I honestly don't think I know more than 'maybe' one family that is keeping up with the Jones's. I mean, in our area, yes the homes are large and a lot of people (we don't) have SUV's (there are a lot of Hummer's around here, go figure Oh not in our development either but the general area) but a lot of people have relocated or have professions that bring in a higher wage. Most of the moms do not work. Yet again, most of the moms I talk to dress well, go on vacations, but just about everyone I know makes no bones about the fact that they run to discount stores, aren't finishing their basement this year because their taxes went up, and the guys alert each other when house stuff is on sale so we can benefit from the sales!

It seems we all go to Costco, tell each other about the great deals we find, etc., etc. The only neighbor who seems a little 'big for her britches' (who also has the largest house on the street, definitely NOT a position I'd want to be in selling-wise), well, we don't say much but we all think it's a 'little sad' she seems to spend more money on things we'd rather not.

Where ARE all these "Joneses"? Can it be that someone you might perceive as a "Jones" really Might have the means to live as they do? I Love this forum, but sometimes think that anyone that is 'doing OK' and maybe has some extras is automatically labeled as someone who is just trying to impress their crowd. I just don't find this to be true in the people I know! I don't mean any offense, sometimes I just get a little discouraged.

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I know what you mean Stormy.

When we moved from a major metro city, to where we are now, we were fortunate to buy in a part of town that often gets labelled as snobby or where the "rich" people live. We were able to do this because we played the housing market in our old city and profited for our work. We also liked the area so that is why we decided to live here.

We put down a large down payment and stuck to what we knew we could afford. We have 2 cars that are under 5 years old, but also worked hard to pay them off. We don't have credit card bills anymore, and make no bones about living a frugal lifestyle in many aspects of our life.

Our neighbours are terrific and from what I can tell, definitely are NOT the Jones'. They are wonderful, caring people who work hard for what they have. I don't like the fact that some people view us in a way that is any different from themselves, just because we live in a different area of town. BTW, there are several other subdivisions in our city whose houses are much more expensive than ours.

We buy our macaroni and cheese at the same stores they do, shop at the same Walmart and frequent the local thrift shop to buy our clothes. I think that some of these folks are a little jealous maybe, and don't know the work and sacrifices we have made to live the way we do.

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Come on down to Atlanta, Stormy, and I will introduce you to a bunch of them! Seriously, I posted in Kim's thread about the people around us and I do consider them to be "keeping up with the Joneses" but I also said I don't think they are going into debt to do it. They can afford what they are spending because they make ridiculous amounts of money. I consider them "the Joneses" though because they are always trying to one-up each other and outdo each other. I live in Buckhead which is a very expensive part of Atlanta and it is impossible to buy a house in a good neighborhood that is safe and has decent elementary schools for under half a million dollars. People my age (I am 36) are living in homes that cost over a million bucks. They are driving BMW station wagons and huge Lexus and Mercedes SUVs. They are literally dripping in jewelry. They act like they would get hives if they had to go into a WalMart. They have nannies and the moms don't work, but they play lots of tennis and have many volunteer duties that interfere with taking care of their own children. They have second homes at the beach or the mountains before they are 40 years old. They buy their kids' clothes at clothes shows where the outfits are all made just for their little darlings and wait 2 or 3 months before they get them in the mail. They buy their own clothes at little expensive boutiques or at Neimans or Saks. They wouldn't be caught dead at Marshalls. These people are TOTALLY the norm where I live.

You make a very valid argument here. And, I agree that this may be the case sometimes.

In our area, we see time and time again where a family has bought a new home, a couple of new cars, wears nice clothes, then files for bankruptcy and a couple of years later starts the whole process all over again. Or, the parents work two or three jobs so that their kids can take karate class, gymnastic lessons, music lessons and participate in extra-curricular school activities because "that's what all the other kids are doing." Is it really worth it? I've also listened to parents complain because they can't pay their insurance, but the next week they drive up in a brand new SUV! However, I live in a much different area than you describe. I live in a rural area where both parents working factory-type jobs is the norm. Being a SAHM usually means you are being supported by the welfare system. So, we are probably considered to be the "Joneses" of our area. I'm sure demographics play a HUGE role in this discussion.

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Homeschooling Mom to Daniel (12 Years), Andrew (9 Years), Stephen (7 Years) and Emily (3 Years)

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I would say that the "Jones's" are not necesarily snotty or living outside their means. They are people who have more than most. That is why people want to keep up with them.

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~Happiness is a large family~

I'm raising my hand! I'm a 'Joneses'.

I have a girlfriend who is wonderful and a complete inspiration when it comes to frugal and simple living. I adore her because she and her husband really do work together in reaching their goals. I love being around her because she helps me be more frugal.

Yet the other day she admitted that she recently took on a parttime job because she HAD to get her credit card debt paid off. Her and her husband made a vow a few years back to never get into credit card debt again, yet here she is with a month-to-month balance. I'm heart broken for her. I know part of the reason that debt is there is because of my bad influence.

I have seen the 'Joneses' influence in other areas of my life, too. When I was working (oh so many years ago, it seems), I saw the competition among my female co-workers. I distinctly remember when one co-worker became engaged to a VP at the company. She came into work with a 3 carat engagement ring. Suddenly there were women all over the department who were 'upgrading their rings'. One woman went and got a totally cute haircut, suddenly all the other women we visiting the hairdresser. Need I mention what happened when one woman got pregnant? Oh my goodness, there was something in the water that year! I was never so glad to quit and 'retire early'. Hah! Let them try to keep up with that!

And the 'Joneses' factor went through my family, too - among my siblings. I didn't notice it until after my husband and I bought a 4-bedroom house. Suddenly my siblings all moved to a larger house. One of us bought a new car; suddenly everyone needed a new car - almost by co-incidence. As above, my sisters seemed to be completely career oriented until I made a point of going into early retirement. When my parents became very ill I was the only one able to flex my schedule enough to care for them. Suddenly not having to work had a certain cache. Next thing I know my older sister is planning her early retirement.

And I do caution against the pseudo-frugal - the people who SAY they're frugal because they shop at Costco but spend over $200 buying non-essentials everytime they go. The neighborhood where my DD goes to school is like that. They are always talking about the great deals they got but their charging those great deals to their credit cards and not paying them off. I know one family that re-financed their house three times in one year and pulled out equity each time! And they had a brand new house. It isn't like they needed the money for home improvements.

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I think I know what you're saying here. Sometimes it does seem like if you're financially secure people wonder why we're on mommysavers. I've actually read here where people have posted that...."well if they have so much money why are they on this site?" I always think that's odd. We are financially comfortable, certainly not rich, but we don't live paycheck to paycheck or worry where our next meal is coming from. Yet I still think of myself as a frugal person who doesn't blow money mindlessly on non essentials. But sometimes I do get the feeling that the "Joneses" are automatically assumed to be snobs....which I don't agree with either. We also live in an area of lots of "joneses" and I think they're mostly incredibly nice people who are actively involved in their children's lives and giving back to the community. Guess I can't see anything wrong with that.

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The other thing that bothers me is that when something good happens, you are automatically labeled as "bragging" when you share. Good news is to be shared...and being excited about something is a POSITIVE to me. Yes, you can get to the point of bragging, but for the most part, to me, we are all SHARING!

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I live in an average income family neighborhood--working middle class. I know I have more debt than others but those were extenuating circumstances, not because I had to have a certain pair of shoes or a certain car.

They say in the 80's people bragged about how much they spent and now people brag about how much they save.

It's all in the individuals' mindset. I went to high school with the poorest and richest kids in town. The ones that had more money than God were the nice ones. The ones that were trying to fit in with that crowd were the rude not so nice people.

How sad, I haven't been on the board that long but I haven't encountered that. Some people are just jealous and don't like it when things go well for other people. Keep on sharing good news, that's what keeps are spirits up!!