Hi there! This is my first post. I have been searching for a place to cry and finally came across this forum. My dh just lost his job. He was a school teacher and he did not get his masters quick enough, so they are letting him go. It was not good on his part and i am so mad at him, but I can't let that bother me now. I need to figure out how we are going to make it. I run an in home daycare. I make around 2,000 per month, but not nearly as much in the summer. It is also a very unpredictable job. I could loose one or more of my daycare kids at the drop of a hat, if they loose a job, or whatever. It took me 3 months to fill up this past fall. My daycare was supposed to pay for food and extra bills, not the house.

My dh was working a p/t job at the mall 3 nights a week. They offered him f/t so that we can have health insurance. This job only pays $10 per hour! He is looking for a new job, but what are we going to do? It could take months for him to find one. We are considering bankruptcy, but even without cc payments our house payment, and utilities alone are going to make it hard to afford food.

If we sold our house and moved into an apartment, than i could not run my daycare. We need my daycare.

I feel so dumb. I should have pressured him more to finish his masters, but it was driving a wedge in our marrage. I have to remind myself, that we are good people. We just have made so many mistakes with money, that I fear we may never get ourselves out of this mess.

Thanks for listening.

I strongly recommend that your husband sign up with several temp agencies. He could get working right away, have the option to purchase medical insurance coverage, and get great job experience outside of the teaching experience he already has. In a few short months, if he is a real go-getter, he can increase his hourly rate by taking increasingly higher paid jobs. AND the best part is most temp jobs are temp-to-hire so he will be able to try out different companies and different types of jobs before he lands himself into another permanent position. If he wants to go back to teaching later, that will be fine. In the meantime he has a family to support.

I do know there are several good professional opportunities out there that the only requirement is that you have a 4-yr college degree - IN ANY DISCIPLINE. Once he starts looking beyond the mall, all sorts of doors will open up for him.

I don't know what your mortgage payment is, however, at $30K per year if it is over $800 a month (less any escrow for taxes and insurance) it will be VERY difficult, but do-able. Do you have other expenses: auto loans, credit card debt? If so, $30K a year may be impossible.

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"Poor people work for their money. Rich people make their money work for them."

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. It may sound easy to say, but don't panic. I've been through this before and my first thought was disaster, but it turned out to be the best thing for us.

I have no idea of your current debt load, but maybe now is the time to call your creditors and tell them. Say that you are trying to be proactive now, while things are difficult, so that you won't let them down. Maybe they can offer a temporary min. payment or cheaper interest.

I agree that once your DH starts to look outside the mall, he will find other opportunities. If he was able to teach, he is a smart man and his skills can be put to use. He may just have to look outside the box and consider other markets/positions that he hasn't in the past.

Don't be mad at DH right now. He is under enough stress and neither of you need tension between the two of you. Support him emotionally, tell him it will all work out and then get to work on a plan.

Let us know how you are making out! You can do it!

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Children Learn What They Live, And Live What They Learn.
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When life throws you a curve ball...it's up to you how you catch it!

i was looking at other people's budget and WOW ours is much different. Our morgage is $1000, and our gas and electric run around $600 per month in the winter. I live in a very old house that is not insulated we keep the heart at 63 and EVERYONE complains about how cold it is when they visit. My daycare kids wear tights under their pants! LOL We are going to try to take this opportunity to apply for a weatherization program. We never qualifed before, because we were always just $200 over. We also have a very high water bill and sewer bill.
My biggest fear is loosing my daycare kids. Last August I had two families with 2 kids each I took care of. One family called me at 7am on a Sunday morning to tell me they had hired a nanny and they would not be needing me any more. The next family (Which I am friends with and still care for off and on) the very next week, the father lost his job and so they were not in need of me. I went from 2,000 to 0 in a week. it was a real eye opener. My job is not something I can depend on.

Apply for all the assistance you can get for right now!!!

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~Happiness is a large family~

What about substitute teaching? I know our school system is desperate for substitutes. Also, does your state have insurance for children? Ours is called sooner care. It was a life saver for us. At 30,000 for 7 people may qualify you for food stamps? It's humbling, but at least you can feed your kids. Are you lisence by the state? I think our state reimburses lunch costs for daycares who are nutrion minded. We did consumer credit counseling for our CC, and it was a life saver when I got laid off. HTH

I'm glad you found us. The women on this board are very supportive and have tons of great ideas to share.

Is it a possibity to downsize to a different house so that your mortgage is smaller and your heating bill isn't so high - somewhere that still allows you to continue with your daycare business?

I agree apply for everything you can and look into subteaching.

Do you have your families sign a contract?? They can't just call you on a Sunday and say you are no longer needed. There should be a 2 week notice or something to that effect, to give you some time to look for new familes while still earning what you are entitled too. You need to protect yourself.

I would also look into sub teaching or even a teacher aide postion, something like that. Anything to keep the money flowing. Can dh not work at all as a teacher or just not at that school? Can he send his resume out to some diffrent places?

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~Missy~Mommy
Meghan7.Samantha6,Cameron4

Back together!! Sept 28th Boston TDCenter!! Woohooooo!

I know exactly where your at...and all I can tell you is that it is not easy! Since we were married , my DH had his own business with his brother, which is fine...they had a construction/drywall/home improvement and did beautiful work...however, they were not business men, and slowly the bills and debt started adding up. I had a pretty secure job, but it didn't pay enough to cover all the bills, food, and a family of 7...so we ended up remortgaging several times, and then times would get tough again and the CC's would start going up again...it was a never-ending battle...every year...more debt and growing kids!

I finally convinced him to look at other options such as moving out of the state and looking for another job...it would be hard on all of us - but something we really needed to do...I was at my job for 10 years and giving up the security of a pay check...luckily, my boss kept me on and I now work from home, telecommunicating to NJ. DH got a great job and we consolidated his business with his brother...we took on half of the debts and his brother took on the rest (we already paid 100's of thousands through remortgaging just to keep our credit from going downhill), which we just took as a loss.

Moving was the best thing for us...financially and as a family, especially our marriage! We didn't have the stress that we did before. Both of us are bringing home a paycheck, we are no longer living paycheck to paycheck, and we a paying down the debt that we accumilated through the business.

Could you consider moving? Somewhere that may benefit the 2 of you, more opportunities that you both could consider? You need to work together on this and don't cause each other any more stress...it will only tear you apart...if we would have stayed in the situation another 6 months...I would have been filing for divorce...I just couldn't take it anymore and his attitude towards it all (it goes a lot further than what is here, but it is all financial related).

Don't give up...just see if you can make different choices and change the situation, there is always a solution...make some phone calls!!!

Good luck to you!!! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!

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"Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake!" - ANONYMOUS