Okay so I really need to crack down! I have always considered myself a frugal person and a saver, but really sitting back and looking at everything- I am not. I am addicted to grocery shopping if it is a good deal. I go shopping weekly, but have so many groceries that we really don't need to be buying anything else. Even my fiance says it to me all the time when I tell him I am going shopping for groceries. On the weekends we eat out, but we really don't need to be at all. We have TONS of food in the house. I am talking TONS of food, too. There are millions of things I can be making with what we have, but when I find or see a good deal, I can't pass it up. I go shopping at thrift stores and don't spend too much, but at the same time... do I really need to keep buying all this stuff? I am putting myself on restriction from buying myself clothes. Now I am pregnant and my clothes aren't going to be fitting for very long. I have an entire closet STUFFED full of clothes just for me. I feel bad when I see that the soon-to-be hubby has hardly any clothes and I hog up almost the entire closet just for ME. I look back at everything lately, and I just keep spending and spending. I have a wedding coming up in May that we REALLY need to be saving up for. Yet I can't help but spending, spending, spending... This past weekend I just spent who knows how much on crap that we really don't need to have. Now we have a little one on the way too to add to everything. So I have a baby on the way, a wedding, an almost three year old, a fiance, and a spending habit!!! HELP!?!?! I need someone to smack me into shape and give me some major advice here on what to do from here.

OK, consider this your spending intervention!

It sounds like you're using shopping to fill your life with something it must be lacking. Sit down and ask yourself the serious questions. Are you happy? Bored? What is going on that you need to shop to fill a void?

The first thing I would recommend is to stop shopping COLD TURKEY. It sounds like you have enough to live on for quite some time. Start using up what you have; whether it's your clothing or your food. For the necessities like milk, bread, flour, etc. have dh go shopping for you. The most important thing here is to stay out of the stores so you won't be tempted.

The second step is to see what you really need and what you can get rid of. I'm guessing that you can sell a lot of your clothing on eBay, Craigslist or give it away. Having a clutter-free closet filled with ONLY the pieces you love is more rewarding than having tons of stuff you don't use.

During this process hopefully you will be able to see a transformation. You will have to look for other ways to fill your time. You may rediscover hobbies or start spending more time with friends.

I wish you well!! Check in here for advice and feedback, the women are AWESOME and can offer lots of great support and advice.

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bump

I'm going to tell you the name of the book that you NEED to go to the library and get right now!
Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover AND
Affluenza, can't remember the author

Those two books can change your life!
Also, I would set yourself up with a cash allowance and only pay with cash, once your are out, you can't spend more! AND I would return all that "stuff" you bought, you don't need it!

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A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water.-Eleanor Roosevelt

Wow, I think Kim had some wise words for you. I like her idea to have your fiance do the shopping for awhile. Perhaps you can talk about it and swap a few duties. For instance, he does the grocery shopping and you start taking out the trash, or something like that. This way, he doesn't have extra jobs.

I also recommend that you start small and work toward your goal. Start with having spend-free days a few times per week, and perhaps make lists on those days of things you think you need around the house. on the days you have allotted to spend money, only buy the things on the list. After one week, increase to a spend-free workweek (or weekend, depending on when you tend to buy more).

One thing I've had to teach myself is that you are not SAVING money by buying sale, discount, or thrift store items. It is still hard-earned money being taken out of your wallet, regardless of the deal. You are also not saving buy buying multiple sale items if you end up throwing them away (because they never get eaten and go bad, for instance.)

Perhaps a few small changes will help. I've been trying to retrain myself as a SAHM regarding food. each time I go for something to eat (which is incredibly often when you're at home all day!!!) I drink a glass of water first. Often I forget to eat something afterward, and perhaps my hunger goes away because I was really thirsty. Maybe you could try something like that with your shopping? Each time you want to enter a store and spend money, take your daughter to the park first. It'd be a fun way to try retraining yourself, anyway!!

Good luck!

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~ mama abroad

"Be the change that you want to see in the world." -Ghandi

check out my culture shock blog: A View from the Outside

All of you would be so proud to hear what I did last night. I got the grocery ads and threw them away. I knew if I kept them around, I would be tempted to find a good deal and go out and buy whatever it was. So instead of dealing with the pressure, I just threw the ads away right when I got them in the mail. (Yes I glanced through them before throwing them out, but I knew better.) Then I cooked dinner. We had leftover hamburger meat from tacos the other night. I made hamburger helper(the store brand). We had leftovers of that so that will be dinner for tonight. Then I tackled my daughter's room. I really wish I had taken before and after pictures, to be honest. It was a total war zone. She is only 2 1/2 but she sure had everything everywhere. She barely had a walk way to get to her bed to sleep at night from toys and crap everywhere. Needless to say, I had two big black garbage bags of stuff that got taken out of the room for the thrift store, and a big cardboard box of trash that isn't needed by anyone. I organized all her remaining toys into clear plastic bins. The fiance went to KMart to get two more of them so we could get everything organized. When they came back, Tarynn (my daughter) couldn't believe her room was clean. She had to show daddy and call him in there. It was a HUGE difference in there. I must admit, I felt much better about myself last night. I am staying out of the stores and spring cleaning. I am going to be decluttering and going through EVERYTHING. Kim was right. I have been buying stuff out of boredom. I have PLENTY of things to keep me busy. The soon to be hubby was in total shock how clean I had her room by the time I got home. Before cleaning it, I was feeling morning sickness and whining and complaining. The funny thing is- when I was cleaning and after cleaning I felt fine! I made myself a goal list for the week yesterday. I am going to keep to them. I know I can. I am opening a separate account this payday just to go toward savings for the wedding.

Today's task is to stay out of any stores whatsover. NO SHOPPING! I am going to clean the kitchen out and the dining room. I am going through everything and seeing what is really needed and what isn't used. I am also going to tackle both bathrooms and go through everything as well. I am talking about throwing out old bottles of crap that is just accumulating everywhere. SO after I get off work, I will have plenty to do. By the end of this week, our house will be half way really clean. (I mean Spring cleaned and everything.) I have to housesit and babysit out of the home during the weekend so I won't have time to get the entire thing done by myself.

Girls, I feel so much better about myself. My fiance definitely saw a huge difference in me yesterday. I don't need to spend money to make myself happy. I am going to save money and have a great wedding. It feels like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders!

Yeah Sassy!! We are proud of you!! It feels so good to feel in control of things rather than controlled by them. You are making fantastic strides toward a better future for your family.

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Mommy to Bryce 2/20/2005 and Skye 3/4/2008

This is WONDERFUL!!! I'm glad to see you're getting it. Keep going, just imagine how much better you'll feel if you keep on doing this day after day!

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