Dont be jealous!

I dont think they have too much ,they probably have so many things they want to spend it on but not enough money to do it all so they cant decide what to do.

believe me, I really think you need to do something fun with your money for once!

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~Happiness is a large family~

This is how we get. More DH than me. He always worries about money and he lets it stress him out.

We used to fight about money because I'm a spender and he's a saver, so as a result, our savings account always hovered at 1k. This was his minimum in case of emergency but anything over that I tried to (and did) claim for new furniture or other big purchases. I'm glad he didn't let me touch the emergency savings for fun things, but feel like I have been so silly with money.

Anyway, now that we have the same goals, we don't fight about money at all anymore. Dh actually just pointed that out to me last night, and I must admit, it's been nice!

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~Vicki~
Mama to Hailey, 4 and Ella, 2

Haha, DH and I are doing the same thing... fighting over money only when a big amount comes in. In the Fall we will be getting a very, very large bonus. DH wants to buy a new car..... (unhhhhmmm... NO!) and I want to save some and pay off some bills (Obviously!!) and this is the only time we really fight over the money... but I will probably get my way I have to say

Hubby solved this problem long ago - I'm in charge of the money. He figures if I say we can afford it, then we can afford it. As far as a windfall is concerned, he rarely even knows if one happens. He is that hands-off about our money.

I sincerely dislike that I have that much responsibility. I would love if he took up some of the slack sometimes.

So, other than when he gets carried away with using the credit cards, we hardly ever TALK about money, much less fight about it.

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"Poor people work for their money. Rich people make their money work for them."

Kathryn, it is great you have these goals for yourself, believe me, I am into goals, but it sounds like you have some priority and, well, for lack of a better word, obsession issues. We all worry about money, having it, not having it, what to do with it, what happens in the future, are we doing the right thing, etc. It is how we DEAL with these issues that is important.

I hope you don't take this wrong, but a lot of your posts recently have been, well, sort of over the top with an obsession with money. It is great you have a lot going towards retirement, but then you turn around in another post and complain about your mortgage bringing your family down. Well, maybe your priorities need to be reassessed. Also, I have noticed than when you discuss your goals, your financial goals are always listed first - above spiritual, physical, relationship, etc. Maybe you need to look at how you feel about money and savings. It also sounds like it is affecting your relationships with your husband and your children. That could lead to some MAJOR problems later in life that you can avoid if you change your thinking and presentation on the importance of money to those you love. JMO

I am not saying this to hurt you, though I can see how it can be hurtful. I just feel like it needs to be said. I am trying to say it in a helpful, constructive way. I am saying this because I used to be like you a bit and admit to being addicted to saving. When I started staying at home, I was so concerned with having enough money that it consumed me. I realized that it was affecting my relationship with my husband. He wanted to save, but he also needs to have a little freedom with money, too. He is not an extravagant person at all so he is not out wasting money. (Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with your husband getting an electric guitar if he is into playing, not just thinking of taking up the instrument and you can still feed your family.)

It took my sponge surgery to make me realize that all the savings in the world is not going to insure that I will even be here for retirement, my children's college, etc. I am not saying you should not plan and have goals, but you also need to LIVE a little. Life is short and you never know when your time will be up. I thought it was really sad that you felt guilty about going out to dinner for your birthday so you didn't go. Go to Taco Bell for $10, for goodness sake, but do something FUN! Your time with your husband and your children could all be gone tomorrow. Or your children could be left with all the money in the world, but if they don't have memories, it would mean nothing. Nobody knows when their time is up! (I am not saying that you need fancy family vacations for memories or anything, some of the best are free, but if your children see you obsessing about money, that is what they will remember.)

The main thing I have learned through my journey with my attempts at controlling money is that God will provide for you. It may not always be in the way or the amounts you want, but I have learned to trust him (most of the time, I still have issues that I work on) and he has always given us what we need and sometimes more.

Peace and contentment (the opposite of worry)!

Wow. Thanks Claire. I'm not offended at all. Sometimes it takes a friend (even a cyber friend) to point something out in your life that you really need to hear. I'm glad you wrote what you did. I'm going to reflect on it really seriously. I'm going to take a few days and really think about this. Thanks for being willing to say it gently.

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Wonderful post, Claire! And I think you said it with genuine concern, which makes a big difference than when someone 'attacks' someone..

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(((Kathryn)))

Could you perhaps use some for fun, and some for something practical??

All of Dh's tax return goes into his student loan... and mine (which is only about $400-500) i'm using $200 of it for "practical" *new carseat & stroller for baby that's due in 1 1/2 mos. :love: and we're splitting the other half for whatever our little hearts desire.. lol!

Claire, you said some pretty eye-opening things that I could relate to also. I'm not totally obsessed with saving money --I could be considered a good spender. And I agree that we should use money to live and have fun sometimes.
My husband and I don't fight over money--we avoid talking about it. I'm frugal, he spends.
It causes me stress but I don"t say anything. My fault, I know. I was making good money when we got married but now that I don't work, I feel like I don't have much say in what to do with "our" money. He went out and bought a $3000 plasma TV (choke!) which he took out of our joint savings. What did I do? I told him that I was moving a bulk of our money into a CD--I didn't tell him that it's bec I don't want him taking anymore money out.
I just told him that the CD earned a higher interest rate.

Fighting over money might be better than not talking about it at all.