I live in an area where TONS of people make more than we do, but I could never imagine being driven to try to keep up with them!

[quote=Kimberley]a friend of mine is currently over 95,000 in debt with nothing to show for it, and planning a 20,000 wedding.

Wow how does she even afford the monthly payments. It is so scary that It could probably happen to anyone if your not careful at keep track of your spending.

This article really struck a cord w/me. My EH was really into keeping up w/his Rotary buddies & local society up & comers. I hated it! When we would attend their parties & visited their "gated" community homes I saw the envy in my EH's eyes but I had no interest in this life. Unfortunately my EH did. After our divorce he quickly remarried his society driven GF, they had a huge wedding, spent a two week honeymoon in Italy, two new cars, and purchased a $300K plus house in a gated community. Appearance is everything to them. Very sad indeed. I on the other hand live in a very modest house and have no interest in this life style.

__________________
Me Mom
DS Matthew
DS Patrick
Family Pugs Disney & Parker
Completed the Disneyland Half Marathon 09/03/07.

A few years ago........this was my husband and I a few years ago. We had so much less income than what we have now. I had 13 credit cards. Over half were store cards. I thought I deserved them, since I had two kids with special needs; I thought it was my right. New cars off the showroom floor and I was a stay at home Mom. Now with much more income.......we have used cars off of a "used car lot." One paid for, and the other will be paid for in three months. Student loans (after going back to college a few years ago,) close to being paid for. We don't starve. We don't eat out though. Maybe McDonald's for the kids. My one son had two years where he couldn't eat by mouth, so it is a real treat for him. My Mom usually buys it. Besides that though, we have done it on our on. I still stay at home. And my husband has a much better job. Our income is much higher. We use NO credit. We pay cash for everything. We are rebuilding our credit still years later. Slowly paying things off. We never filed bankruptcy. We do not own a house any longer. We have a goal of two more years to do so. And we will. Creditors don't call. I can answer my phone. I don't stay up at night crying and scared of how to pay from one card to another. I feel that my husbands success has come from the fact that we have worked hard and God has blessed us. And he will continue to do so. We may deal with health issues with our children and myself, but our needs are met. We have insurance, food, shelther (may not be a huge home, but a nice home that I am very proud that my kids can call home for now,) and a plan. I pray we never again become that family that has to stay up with the "jones."

When we bought our house in our suburban neighborhood seven years ago we paid $145,000 for it. Shortly after we bought it a new builder aquired all the remaining land and built homes from the $450,000+ price range. It is hard to be in this position but we don't try to keep up with the neighbors. My neighbors would like to buy my home so they will have a "guest house". I will tell you that it is very difficult to raise kids in this type of situation because quite honestly children of the neighborhood have been GIVEN everything, have no respect for their parents, no responsibilities etc. My kids are the opposite. We make our children earn things and help around the house and say no more often to "yes". My daughter is in girl scouts because I believe it is for character building and will help make her a stronger girl. But these kids are extremely cruel in nature. You are judged daily by what clothes you wear, your shoes, what kind of car picks you up in carpool, where you went on spring break and if you don't fit it they let you know it and make sure to not include you at all. We have considered moving but it is a catch-22 for us. We want the great schools that we have because we know that the kids will get a great education at these schools. My ds who is 3 is a special needs child and our schools provide early childhood preschool at no cost and he gets all his speech and other therapies their five days a week for no cost. We do have a lot of debt but its not from keeping up but rather continuing to live like we had two incomes when I quite to stay home. Slowly we are digging out and don't use cards anymore at all. I just keep telling myself that it will be a character building experience for my kids, they will find true friends and come out of all of it with a sense of responsiblity and pride in themselves that none of their classmates are going to have. But, all that said, I do worry, daily about what effect all this is having on my kids.