Ok, I just joined and as part of fixing the mess my family is in I need to say this out loud or write it in this case.

I am a SAHM who had absolutely no credit card debt when I started staying home almost 6 years ago. We now owe $41,000 in credit cards, about $75,000 in student loans, $16,000 on our only car payment and about $148,000 on our home. We have about $45,000 saved in a 401K retirement account so at least we have a start there.

I realize that this mostly happened by us continuing to live like we had two incomes when we did not. I am so overwhelmed and don't really know where to start. I've done an excel spreadsheet of all our debts which I will update monthly as new statements come in and have made a budget to stick with. We have two kids and make about $100,000 a year. DH is an engineer and I am an accountant. (That is another reason I've put this off for so long---how could an accountant let this type of thing happen??????)

On paper we have plenty of money each month to pay all our bills, put $100 in our savings account and $50 to each childs savings account and then there is about $1000 left over. I've estimated with paying $500 extra each month towards credit cards we can be done with them in less than 3 years. All my interest rates are below 10% and our credit is excellent. My goal is to start with the credit cards while making the min pays on the student loans and then just as they are paid off start paying all that $ to the student loans. I can't work as I have a special needs child and taking him to his special ed preschool, speech and OT therapy take more time than I have now. I have started decluttering one room at a time and cleaning out all the excess and am donating some and selling some and the $ will go directly to the debts. My kids are spoiled rotten, and don't need one more thing from me except for me to straighten out this mess NOW! I'm cleaning their rooms this week and scaling them back to what is reasonable in toys/clothes etc.

I've been a long time reader of the forums but just couldn't bring myself to register for all the above reasons so I guess I just need some support. I know many are going to say "holy crap", "You idiot", and much more but I've already said it to myself. Now I just need a pat on the back and then if someone could just offer to stand behind me with their foot ready to kick my behind until I get all this resolved that would be great..........

whew- seems like you are off to a good start and for the record- our budget always seems to "work " on paper - it is sticking to it- but you seem like you are seriouos... this BB helps alot I think!!!
as an accountant i bet you have good things to add here-!!!

I think we could all use an accountant to give us some ideas.
You were brave to come clean and I should let you know that some of us are in worse shape then you are. Welcome.

Thank you so much for saying that. I am also a newbie and have a large amount of credit card debt that I desperately want to make disappear. Our monthly budget is alot tighter though. It felt really good too see someone in a similar situation. Thanks.

No one here is going to think bad of you or slam you. It's a good group that supports each other. We had credit card debt before kids then it got a lot worse when dh went back to school and we had to charge gas and groceries. We are in a black hole of about $35,000 in credit card debt and that's not counting his school loans. My attitude is to just take it day by day and know that we are slowly digging out of this hole. I have learned the hard way and have no intention of sicking further into it.

Glad you decided to register.

Welcome I am so glad you regisered! I looked for a long time before joining to! But this is a great place to get good ideas. I always am interested in how these wonderful ladies save money and use their budgets. I too have a budget that works on paper only. But I am sure if I continue to come here and work on it I will soon have a budget that works!

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Karen

Hmmm that sounds very similar to our scenario. DH is an engineer making 6 figures + and I've been a SAHM for 7.5 years. We recently bought a big house we can't really afford ($600K, we owe $400K) and have about $70K in credit cards. (We did pay off our student loans a few years ago.) Our problem has been fourfold: #1 We underestimated our expenses for the new house #2 We were counting on the housing market to continue climbing... but it has stagnated and dropped. #3 DH thought I might get a p/t job to help with monthly extras... I have not, and don't see how I could ((dh's job has changed, and he now works out of town during the week...)) #4 I spend money as if we live on two incomes.

So, I can't do much about 1,2 or 3, but I'm here on these boards trying to stop #4 from wreaking further havoc on our lives It sounds like your kids are like ours...drowning in toys! I have a hard time parting with things b/c we might have another baby and also because I find educational value in almost everything we have. I try to declutter their things but it's hard. Same with clothing... what kid needs 20 pairs of pants and 25 shirts? I have multiple dressers for each child b/c we have too much clothing.

Just remember each small victory counts, and keep plugging away. I try to read regular doses of books which inspire me to scale back, simplify and not spend. (Have you read Affluenza?? You may really enjoy it. It opened my eyes to many things about society and myself...)

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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Dr. Seuss

i have to reitterate how caring these posters are- i have been lurking for about 2 months and just started posting - i have learned more about saving and not being scared of budgetingn and money in these last 2 months than i ever learned from my parents!!!
a WEALTH of KNowledge here and support!

You have come to the right place. We are here to encourage and support you through this. I know how much easier it is to save money and live frugally when there are lots of other women on these boards living similar lives, trying to do the same thing. Accountability is a wonderful thing. Thanks for being so honest and upfront. It encourages us to do the same and confess when we make our own mistakes.

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No, you're not an idiot!

I applaud your efforts to do something about your situation. If you can stay focused on paying down your debt all year long (and STOP buying stuff) I'm sure you will be able to pull it off. This is a great place to vent and share your successes and talk about your challenges. I hope you come back to give us updates.