I'm probably an oddball case, too. I never intended to be a SAHM. I had a professional job that I loved! But the day after I told my employer I was pregnant, I was let go. My DH convinced me to try being a SAHM since no one was probably going to hire a pregnant research chemist anyway. Plus, we'd probably have to move away from my parents to find a comparable career. I reluctantly agreed to give it one year. Well . . . I loved it! Now, I can't imagine it any other way!

At the time, I was devstated by the loss of my job and maternity health insurance. But, it turned out to be one of God's blessings in disguise!

Anyways, I had no intentions of being a SAHM and don't know if I ever would have considered it, if it hadn't been for our situation at the time. But, I'm glad things turned out the way they did!

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Homeschooling Mom to Daniel (12 Years), Andrew (9 Years), Stephen (7 Years) and Emily (3 Years)

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Before we even got married, our plan was for me to stay home even though I earned more than dh. It took longer to get pregnant than we thought, so we had some time to build a little more savings and pay off some things.
It was important to us that our child (or someday, children) have a parent's care and attention all day. After all, for even the best child care workers, watching someone else's kid is still a job, not necessarily a labor of love. Besides, we waited so long to become parents that I didn't want to miss anything.

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~Jeweled

I had no intentions on being a SAHM either. I liked my job, was paid quite well, had super-flexible hours - in fact worked 7:30-2:30 and was able to leave when I needed to do something with the kids. The benefits were wonderful. Then the co. decided to move to AZ and close down the office here. I took the package and been home ever since. By time that time came, I was burnt out and figured I'd give SAH a shot....that was at the end of 2001.

I choose to be home with my kids. We have debated my going to work, and it just isn't right for our family. We just can't see doing it another way. It is what works best for us.

When I had my first two children, my dh (not dear) at the time and I had "seperate schedules" so they were not in daycare and we both we able to keep our jobs. Which was nice because we were young and needed the money.

Now, with my dh (very dear) now and having two older children and a baby, it just makes sense to stay home, plus I love being with the baby. I was very reluctant at first, because I went back to work with the first two and had the best of both worlds. I have cried on many occasions,because I crave that adult interaction, or working relationships. But I have started a "party business" and I get out one night a week and I get to talk with adults, which is very nice. Also, we moved in the middle of my pregnancy, and I didn't think anyone would hire a pregant woman, so here I am one year later, and finally getting used to the idea of staying home!!

So, to answer the question, NO it didn't have anything to do with the cost of daycare.

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I've grown certain that the root of all fear is that we've been forced to deny who we are. ~ Frances Moore Lappe

For me it is a few things, but not for the reasons you stated. #1, I want to be home with ds and I want to be the one who takes care of his needs. I can always go back to work later, I can't get these years back!!

#2, I don't think putting ds in day care would provide the kind of care I am looking for, for him. I think he needs to be 'off' sometimes, where he doesn't have to interact with a whole group of others the whole day long. This to ME would be overwhelming and I don't expect it of him.

#3, Which leads us to home daycares. I know a lot of people do home daycare and do a great job of it, and this is not in any way directed at them. But I'm afraid of the sceanario of putting kids in front of the tv as a babysitter, not screening what he watches, being around a bunch of sick kids because the other parents either didn't know their kid was sick, or didn't care, or somewhere in between. Ds goes to montessori and I don't want anyone else driving him, that would bother me.

#4, If I had family to watch ds for a short period of time and they interacted great with him, I might consider it. But I'd never go full time. Part time a few hours a day, maybe. As it is, I don't, and won't in the future, so it is a moot point.

#5, I have no desire to do the rat race of the office plus running home, scrambling to get the family fed, trying to give ds one one one time, etc. To me my desire to work is not greater than my desire to avoid this whole sceanario. If in the future it becomes absolutely necessary (and I think we'd move before that) than I would. But right now, for me, in my mind it's not even an option.

I never considered not being a SAHM. I couldn't imagine giving my babies to someone else every day.

There were lots of reasons to stay home:

*once I have children it's not about just me anymore, what would my baby want
*I worked in several daycares with cameras and you would be suprised how these babies are treated once you leave.
*If I did work my whole income would go towards childcare
*I wanted to get to know my children and them know me.
*I think one on one attention is so important when little, not having to fight for attention
*I think of school and daycare as work for kids, I know how stressful work is so I wanted to put that off awhile, once they start you honestly don't get your next break till retirement.
*I wanted to be the one to raise them my way.
*This was my dream job
I could go on and on....

There was only a couple reasons I could think of to work:
*bring in extra money so we could have all the extras
*adult company
*so I wouldn't lose me

I think I can accomplish tose things other ways! JMO!

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"Before I was a Mom I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body." ~Anonymous

This is a good question.

For us, it happened as a result of a number of different things.

1) I did go back to work for a period of time after the kids were born but we had a few bad experiences with caregivers. - Kids weren't picked up once from somewhere and I couldn't find them for 2 hours - the most stressful 2 hours of my life, diapers not changed all day a couple of times, etc.

2) I personally felt a tremendous amount of guilt being away from them. I'm a worry wart. I could not concentrate on my work because I couldn't get my mind off the kids.

3) My dh is a full time student and works so he was hardly ever at home. He also travels a lot for work and I found that being a working parent and a single mom was causing way too much resentment in my life.

4) When I did the math, paying for two kids in daycare, the extra car we were going to need, the work clothes, we would just break even. All that stress for no money. I know Moms that need to work to keep sane even if they don't end up making much, but for me, staying at home made my life so much more simple.

I do take on odd jobs like baby-sitting when other people's baby-sitters get sick or can't do it. I also work for a non-profit for a few hours a week from home. But for the most part I'm a SAHM, and I really like that.

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When I stayed home the first time I was a new 19 yo mother with very little experience in the world, I did have a good job as a legal secretary but I had NO Idea who I could get to take care of my baby. I didn't want to take her to daycare but I didn't know anyone trustworthy that I could leave her with. My dad had offered my dh a job and small house we could live in rent free for the first year. When dd was 1 1/2 I went back to the attorney's because they asked and I had a babysitter. Then I put her in daycare and went to work somewhere else full time. I was miserable. So after almost two years and completely missing all that time with my dd I quit and stayed home. We decided to have another baby (she's 3 now) and I've been home ever since. I love it. I worry about going back to work but I think I'll wait till my 3 yo is in full time preschool to get a part time job. I regret the time I did work because to me it was a waste of precious time I could have spent with my dd.

I edited to add: I do take care of my two nieces and a little boy after school for a little extra money too.

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