Ladies does being a Christian mean I'm a door mat and please feel free to walk all over me? Whenever I try to stick up for myself it either does no good or I end up sounding like I have p.m.s. I have someone who owes me money and I worked for that money and deserve it. How can I get the bum to pay?

I have trouble, too, dealing with people face to face. Sometimes it helps to put it in writing. Maybe just a polite note, saying you'd appreciate getting paid soon.

When my dh left his last job, his employer witheld his final paycheck, and wouldn't take his calls. I wrote a letter, telling him it's just a reminder that he still owed the money, and suggesting he pay before the legal time limit for paying terminated employees expires. We got a check the next day.

No! Being a Christian is not a reason to be a doormat. You deserve what you are owed and just because you're Chrisitian doesn't mean you have to be overly sweet with sugar and honey. Speak firm, without abrasion or contempt to get your point across and be serious and confident.

I have a friend who talks in circles with sugar and honey. Don't speak like her, "If you have the time, can you possibly pay me? I mean, if you're busy that's ok, I can wait." NO! Ask when you can expect it. If there's not definite answer, you tell them when you expect it.

I am not really this way, but it is much easier to say what you think in writing - you can revise it as many times as you want! I think that is a good idea!

I Don't see what Being a Christian has to Do with Being a Door Mat and Not Asking For Money thats Owed to You.

You are a Woman First -
A Human Woman who works For and who spends Money - So Therefore You need money.

If Christianity had anything to Do with Not Needing money owed to one.
Than There Would Be Many Pastors out there Who Wouldn't Be Taking a Salary.

Of course you're not to be a doormat -- but when loaning money out to a friend / relative I don't always expect to get it back.

I don't think that it has anything to do with being a christian, but with confidence. Obviously you want to treat people nicely and rightly so. But you also need to have that confidence that you ARE a strong woman. I think sometimes people over use confidence to "batter" people...you just have to find that happy medium. I think that when you wind up sounding like you have pms it is because you are dealing in feelings, not in facts, and you have to keep that in check.
"you know, I work hard for my money, and out of good grace and friendship ( whatever ) I loaned you it. It is now a tad overdue, and I need to be repayed. I would like to see it in 3 days."
whether the "bum" pays you back or not, it seems like the relationship is a bit severed, so don't worry about feelings at this point!
HTH!!

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married 8 years to a crazy Brit, mommy to a banana, she is 4 and a pineapple who is 11 months, mommy to 3 ~angel~ babies

The older I grow the more earnestly I feel that the few joys of childhood are the best that life has to give. ~Ellen Glasgow
~Childhood is that wonderful time of life when all you need to do to lose weight is take a bath

I applaud your gentle spirit. I totally agree with the previous posters that being a Christian absolutely does not mean being a doormat. I have a tendency to be easily walked over and I have to constantly remind myself of the Matthew 18 Principle. The difficult part for me is often realizing that being a Christian means that I have to point out when I have been wronged. Here are the steps I try to remember (but gosh it is hard):
1. Keep it confidential
2. Keep the circle of people who "assist" you small
3. Be straightforward (the oh-so hard part for me). Don't pad the truth.
4. Be forgiving
5. If your efforts are fruitless, go to an authority figure (whoever this may be in your situation)

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"A Father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families…"
Psalm 68:5-6a

Is this "bum" the guy you were babysitting for? Do you still see him? Tell him that you need the money by a certain date or you will be looking into legal action against him.

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~Happiness is a large family~

Yes the bum is the guy I was babysitting for. On the last day I babysat he handed me his wallet as collateral because he says they messed up his check but I called him and called him and he never returned any of my calls. He has caller i.d. but does not have his voice mail set up. I called his mom thinking maybe he has phone problems but no he just has a lying problem. She told me to use his cell phone he has for work purposes so I called and we started talking and he hung up on me. I called him back and he gave me the song and dance of how they have strict rules at his work and he's give me some money Friday. It's Sunday now and I tried calling both his home and work cell number to no avail. The next step is going to his house. What hurts the most is I considered him a friend not a liar. I went out of my way to watch his kids so he could sleep when he worked crazy hours, when he was sick and just listened to him when he needed someone to talk to. If he would just let down his guard I'm sure he could talk to me. It hurts that he had this plan into place before hand. His mother handles his bills and told me she was wondering how he had the money to go out twice that week. I would never hurt anyone intentionally like this. Sigh.