I took a voluntary lay off just over 2 years ago and have not been recalled yet (no one has). I currently bartend one or 2 nights a week, my little sis is my boss, so it works well. I am very exhausted the next day of course and have been thinking of quitting. My hubby says we can afford for me to, the money I earn pays for a lot of the extras. however, if I don't work we are paying for those things out of his salary and right now are streched pretty thin. So there is not a lot for saving, clothing, entertainment, etc.

My DH stayed home 6 weeks while I worked my butt off when we had 2 kids, and the oldest was only in kindergarten. So, now we have 3, and the oldest will enter 3rd grade at one school, one into kindergarten at another school (area went from rural to residental and everyone wanted to attend the new school so we have K-2 at one and 3-5th at another, and there were 8 second grade classes this year!) and a 7 month old. He realizes the difficulty and expense in child care. He's never made me feel guilty about taking the layoff, but I feel guilty knowing the good money I made is no more and we don't seem to be getting ahead.

I have a fear of something happening to him, or a divorce and having no income or current job skills if I do quit the bartending job. And with my sis as my boss, I can come in as soon as he gets home, which can vary with his commute.

For now I will probably keep doing what I am, and I feel guilty I don't make more, but every penny counts I suppose!

I have been an at-home mom since for 2 years. I feel guilty on occassion because my husband and I are seperated for now, and, I am living off of child support. Our lifestyle has changed quite a bit since the seperation, and, while I know that we could be able to afford a lot more if I were working, I feel that it is imperative that I be at home with our young children. We have a 1, 3, 6, & 8 year old. I can only imagine summer childcare prices!

Hi...I am fairly new here..I don't feel guilty at all! I have worked up until last year. now my hubby took another job...we have a 20,000 pay cut but I get to stay home. I feel that I am able to work harder at saving money now that I am not working. Less dinners out...more planning at the store so I am not running in spending and wasting $. Also...the working mother guilt and the rushing around getting the kids to the sitter and picking them up was far more stressful. But I have to say that I have days that are stressful when my little ones are very cranky and I wish I had my sitter to give me an hour of respite...but I don't have that guilt everyday! I know one day I will add additional money to our family but now seeing how better our family is with less $ and less stress I am so thankful that I can stay home. Yes we have given up some former luxuries but we have all our basic needs met so we are doing well! I do wish I could make a little for some extra...such as a big screen tv , a disney world vacation...but in time we may be able to achieve some of those extras. That is my story!

I can't explain why, I just do, usually only when I need something though. All my pants are falling apart except one, and they will be soon, they are the only pair I can wear outside the house now but yet I keep putting off buying new pants because I don't feel I deserve it. Especially since Walmart stopped selling the only brand I like and they'll cost $10 more a pair plus shipping to buy direct online!

Heck my purse was falling apart for almost two years, I could put my hand clear through the hole in the liner at the top (and did so by accident quite frequently) and I almost didn't buy a replacement from Kmart for $9 a couple of weeks ago but DH made me.

I just don't feel like I do enough to deserve to spend money.

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You know, I dont feel guilty unless my soon to be ex husband makes me feel guilty. He used to rant and rave about how I should be out contributing financially. Yeaa right we have TWO babies under 3. He doesnt get it. I think that our children deserve to be raised by a parent not an institution so Ive always justified staying home.

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I never feel guilty about staying home. After my son was born 5 1/2 years ago I was clearing only about $5,000 a year. Not enough for me to justify being away from him. (I am a real estate Broker.) When I got pregnant with my daughter almost 3 years ago, I pretty much quit entirely. I have just done friends, family and referrals since then. My husband works rotating swing shift, so I can hardly get the laundry done and the house clean between people sleeping and napping.

My husband occasionally throws it in my face that he's earning all the money, but frankly we have no problem saving. He just told me to get my foreclosure business started right now, even though I told him I wasn't even thinking of that until my daughter is in school fulltime. When he does that I tell him the same thing every time: that I know what I'm doing is in the best interests of my children and that nothing except financial hardship could tear me away from them. I don't even argue about it anymore. His own family supports me, for the most part, but my husband seems to value money above all else.

I don't need his support, but it would be nice to have my work with our children recognized by their father.

I don't feel guilty usually. I agree with the ladies that said they feel they're a better parent not working publicly. I finally accepted I can't be super woman and I don't want to. I was way too stressed and overwhelmed and unhappy.That's me personal. I hate when people ask what I do. I say a home maker. They always say Oh, that's a tough job. If they only knew. If we get in a tight spot I'd pick up a parttime job for a while.Next month finally all my kids will be in school and family asks what are you gonna do? I really don't feel the desire to go to work. Cause soon as I do the school calls derek done this such and such is sick. They will call you for conference this and volunteer this. So, I think I could stay busy and happy with the kids and dogs.I only feel bad about money when husband says you spent to much. I ask him where do you think I spent it.Do you see any new clothes on me or any jelwrey on my hand.And that usually hushes him up!

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Crystal Ann

I do not feel guilty for not working, dh provides us with enough money to live comfortably.

I do feel guilty that I have the choice to work or not. Many women do not have the choice, they either must work to survive or their spouse insists that they stay at home.

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I'm quoting myself here. You know I orginaly posted this about 2 months ago and I was having some issues becoming a full time stay at home mom. I was 8 1/2 months pregnant, I had recently been laid off from my job and I was kind of unhappy about it.

That said! Baby is now here. We're adjusting and I'm starting to value myself a lot more! I provide a lot for my family and we're doing very well. House could be cleaner! But I didn't stay at home to clean house. I stayed at home to care for my children and let's face it my husband needs me to care for things at this end so he can do well at his job. And my children are thriving!

Anyway, I'm starting to learn to value myself outside of what my paycheck says. I still have some second thoughts here and there but I think I will come to terms with it more and more!

Occasionaly I will feel guilty but I dont think that is really comeing from me. Society has a way for makeing you feel guilty. When I tell people some of the things I do to save money they tell me I need to get a job so I dont have to do that. They just dont get it.

I tried to work and it just didnt pay. After all my expenses (daycare mostly) I had weeks that I made less then it cost. AT that time I decided I was not going to work again until all my children were is school.