We are in way over our heads and we are so far down I see no light at the top. We are screwed. I'd give us 3 months and they will either be foreclosing on my house or repossesing my van. We are $30,000 in the debt and we can't get out. All of our credit card limits have been reduced leaving the cards maxed out. I have about $2,000 in medical bills that I can't get a personal loan to consolidate them and cut the payments down. It just cost $600 to fix the van. That wiped out our savings. I was using savings to pay our bills. Now what...they keep getting sent in later and later.

I have no idea what to do. I have no idea what I can do.

I hate doing this to my kids. They don't deserve it. They deserve better then me. I hate to see it in a few years when they are old enough to realize the failure of a parent I've been.

First, you're not a bad mother! You just got in a little over your head. I understand where you are coming from. Last yr. we fell behind on our mortgage by a month and couldn't catch up. We were less than 30 days from a foreclosure. Our mortgage co. begrudgingly worked w/ us to do a repayment plan but things didn't get better for a while. After we got caught up (6 months later) , they sent our next statement w/ $300 worth of late charges that they didn't figure into the repayment plan. Have you contacted your mortgage co.? Will they work w/ you by doing a repayment plan. Your house is your biggest concern right now and the most important. The repo of your car will do a lot of damage to your credit but you don't live in your car. FYI, when cars get repoed, they go to an auction and whatever is not taken care of by the sell of your car, will be pd. back by you. Stupid huh. There is light at the end of the tunnel and you just need to take babysteps right now. Cut unnecessary expenses like cable and internet for now if you haven't already. Live off what you already have as far as groceries as much as you can. I wish I could be of more help. Oh, and hang dry your clothes. I hope you are in better spirits and just know that you're not alone.

You need to talk to someone about it. Creditors really want to work with you for fear you will go bankrupt and they are out 100%.

We used Metropolitan Financial which turned into Debtmanagers. I think their website is Metropolitan Debt Solutions, Get out of debt with our bill consolidation, budget counseling, and debt management program. It will be a huge burden off your shoulders.

some debt managers put a mark on your credit. that wasnt our experience but "debt management" is a much better "stain" than bankruptcy.

whoa! I only put in the link and it turned into that long line. I meant to put www dot debtmanagers dot come and the whole sales pitch came out.

I swear I dont think work for them!

Good luck.

Wow, that in no way makes you a bad parent!!!!! We are grandparents and are still having money issues!!!! It is embarrassing, but it is a fact of life!!! Hang in there sweetie, you will get through this!! Big hugs to you!

__________________
~Happiness is a large family~

Hang in there. We have all been there and done that and still doing it! It's the expense of baby #2. She'll be turning 1 shortly, and no more formula........then no more diapers......daycare is the biggie though, so I feel for you. My daycare bill is now going to sore to $200 a week with summer care.

Call your mortgage company. If you are sitting at a 20yr, see if you can refinance to a 30 yr mortgage to lower your payment. If you still have your little neon, sell the truck and camper to get rid of that payment. Have DH drive the car. Keep the van because you need a vehicle that you all can get in to.

I was able to do a repayment plan with my mortgage company last year and then we refinanced and paid it all off. I am in a repayment plan w/my electric company now, paying my estimated monthly bill of $95 plus $25 to the old balance.
I too have a lot of little bills that are way past due and I just can not catch up on them.
I was just lucky to get a babysitting job though paying $220/month so that will help alot!
Good luck to you!!!! HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

These ladies are so right. Your kids don't deserve better than you. They deserve and want the best mommy for them, which IS you! They wouldn't trade you for all the money in the world.

The ladies are also right about calling your creditors. I found out a little known fact w/my car companies - they will let me skip one payment a year - it gets tacked on to the end. There's a small fee w/one company $10-$25 to do it, and the other one had me pay that month's interest and tacked the principal onto the end. Definitely not something to use every year, but it helped out when my kids were so sick and the Dr. and pharmacy were getting the $$.

If they feel you want to work with them and the setback is temporary, they really don't want to foreclose or repo.

Talk to your creditors on your medical bills - unfortunately, they end up coming last a lot - you have protections from them, too. But if you let them know you need to skip a couple of months or just send them even $5, they should work w/you. It's the communication they want, short of their money.

Good luck. You can make it happen. Try to be positive and focus on the kids - make a few phone calls a day - I think just having the calls made will help!

__________________
Make someone's heart smile today.

I agree you have to realize that there are options. I would say you really need to talk to a professional. Mainly because we don't know your entire finacial picture. It sounds like your you are not able to pay all your bills. Meaning currnetly you are living above your means. There are a number of solutions negotiating with your lender to try and lower payments by making your terms longer. Down sizing, I don't know if this is a possiblity for you but becoming a one car family or moving into a smaller, older home in a less expencive area are possible solutions. I wish you the best of luck getting back on your feet again. It will happen and you are NOT a bad mother for having money issues.

__________________
Kimberly Proud Mommy to Bethany Rose April 2006

ok here goes my advice from someone who was on the verge of forecloser two years ago...call the mortgage company most will set up a payment plan or deferment on the missed payments if you don't call they will be less likely to help you...stop paying the other things like medical bills ect.. you need the house until you can figure out if you need to sell and move ect....as for the car call the creditor and try to work out a refinance lower interest ect..its in there best intrest to help you out...my brother was able to lower his interest and refinance for a little longer in order to have a car so its worth a shot...as for any credit cards call the company explain to them you are on the verge of bk and that you need some type of reduction of interest and a payment option...i was able to get my interest down to 2% on two cards and 4% on another and a set payment amount each month...the cards were closed but lets face it our credit was already trashed because of late payments and missed mortgage payments. and we obvioulsy did not need open credit...as for the medical bills i had to let some go to collections i continued to make small payments i could afford to the original creditor example the hospital or dr office and would not pay the collection agency then when i got my tax return we paid off as much in collections as we could. we are now rebuilding our credit you would be surprised how fast you can raise your score by making ontime payments for a year....its not hopeless we were on the verge of loosing our home and bk(wich i did not want to do we made the debt we should pay the debt is my thoughts) now we struggle but our stuff is on time we may not have alot left over but its getting paid....also as time when on some of the things in collections offered settlements for a fraction of what we owed and we were able to get rid of some that way. once i made 3 payments on my credit card plans the credit card companies put me in good standing and current on my credit report....you can do it...just call the creditors and be honest. its in your best interest to let other things go before the house. good luck i've been there and i know it is so stressfull keep your chin up.

__________________
Measure wealth not by the things you have, but by the things you have for which you would not take money.