I work every other weekend and my dh does not do church. When I am working he takes the kids (1st grade, 2nd grade, 3rd grade and 8th grade) to Sunday School. On the weekends I am home I go to church and take those 4 with me because Sunday School is right after church. Lately, my boys have not been wanting to go to church at all. I am wondering if it is worth the battle to make them come with me. We live only a few minutes away, I can run home after church and pick them up for Sunday School. But then again, it is only 1 hour every other week. I am debating whether I should make them come to church with me or not.

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~Happiness is a large family~

That's a tough one.

Growing up my parents made us go. My brother and I would fight it every week and my parents would just simply say to us: "it's only an hour out of your week to spend it with us and to be greatful for waht you have in your life". EVERY Sunday!!!!!

They let us decide when we were in our teens and already confirmed. At that point, I myself missed it and started going back on my own accord.

I think if religion and church and community are important in your family than you need to share those traditions with your kids. I guess you have to ask yourself: What do you want your kids to get out of going to church?

If you are comfortable now with them deciding what they want to do, than go with that. However, because you asked, I would say they are a little too young yet to truly appreciate what church is supposed to be all about. I would continue taking them until they are old enough to understand and then from that point on let them decide. At some point, as they get older (teens) and they decide still it's not for them and they don't feel like they have a place anymore, let them make up their mind as to whether or not they want to continue to go.

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I agree with Christy K. My parents always made us go to church and I know we bellyached--alot. And we went twice on Sundays--am and pm. By having your children go with you, you communicate that church is important. We make our kids do stuff all the time that they don't want to do but is important and/or good for them. They have to go to the doctor and dentist. They have to go to school.

Maybe you can open up a discussion with them. Why don't they like church? Why do they think church might be important? To engage them, maybe they could write a letter to the pastor or something expressing their concerns. To help engage us, I know my parents allowed us to take a pen and paper with us and encouraged us to take notes, draw a picture about what the pastor was talking about, or count how many times the pastor said a word--like love, God, Jesus or something. You could maybe try to make it special for them by putting together a little tote bag for each of them with a Bible, a special notebook (something trendy maybe), and colored pencils or something--oh, and don't for get the church mints! :0)

I agree with this. I would also explore in discussions with them WHAT it is that they don't like about it and if there is something that can be done to change that - either at home or through the church. I think this is a good opportunity too for you to explore the depths of your own faith and decide if this is something that is important enough to possibly have a battle over. For me, it would be. If the older ones don't go, the younger ones probably won't want to either. It's easier to stay home, it's harder to pursue faith. Certainly a good life lesson for them to begin thinking about and discussing with you.

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Better to give your kids the values you have
than the valuables you can't afford.

This was kind of a big question for me not to long ago. I considered joing the church where my kids went to preschool. This is the part that got me, the Sunday school part (for an hour) is right before the church service (another hour). I thought both was a lot for kids and I felt funny sending them to Sunday school and not going to church. I would still like to sent the to the Sunday school, but I wouldn't make them do 2 hours worth, but that's just me....

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The mighty oak started out as a nut that held its ground.

I never thought of church as a drag growing up, it was just something we did and we all went without question. We go to church every Sunday and the kids have never told me that they didn't want to go. I don't know, I think it's important to bring your child up with some sort of faith, that way they can make a decision as to whether or not they want to be a part of it as they get older.

my parents made us go until we were teenagers...and then it was up to us (I think they got the idea from the verse in Proverbs that says "train up a child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it"). For the most part, I went when it was my choice. I've always enjoyed church.

In a perfect world your whole family could go to church every sunday. Your kids wouldn't even ? not going because it was all they new just like any other routine. But I think they are noticing your husband not going and probably are questioning the importance of it, or maybe thinking he may be at home doing something more fun. There is alot to be said about presenting a united front. But that's just my oppinion. I know no matter what manners I use all day when I am home with the kids, if my dh comes home they do what he does. Which is annoying cause he's a guy nough said. lol!

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"Before I was a Mom I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body." ~Anonymous

I hated going to church from a very early age & as soon as possible I started skipping church w/ my sister. Then my mom would send me w/ my niece to make sure I went, but we still skipped. By the time I was in college, I was done with it.

I've had my 80 year old uncle with me this past week & we were talking. He told me that his dad never went to church, but would drive him & his mom & he would have to go. He hated it. He wanted to be in the car reading the paper with his dad. As soon as he was old enough, he stopped going & never looked back. He said he also hated church, and that I take after him (which I personally take as a huge compliment as this uncle means the world to me! ).

For your purposes, I like the idea of trying to engage the kids more in what church means to them. To me, it was just force-fed. I went to the catholic school, lived across from the convent, but I never felt connected. It was just ritual. I think a teenager is old enough to decide for themselves.

I make my son go to church every Sunday. He whines and then afterwards tells me how much he enjoys it. I think that it's my job to teach him the right things to do. In my opinion, church is the right thing to do. I would never send my son to only Sunday school. Just my opinion but I feel like Sunday school is an extension to church, not a replacement. Skip Sunday school and only go to church if 2 hours is too much. I also think that, if you only go to church every other weekend, it's not asking too much for them to go to church with you.

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Alicia (Tree-hugger wannabe)
mom to Shawn, Jake, and Toad
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