I so know how you ladies feel..when I got remarried 7 years ago, I worked 40+ hours per week, took a 3 week leave when our daughter was born, last year when the company I worked for was doing some major changes I decided not to change with them & thought I needed to be at home, with six girls it seemed logical but daily he would question me on what I did that day as he is walking in the bedroom & laying in bed & having me bring him supper in bed and all the while telling everyone I was not holding up my end (I have 5 more girls from a previous marriage & do recieve child support) and always told everyone that all I do now is lay around..GOOD GRIEF!! I had only been at home for 3 weeks & he left stating he didnt like the money crunch I had put us in because he couldnt go out w/his buddies twice a week. Well the divorce is almost final & am back to work, my oldest is 17, I have always worked & even just being home for 4 weeks taught me what I missed out on. We all know that STAM's work very hard, You ladies are on the right track!! Stick to your guns, You will eventually get the credit you so deserve!!

Sometimes my Dh says things that make it sound like I will be going to work after our youngest is in kindergarten. WRONG! I have plans for that time! I am going to take some classes at our local com. college and do things at the boys' school, excercise, learn a new skill/craft...who knows! I DO know that this family falls apart when this Mom works. We have tried it and it's not worth it! The kids need me sometimes during the day at school, sickness, dinner on the table...the list goes on and on!

My hubby feels the same way, but would like me to find something to bring in a little extra income. I do ebay on a regular basis and have talked about trying it out full time once the kids are in school. You really have to stock up at sales and stuff, but I may give it a try. I have also seen something on here were you can work at home. He is very supportive of any of this so I will be available for the kiddos.

My husband does not want me to go back to work, ever so I get tons of support from him. BUt I do empathize with you about having to prove yourself. I have been the only SAHM in our neighborhood since we first bought our home here. (there is ONE other mother who just quit teaching elementry school to stay home with her new baby) I always feel like less of a 'worker' simply because I dont work outside the home and bring in an additional income. But I promise you I work harder and longer hours for FAR more demanding people now than I ever did working in an office. All of my friends work. They have never said to me 'what do you do all day', but I have heard lots of comments like 'there is no way in the world I could stay at home with my kids-I would go nuts! Or I would get too bored!' I mean come on. My kids drive me nuts too! I dont have time to get bored. There is always something to do as I am sure y ou know. Hang in there. Stick with what you believe. Dont you dare worry about proving yourself. You are doing that everyday with your kids being the ultimate judge.

It is more work that's for sure. I work full-time and when I'm at work I do far less than what I do when I have days off! It's not about being lazy and not wanting to work because if that was the case I would stay at work and not be quitting to be a SAHM! I tell my hubby this daily.

I hear this all the time too. And the other comment I get is, "It must be nice. I'd stay at home too if we could afford it." That one makes my blood boil when it comes from someone who clearly could afford to just live on one of their salaries. :furious:

The last time someone said it to me, I uncharacteristically lost my temper and said, "You could stay home too if you really wanted to. If you moved into a smaller house, sold one of your cars, stopped paying for daycare, and stopped buying so much stuff, you could stay at home!", I said, "We make 30,000 a year between us, we have one car, we live in a small house. This life does not come without sacrifices but it's a choice we've made for our family. If you really want it, do something about it!" Her response, "Well, it's just not right that my kids should have to share a room, and they need so much stuff. Actually we're thinking about buying a bigger house!" Grrr.

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I think if I woke up one morning and said I wanted to go back to work full time DH would be THRILLED. That is until he saw the cost of daycare for three kids under the age of 4.

DH is supportive, but does make comments sometimes...

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“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”

Okay, I may get scolded for this, but I want to go back to work. Not full time, but maybe 3 days a week like 9-2. I want to be able to put the kids on the bus or take them to school and be there after. I'm working from home now, and financially trying to get ahead, but for me to go back to work it's just to fund my retirement. I do enjoy what I'm doing and love being home with the kids, but I also want to find a good balance for me, and I think that's it. I am taking a full year off, after Kelsey & Thom are both in school, however that's another 2-3 years, so alot can change. However, no way in HE** will I go back to work out of the home now and put these kids in daycare. It's just not for me.

Being a SAHM is a hard job. Just leave it to your husband one day, and you'll see most can't handle it. I have no regrets being home almost 4 years now. I have more people saying to me that I need to go back, I'm wasting myself as a SAHM, or that I would get bored.

It's funny, because I think in today's society it's all about money and what you have. Somewhere we lose the value of family. And it you don't have a good foundation for family, then what amount pf money is enough. I understand some parents have to work or do enjoy it, but don't force anyone to do anything they don't want too or look down on someone that chooses to be a SAHM.

ALthough I am not a stay at home mom I would love to be when we have kids. We are good friends with this couple and sometimes they are in tight money situations, the guy works with dh so I know how sporadic paychecks are. Well my SIL and a friend of hers were sitting around talking about them and how "well heaven forbid she should have to get up and get a job" Excuse me? She has 2 kids, a 4 year old and a 5 month old and is 4 months pregnant. Get a job? When? This made me especially mad b/c my SIL has 3 kids, no source of income AT ALL, (everyone takes care of her) and the friend works but doesn't have any kids. Who are they to criticize her life?

My mother and her sister get into this fight all the time. My mom has stayed home ever since my little sister was very young (and most of the time while I was growing up). My aunt is divorced 3 times (not a judgement just a fact) and works full time. My aunt always makes remarks about "what does she do all day" especially now that my sis is 17. She does a ton.

But then again my mom made the comment to me the other day when I complained about the house not being clean and being tired, that "now I should understand how she feels". I'm not saying she doesn't do a lot b/c i know she does, but I do all of that on top of working 40 hours a week. She likes to tell me that I'm just not using my time effectively. Excuse me? That is what a lot of people don't understand. I do all the cleaning and cooking and everything in addition to a full time job. How about some love over here. I drive an hour to work everyday, use my lunch hour to run any errands that need to be done, drive an hour home, start dinner, clean house, eat dinner, clean up kitchen, etc etc. If there is really some time I'm not using effectively, please point it out to me.

My DH has hinted that I would go back to work when our son is in school, but I told him we would cross that bridge when we came to it. Thankfully he is seeing the benefit of having me home and we haven't been this happy....ever.
He works from home so he sees what I do daily, and every once and a while I mention that I feel like I don't get much done. He knows I do though because he doesn't have to do any "house" work at all now, except on garbage night. Clothes are washed, house is cleaned, great meals on the table etc. etc.
I do look at our new arrangement with me being home as a job, in the way that if I am not physically working on something, I'm surfing the net to learn more ways of being frugal, getting new ideas and generally learning to do more with less. That's the education part of my day!
I know though that one day when we said "if we need to have you go back to work" (yadda yadda) and my response was "boy, how your life is going to change"! He would have to get DS up, dressed, fed and to the sitters before he started work, have to start house work again etc. etc. The conversation was very short and I'm still a very happy, contented SAHM. As Dr. Phil says: IF Mamma ain't happy, then NO ONE is happy! This mamma is thrilled.

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