What do you believe about money that is stopping you from being wealthier?

How about ...

1) For me to earn more money, I have to work long hours and give up my personal life.

2) For me to get wealthy, I have to deny myself much of what I enjoy.

3) Having lots of money would make me a selfish, unhappy person.

4) Being wealthy just brings trouble. Everyone would expect me to bail them out of their financial troubles.

5) If I was wealthier than the rest of my family, I'd never hear the end of it.

6) If I suddenly came into money, my husband and I might split up.

7) Being very wealthy would alienate me from my friends. It is lonely at the top.

8) Being wealthy means working very hard all the time. Once you have money, you can't stop earning it. You have to keep the income flowing or you can't maintain that lifestyle.

9) If I became wealthy, then others would suffer and have to go without.

10) I'm not wealthy because I don't have a great idea to sell.

11) Most people become wealthy by cheating others. Everytime I think of getting rich, all I can see is all those TV schisters.

12) You have to 'play dirty' to get ahead in business or politics.

13) If I became wealthy all those material possessions would just weigh me down.

14) It isn't very 'spiritual' to be wealthy. I wouldn't be as involved in my faith if I was rich.

15) I don't want my children to become spoiled or snobby.

16) I don't want to become spoiled or snobby.

17) I'm happy the way I am. I don't need anything more.

18) Having money would mean I'd have to learn how to manage it and I don't have a 'head for numbers'.

19) Being wealthy would mean always being auditted by the IRS. I don't want the hassle.

20) Becoming rich won't buy happiness. I have to put my energy elsewhere. I don't have the time to work on our financial situation.

Any others?

Why would believing like this hold us back? Is that a bad thing? A good thing? Are any of these believes true? How can we believe differently?

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"I've been rich and I've been poor but independently wealthy is where it is at."

I don't think my beliefs about money are holding me back, since I disagreed with just about every statement above. This was the one I had to think about:

17) I'm happy the way I am. I don't need anything more.

I am VERY content with my life the way it is, and truly feel I don't need anything more to be happy. However, that said, I think more money would be nice, and I'd gladly welcome it into my life!

I've also thought more lately about working "smarter" instead of "harder". (Maybe because dh is in the final stretch of tax season and working 70+ hour weeks). I think a lot of us believe that in order to make more money you have to work harder, but in longer hours. I think a better approach is to work "smarter". Maximizing the time you do have at work, figuring out more efficient ways to do things, delegating responsibility in certain cases, etc.

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Oh, dear. That list is eye opening. I agreed with every point but one! What does that mean? Is that a really bad sign?

I have absolutely no desire to be rich. I do have a desire to live more freely with my finances but I'm not the least bit interested in being rich. I don't even play the lottery not because I think it's wrong, it's because I am afraid to win.

This one is really going to get me thinking! Hmmm, yesterday I scored 33 out of 35 of Oprah's happiness test. Today I find out I don't even want to be rich. Now, I'm really confused.

Anyone have any insights?

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Kathryn,

Do you think that money is a bad thing? Is it your personal experience that people you know who are "rich" are somehow unhappy, greedy, or superficial? It seems to me that maybe you associate bad things with money (just from what I've noticed - in particular the "curse of the lottery" post, and the "would you want to be rich and beautiful?" post).

Maybe you should look around to see some really great, inspiring examples of great things that money can do. Bill and Melinda Gates, for example, are doing awesome things with their fortune. Oprah and her Angel Network, etc.

It's great that you're so happy (I scored 34 on that test too) but I think maybe you can challenge yourself to bring even more blessings into your life. Money CAN be a blessing!

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Oh, no, I don't think money is a bad thing at all. And I don't think that list is true with my head, but I feel the list is true in my heart which must mean there is an underlying reason why I personally have no desire to be rich but I have absolutely no problem with other people who are rich. I don't think those things of them.

The post has really caused a lot of self reflection. Who needs a therapist when we have Mommysavers?

I think it comes down to a number of things for me.

Edited out personal details once thread was old....

.... and we lived in a developing country for years. I would rather give all the extra money I have away just to save one life then keep it for myself (Not that I judge others.. I am not a judgmental person at all.) Oprah once said, "People die of starvation because we let them." It rang so true in my heart. Any bit extra we have after taking care of our own needs and our future needs, gets put right back into helping others.

I sure have learned a lot today. Thanks for being willing to ask the difficult questions.

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This is the one I have the biggest problem with:

I don't necessarily want to be wealthy, but I want my family to be financially comfortable and never be desperate for money. The thought of being in a dire financial situation absolutely terrifies me. That's why I deny myself and my family from doing a lot of fun stuff -- I want to make sure that we always have money for necessities. I'm trying to loosen up my tight grip on money, but it's difficult. All I can think of is "What if we have an emergency (car breaks down, health crisis, etc.) and here I've been blowing money on having a good time?" We have a very good emergency fund, but in my warped thinking, I can never seem to have enough money. My strong reign on money drives my dh crazy.

My dh is a bit freer with money and wants the family to go out for pizza and bowling this weekend. It sounds like fun, but I'm cringing at spending all that money. Come Monday, I know I'll have "buyer's remorse" from that weekend outing.

Like Kim I disagreed with almost every one of those statements.

I was raised weathly, that didn't mean that I got everything I asked for. It didn't mean that I wasn't a troubled teenager like every teen is. It didn't mean that my mother is superflical or that my family was disjointed.

It's just money. Some have more of it and some don't. And like Kim it's about working smart. I make my money fit my needs, it works for me. What I did find intertesting was your assocatiation of wealth with material things, I dont' assocaite wealth with things, but with freedom.

I don't deny myself... if I want a cup of vastly overpriced hot beverage from Starbucks, I get it, but I do recignize the cost. What would I rather have... a week long vacation every year or a cup of Starbucks every day?

I choose to be happy, I don't live the lifestyle that I was raised in, but that's okay as well. I don't see wealth as a bad thing at all. My parents still work, but at about 70% of what they used to make when I was growing up. So while they money coming in the front door is much less than what it used to be, they still live very large.
They took Decemeber and Januarty off and traveled the US to visit with friends and family. In Febuary they took all the grandkids to Wisconsin Dells for a few nights at the waterpark hotel and skiing during the day. In March they went to the Dominican Republic. May, it's San Francisco and in July my mother is going to Africa.

They are wealthy with money, but only because they choose how they spent it. It wasn't denying themselves things, it was making a choice about what was more important.

I feel sad when I see such negative emotions and statements about wealth and money. That tells me that you will never gain wealth with that outlook on it.


I also highly recommend people read the book "Your money or your life"
It will help you define your relationship with money and how it controls your life.

I disagree with almost all of the above reasons, however there were some that identified with.

For some, being wealthy does mean working very hard, non-stop. My parents are very well-off, and my dad works all of the time. He brings his work home every night.
As for #20, I agree with the first part. Becoming rich will definitely not buy happiness. My parents have been unhappy for a long time now, and are finally getting divorced. They haven't up until now because of the money.

Also, I do feel like our financial situation is not worth a lot of energy. We have figured out our goals, and we work on them, but there are much more important things to invest our energy in. I have a very good friend who is always convinced that if her dh gets a job making x amount, life will be perfect. It won't.

This one is true for me. We don't need anything more than what we already have. This doesn't mean that we aren't working towards big financial goals. It just means that we are totally comfortable with where we are at.

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~Vicki~
Mama to Hailey, 4 and Ella, 2

Okay, the member who took a vow of poverty to be a missionary is excused from acquiring any personal wealth. HOWEVER, there is a lot to be said for being in a position to TEACH other people how to acquire wealth for themselves.

For me, being wealthy means being a loving steward of the gifts that have been given us.

As mentioned above, each statement above is a myth. And Mama2mygirls had it exactly right. Acquiring wealth doesn't have to take all our time and energy. All we need to do is set our goals then live by them.

There has been something in the sermons at church over the last few weeks that has caused me to exam my life and admit that I haven't been a very good steward of my financial gifts these last few years. I'm looking to change that. I visit Mommysavers every day to keep motivated and seek more inspiration to stay on the path that I desire.

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"I've been rich and I've been poor but independently wealthy is where it is at."

these are mine.
5) If I was wealthier than the rest of my family, I'd never hear the end of it.

I already get crap from my family. we are grew up pretty poor. One of my uncle even said he would never come to my house again b/c I had too nice a house. That did hurt. But even being frugal my family thinks I have money to burn. I am the only child who has never borrowed money from my mom and this includes going to college. I think it's also b/c I decided to stay home. I also think they partially blame me for my niece staying home. she always kept referring to me being home with the kids. Her dh works his butt off and she appears to do nothing to help support her family. that a whole new thread. My mom wanted her niece to move to MN and I was going to have her and her son live with us and I got nothing but heck for offering.

6) If I suddenly came into money, my husband and I might split up.

This is my BIG one. This is same reason I keep putting off counseling. I feel pretty hopeless as far as the marriage and I am soo scared that counseling will lead to the end of the marriage.

wow, didn't expect all that to come out.

allgirls

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allgirls, mom to 3 girls