Husband Allowance - Page 2

littlelizard · 02-01-2007, 04:28 PM

This is going to sound horrible. I have no idea how much Dh spends in a week but I know it is a lot. He keeps his check and pays the bills. I see nothing, pretty much. Whatever he does with the rest....??? I pay a large chunk of the bills too which goes unacknowledged. I have been hounding him to discuss $, where it is going, etc. So if we can't talk about $ then I can't imagine putting him on allowance.

allgirls · 02-02-2007, 11:46 AM

could you ask him to track where his money goes so the you of you could figure out where to put extra money. he may just realize he is overspending all on his own. I started to buy lunch at work just like mu dh and man was he surprised how much money was going to lunch/dinner(for me). he started leaving boxes at snacks at work instead of going to vending machines. My dh has a thing with money that sounds a little like yur dh. Not having money is a control thing. he feels like his is poor, which dh grew up being poor, and doesn't like that feeling. I told him I grew up poorer(is that a word) than him. we just didn't associate it as a bad thing like his family.

allgirls

Kathryn · 02-02-2007, 12:35 PM

We have an agreement that if either one of us wants to buy something that is more than $100, we have to check with the other person first.

We have discussed the allowance idea. We were thinking we could do $20 a week for books, lunches with friends, coffee out, clothes we don't really 'need', etc. We tried it for the first time this week. He put his in his book fund (he loves rare and out of print books). Mine is still sitting in my wallet.

$160 seems like a lot to spend on misc stuff every month ... I'm curious to see what is normal out there.

Jared&Maggie'smom · 02-02-2007, 12:50 PM

When you Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace you are taught to tell your money where to go - "this is going for groceries, house, utilities etc etc..". My DH gets no allowance. Yes he goes out to lunch at times but that comes out of OUR eating out budget.

Try having him get 2 liters and keep it at work to cut down on running to get pop - 2 liters are so much cheaper.

lvr4jbns · 02-02-2007, 01:09 PM

A few years back we were seriously in debt! We sat down and took a good hard look at our spending habits and financial future. ((Thankfully this is not our situation now.)) Anyhow, we decided even back then we need "fun" money for each of us. This is no questions asked money. My dh works very hard (as I'm sure everyones dh does) and I work very hard as a sahm (as all sahm do) so we thought this would help us to feel less deprived. It is much more now than it was then, we reevaluate every six month. Sometimes I think it's best if I make my dh think it's "his" idea. Maybe you could sit down with him, look at your finances, what he spends and what you spend then come up with an amount that you both get no questions asked. If he knows it will reduce conflict and stress in your marriage, maybe he would come on board. I bet you could find a way to make him think it's his idea. Sometimes we dig our heels in so far we can't give in, it would be admitting we may have been wrong. If it's his idea he's not wrong, when it works (he knows it's a good idea) you can't say I told you so and he can take the credit. You just sit back, smile and tell him how brilliant he is. It sounds conniving, but you both get what you want. Everyone wins. This is 21 years of love and happiness at work.

Kathryn · 02-02-2007, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lvr4jbns

Sometimes I think it's best if I make my dh think it's "his" idea.
... If it's his idea he's not wrong, when it works (he knows it's a good idea) you can't say I told you so and he can take the credit. You just sit back, smile and tell him how brilliant he is.

This is so true. Great wisdom. Thanks. Let's just home our dh's don't read this thread now. :D

momof4kiddos · 02-02-2007, 06:23 PM

that's funny, that's the whole reason I joined the forums! My husbands the breadwinner in the family, and i'm the one who does all the finances, so I know the 'Big Picture'. We were soooo broke yesterday, and he was complaining, but since he got paid this morning, he's already planning on how to spend his check! Since i'll be at a sleepover with two kids, he had already planned on buying takeout pizza for him & the other 3 kids. I had to remind him that we had stuff to make sub sandwiches. And since i'm working tomorrow morning, he had planned on buying donuts for breakfast. He usually spends at the minimum $18 on donuts, donut holes, pigs in a blanket & such for him & 5 kids... I work p/t making $6.50 an hour. So, the 3.5 hours I'm working tomorrow is really just for donuts... even though we have eggs & waffles & cereal for breakfast... I'm like... HELLO, wake the H*LL up!

n my soapbox:

TracyB · 02-02-2007, 07:40 PM

no....hubby doesn't blow money....he only buys coffee in the mornings

stxmom · 02-02-2007, 08:50 PM

My DH doesn't exactly have an allowance but we did open a seperate checking account for him, he gets a daily per deim amount when he is working, I deposit that check in his account. He has never spent more than what is in his account and we've done this for more than 5 years. It works great for us.

newlywed0610 · 02-02-2007, 08:59 PM

Right now, neither one of us has an allowance. Our finances are still pretty screwed up, and we're struggling to make it from paycheck to paycheck (which is every 2 weeks). In fact, this month we're not making it to the next paycheck, so we can't even think about things like going out to eat or buying a soda from a gas station. When we get things under control (whenever that might be!!!), then we've agreed to each have an allowance to spend however we want.