on T.V. which in the denomination we were in is a big No No. You are not supposed to have T.V. or you're not supposed to listen to someone that is "not on truth" meaning not of the same denomination. If I were ever to find a church outside of the denomination that I was raised in then I would be selling my birthright and there would be no hope for me according to the way I was raised. You see that is what I'm dealing with right now. I don't want my kids to be messed up along the way with judgemental attitudes because I've had them at one time too. I love Jesus and I still pray but I don't see us going to church anywhere anytime soon unless we move away from our families and find one that will help us grow spiritually and not one that will bring us down. I'm for raising children right but that does begin in the home. Some people want to satisfy their conscious by saying they go to church every Sunday but it takes more than that. Like I said I believe if you find a good church than that's great but please don't judge me for not finding one yet.