I also don't understand why people automatically assume that because someone has a new car, a new home and a plasma or big screened tv that they are rich and someone you should be envious of. I guess it doesn't occur to some people that these "Joneses" acutally save their money for their purchase and try to pay cash for it. Or like one poster said someone's boss gave them a Lexus as a bonus (or maybe they get a huge cash bonus each year and buy their new tv or whatever with that money).

We could have a Lexus or Merecedes or any other "Jones" type car if I wanted to, but we can't see spending that money on a car, plus my dh doesn't work for a Merecedes dealership! LOL We don't live in our car so we'd rather that go into our house, something that will only go up in value. We do each have new cars but they are something we will have for the next 10yrs or so and will have paid off soon.

A year ago we had been talking about moving with friends of ours who were also talking about moving. It became a very competitive sport, so to speak, with the other couple. I would talk to her and tell her we decided to stay put for awhile and she would say the same thing. This went on, back and forth for a few months. It's like her dh was waiting for "word from us" that we were looking and then she'd tell me, he told me not to mention to anyone but we are looking again. Ok, great, I'm happy for ya! We just aren't doing so right now. Finally I went over there one day and she said they bought a house. We were happy for them, they wanted something bigger with a yard etc, just like we were thinking about, only we decided to stay put one more year, it just wasn't the right time for us I guess. So we went over to their old place for one last b-day party and her dh was telling my dh about the new house and asked if we found anything yet. I told him no, we aren't looking anymore, we didn't want to move yet and we'd be waiting about a year to do so. (at that time we had redone our kitchen-my dream kitchen-the year before and I hated to think of doing all that work just to leave already)The look on his face was total disappointment. He looked so upset/mad or something. His wife had told me she didn't really love the new house, that she felt they just settled for it to get out of their current house fast. This is the same couple whose dh was always trying to put my dh down about his job, why he doesn't go back to school like he did (one reason being my dh's work wouldn't be paying for school like his was!) he doesn't really want to be doing what he's doing the rest of his life etc. It just got to be too much. He always wanted to know my dh's salary, trying to get him to tell him. I guess one day they were talking and my dh just came out and told him since that seemed to be really bothering him in some way, that he didn't know. I guess it must have been more than our friend was making because he looked totally shocked my dh said. But that should not matter to them, how much we make! We are not competing with anyone! He would always make little comments about the purchases we made, our couch, where we put our tv once we got a new one, our Xbox etc. To us, we couldn't care any less how much they make, what they have, that they got a new house etc. We were happy for them because we thought they were happy. She is able to stay at home just like me etc. It got to be too much of a strain and we ended that relationship. I don't need negative people like that in my life. Sometimes people just change too much, we were friends with them for like 9yrs but since they had kids he slowly began to change. Oh, even getting pregnant with our 2nd kids became a competition! Our oldest is 6mo older than theirs and our youngest is 3wks older than their youngest and that was a problem for him. We had been talking about getting pregnant and so were they and he said some comment about how this time they'd be pregnant first. I thought ok, whatever, ha ha joking around. Then like 2wks later I found out I was pregnant and when we told them she said so am I and were all laughing, until they found out their due date was 3wks after mine. Who cares?!

We are not the Joneses for anyone to be keeping up with, by no means! We just bought a new home but we stayed in our old one for 5yrs and WE felt we needed more space, a yard etc, not because EVERYONE else is buying new homes. We got the money we wanted out of that house (it was our first house, a small townhouse that worked well for us for the past 5yrs) and stuck very much to a budget on what we wanted to spend on the new one. Because we were so careful in planning and budgeting our payments are very close to what they were on the other house. There are all different types of homes (sq ft wise) in this plan, some bigger and some smaller than ours. I'm not upset or envious of those with the bigger home. We could have went much bigger but then my dh would have to work so much harder to make more money, I'd possibly have to go back to work and put the kids in daycare etc and for what? So we could have the biggest home on the block? No thanks. We plan on being here until the boys are in college and then moving for hopefully the last time! Everything we do with our money is for us, not for everyone else or because everyone else it so we must to. We buy what we can afford when we can afford to do so. If we want something new we wait until we have the cash to purchase it and even then we don't necessarily buy the name brand of whatever it is we want. We shop for the best price. We go on at least one "big" vacation every year, although this year it will be spent painting our house! And it's not like we are upset that we can't go to the beach this year, just because we moved or I feel we should still do it. It would be foolish to spent a few more thousand dollars on a vacation when we just bought a new house. We save up throughout the year to go on vacation the next year. If one year we need the money for something else then we wouldn't go on vacation, we wont die if we don't make it to the beach or back to Disney World or whatever. And I think that is what makes the difference. To act mature and responsible enough to realize when you can and should spend your money. If you can't afford it so be it. Maybe next year you can. But life is way too short to dwell on the things you can't have now, there will always be someone with the bigger home, more cars, taking more lavish vacations, but who really cares?

When my SIL found out we were moving she started complaining about her home and car situation. They "needed" a new car at the exact same time we were buying our house so they went out and bought a Mercedes. She complained to my dh that it seems like we are always getting new cars all the time. He actually had to explain to her that 1. he works in a dealership (uh, she does know this) and can get us a good deal 2. that we always leased and every 3 yrs I would get a new car 3. that he drove a dealer car (uh, again something she knew) and didn't need to buy one and every so many miles he would drive another dealer car and 4. we lease/buy what WE can AFFORD!!!!!! I'm glad they finally got their Mercedes as that is what they've always wanted and what her dh drove when they first met, hence the reason they are together but that would make my post 15 pages long! It doesn't make me long for one. This is our first "new" house. They are on their 3rd "new" house which they just had built 2yrs ago (with money from his mom) and are looking to move and build yet again, because as my 5yr old says Enough is never enough (from Over the Hedge)!! They can do this because his mom pays off their cc each month and gives them money. It's not speculation as he talks openly about it and their finances and we know they couldn't do it on their own. Maybe he wishes they did things more like us, planned more, bought what they could afford when they had the money instead of giving in to his wife to buy things otherwise she gets mad (she is the one that spent over $1,000 on their puppy when he told her not too). I guess we are just proud we have come so far, in the 12yrs we've been together, on our own. No help from parents ever with money. Everything we have we have because we have worked very hard for.

My dh and I both grew up what we consider poor. We never had money to go on a vacation and we never did. We never went out to the store every other week to get toys. My dh never had a toy, no action figures or the coolest new toy for Christmas or b-day gifts. He wore his cousins 2 sizes too big hand me down clothes and shoes, he once went to school wearing soccer shoes that were huge on him that he got from his cousin. My sister and I never had designer jeans like my friend had or all the Barbie's and townhouse etc that she had but we were still friends. My dh makes it a point to tell our oldest that he never had toys growing up and that having a lot of them shouldn't be what make you happy. So one day we were at Target and he says Mommy, daddy is very right, family is what makes you happy not toys and gives me a huge hug. He's 5!

My dh works for a car dealership and sees everyday how people that make the wrong choice with money, how it affects them in the long run. They have to have that new truck/suv, no matter that it is a $700/mo payment. Their neighbor has is so they must have the better one. Or the kids influence what car and options to have, if their friend's parent has it they think they too have to have it. That is one reason we are the way we are. We don't want to end up like them. Maxed out on credit for things that don't matter, not able to sleep at night because they are constantly worring about how they will pay their bills each month. It is definitely about choices, how you choose to spend your money. He had a lawyer come in to buy a car, who had a mortgage payment and house payment almost identicle to ours yet he couldn't get the car because his credit was so bad and he paid no one. He choose to spend his money on all the things that make him look good to everyone else instead of paying his bills. What does that teach his kids? I guess I just get tired of hearing how well off everyone must be because of this or that. Can't people just be content with what they have and with their own families? Maybe spend more time and energy on their own family and quit worrying about what is going on next door?

My SIL just got a new home in a subdivision by the lake--paying $168,000 for it--in our neck of the woods thats alot--its 4 BDR 2 Bath--we live in the country--yes I am a hillbilly in a 14oo sq ft --I think-- brick home 3 bdr 1 and 1/2 bath with 2 1/2 acres we only paid 43,000 for. She really thinks she is something--I admit I would love to have all the room she has--our DH's work the same place make the same money--our home will be paid for in 8-9 yrs because I add to principle, they will be paying way longer. She told DH he needed to buy the one down the street from her I told her I'd rather live piled in our house than have those payments--Ok we have 4 tv's one plasma and now own 4 vehicles. Two are paid for and 2 are not--so I guess to some people here we are the Jones--it all depends on how you look at it.

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ITA! I couldn't have said it any better. I hate to see ANYONE making assumptions about ANYONE.

We are friends with a wonderful family... the husband is good-looking and super-high up in some major corporation, the mother is a gorgeous, slender stay-at-home mom, and they have 6 incredibly well-behaved home-schooled kids all aged two years apart. And they are all devoted to Christ to the utmost. They are very well off financially. And here's the kicker... their name really is Jones!!! But the husband worked hard to get to where he is, and they do not take it for granted. They know the Lord has blessed them, and they try to be a blessing to all those around them.

But then again, everyone seems like a Jones to me. We're having a bit of a rough time, and I grew up pretty poor, too. But I always thank the Lord for what He has given us, and know that I can enjoy His blessings now, and look forward to an eternity of unimaginable riches and glory in heaven.

huh.. and I thought that moving into my 1300 sq ft home was like going into a castle. LOL!! Yes, I would love a biger house, but really, it just would mean, more things to vacuum, dust, etc. do I really have the time for that? I think not! LOL

I live next door to the Joneses, and we're related to them, too.
I know this is true for their whole household.

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~Jeweled

You are the Jones' that I want to keep up with! I am wishing now I would have made choices that would have better enabled me to stay home with my children. Instead I enjoyed the mall, didn't save etc. We have never had the income to be extravagant, but we could've saved better and prepared. Good for you for making choices that work for your family!

I also want to add that my parents are people who have lived both with struggle for many years as they raised us and now live in what many would call luxary. My father worked very hard for their beautiful home, nice cars, vacation home, etc. They are happy and you know what, I think they deserve all their "stuff" if it's what they want!