Please help me!! I am daily trying to figure out a way to be a SAHM. I have an 11-month old daughter and am working 30 hours a week, along with an hour commute each day. My husband is a teacher and doesn't make great money, plus is working on his masters degree (which is an expense). My goal is to be a SAHM by the next time we have another baby (which we are planning on in about a year). For any one who has gone through this before, please give me any tips and thoughts on how to go about this without living in poverty. Our biggest expense right now is our mortgage payment
($940/mo) and our home is not big or new. We have one car payment ($230), about $5000 in credit card debt (have a plan in action for that), student loans, and that's about it. Any help would be wonderful!

I think a plan of action would be to crunch the number to see exactly how much you need to live on each month. Once you have this number, you need to start actually living on that now to see if it can be done. Say you need $2,000 to be able to live (mortgage, cars, bills, etc.) Apply anything above that that you are able to earn right now to your credit card debt.

While staying home is a great goal, I'd never advise anyone to accrue debt to do it. For some, staying home is only a possibility if they can think of something to do to supplement their income.

I'm actually in a similar situation only my kids are a bit older. I've been a working mom all their lives and it stinks but we think we are finally at a place in our lives where I can finally quit later this year.

One thing people have told me and I wish I would have done from the beginning of our marriage - pre-kids is to live only on his income and save all of mine or use mine only on big purchases - otherwords, don't depend on the second income. Then, when you have the kids you are set. Only we didn't do that and I guess it's too late for you to do too. But, if you start that now and pay off the big debts with your check then hopefully soon you will be able to quit too.

I wish you losts of luck, I know how you feel, it's soooo hard to be away from them for such a long time and you feel like you're missing everything. Keep your chin up and if you believe in God, pray about it a lot and maybe he'll open a door for you and your family that you'll be able to quit! :hugs:

You debts are almost exactly the same as mine are and I am a sahm. My dh brings home about $40K (minus insurance over $7,500 per yr) from is day time job (optician) and probably $15k - $18k from his band. I won't lie, it's not always easy and there isn't a money to work on savings right now, but we feel that it is important for me to be home.

The first thing I did was to figure out exactly how much money it was costing me to go to work. When I left my job, I was making $22,000 (w/ benefits paid for). But the commute was long (add up gas/auto repairs), I live in NY it had to be 4 wheel drive and used a lot of gas. I worked in an executive office (add in clothing expenses and lunches). You have a child, so add in day care costs. When I finished my math, I was using 3/4 of my pay to work at my job. That didn't make sense. Then because I got home late we would often order out, there wasn't a lot of time for planning meals and shopping sales, more expense. Honestly, the only part that still hurts us at all, is that health insurance that we have to come up with. We live differently now, but nice different. Our entertainment is often things we can do at home together. We don't order out or go to restaurants very often, but we make things special here by lighting candles during dinner or making our own pizzas. There are tons of money savings tips on this board, my biggest one is plant a garden, it will save you tons in the veggie department all summer and into fall.

You are lucky, you have time to plan. Maybe you could start putting some money away in your savings now, in case something comes up after you leave your job.

I agree that you first need to find out how much you need to live on each month. Take into account that some bills may be a bit higher such as utilities and groceries since you'll be home full time. You may also want to start a savings account while you both are still working for emergency funds.

Good luck and I hope it works out for you!

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~ Jessica

If you haven't already, I recommend reading a book called "The Tightwad Gazette". The first article in the book is a very inspirational story of how the author went from being deep in debt to being a SAHM, buying her dream house, and having a large family which is thriving.

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"I've been rich and I've been poor but independently wealthy is where it is at."

Thanks for all of your advice ladies!! These are great tips and words of encouragement. I will have to go to the library tonight and see if I can find The Tightwad Gazette. It sounds like just what I'm looking for. I have also considered watching a couple of kids when I do stay at home to supplement some income. Is anyone else doing this? The only problem I see with that is not being able to come and go as I please, but I guess that is a sacrifice I may have to make if I want to stay at home.

What treehugger said =-) She hit the nail on the head. I wish more work-out-of the-home moms would realize this. So many kids would be better off.

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I'd start Feb 1st by keeping track of everything- you and Dh salaries, bills, as well as all the little extras - lunch out, dry cleaning, gifts for co-workers, travel time and gas expenses and see where the difference is between what you spend and Dh earns. Then I'd begin in March trying to live on only his salary for everything so you can see if its possible and if not where can you make cuts- cable, dinners out, cell phones, etc.

You can live on 1 salary, but you have to decide where your priorities are (unless you are fortunate enough to be independently wealthy) If new clothes, furniture, frequent dinners out, new cars, etc are importan than it becomes harder to live on one salary. With frugal living, couponing, bargain shopping and living off a set budget you can do it- it may be tough at times, but IMO it is worth it.

Good luck!

List all your monthly expenses and sit down together to decide what you can get rid of. Can you cut back or get rid of cable all together? How about getting rid of the cell phone if you have one?

Food budget is usually the easiest to cut. Stop eating out and buying any convenience food. Make as much as you can from scratch. Look at places like Aldi's, Save-a-lot, and angelfood ministries.

Use the library for free entertainment.

My motto on clothes is never pay full price--shop clearance, Goodwill, consignment, and garage sales.

Ask yourself when you go shopping: Do I really have to have this? Do I have something at home that is similar? Can I find it cheaper.