My husband and I have decided that I will finally become a full-time SAHM. Since having our older son (2) I have only worked 1 1/2 days per week. Unfortunately, the dentist I have worked for for the past 8 years (six of them full-time) is the type who loves his employees who don't have kids, but the second they become moms, he becomes a total jerk to work for!! (Why choose a career where 99% of your employees will be female, then?) On more than one occasion he has told me (and my fellow mom-co-workers) that we should be putting our jobs before our children! His wife has never had to work, therefore he does not know what it's like to have to choose between sending a sick child to daycare or risk making your boss furious! (He actually hung up on me this last winter because I had to call in sick because my then 4 month old had a severe case of the flu. I really thought we were going to end up in the ER because he was so sick!!! ) I seriously don't call in or miss work for any reason more than two days per year!
Anyway, a situation recently came up where I was told to choose between my kids and my job. ( My daycare needed to have the kids picked up 15 minutes earlier for a few months, and my boss flipped out!!) I asked if I could leave at 4:50 instead of 5:00, and he flipped out on me. Keep in mind that before I had kids, I worked full-time for six years, hardly ever calling in sick, working through lunches and working late almost every night. Even since having my kids, I hardly ever call in sick or miss work for any reason! The only difference is now I have to actually leave work on time (GASP!) to pick up my boys from daycare. There's nothing I can do about my daycare because she is already signed up for her classes and can't make her decision based on the parent whose kids are there the least amount of hours per week! I understand my boss should not have to be "put-out" because of something with my daycare, but all I am asking for is 10 minutes! We make our own schedules for petes sake! I don't know why ONE day per week he can't finish 10 minutes early!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry this is so LONG, I just had to vent ! So that was the straw that broke the camels back. This weekend my husband and I decided that I'm not going to continue to work for someone who gets ticked off at all of his employees when they need to put the needs of their children first! Do you know that I don't think he has even asked about my youngest son at all since he's been born? Seriously! I'll bet you he doesn't even remember his name! My patients know more about my kids than he does, and him and I sit knee to knee all day long! I know all there is to know about his girls, his golf game, his investments.......
It's so frustrating! Before I had kids, he was a dream to work for, now he's a MONSTER!!!
Okay, to the point now... (Thanks for holding on!) Our goal was to eventually have me stay home full-time and the numbers all seem to work out on paper, but we don't have much time to prepare before I quit. It will be the last week in Aug. Our savings is looking kind of sad lately, so that's one worry I have, but the other is, How much money (on paper) do those of you living off of one income have at the end of the month? I have figured into our estimated budget, savings, gifts, and dining out income, so I'm hoping I've put in most of the "extras" and have $425 "left over". I know that number is just theoretical, but is that the norm, is it not enough..... Ahhhh! We've never lived on only my husbands income before, does that number look okay or is it so little that I should just stick with working with the jerk and deal with the crappy situation?
I'm sorry this "vent/question" is so long, I'm just scared that going to one income will ruin us!!! Please help!

It is my 100% belief that you need to GET OUT OF THERE!!! God will provide...and as long as you stick to your budget, that is a good bit "left over" to play with. I am proud of you for doing what is best for you and your child. The dentist you work for will miss you, believe me!!!

Also, in doing your budget, make sure you have included such things as haircuts, mad money, dr. appts, precriptions, etc. No, you won't need those every month, but if you put the money aside every month, when it does come up, you are prepared!!

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Thank you so much for your encouragement! It is such a scary move to make, but we know that if it is God's will for me to stay home, it will all work out! Believe me, I have been praying about this situation for quite some time now, it's just recently that I have felt almost "pushed" into actually doing it. I guess I didn't expect this all to happen so soon...

I think God is already showing you the way. You are going to be doing the best for your family and your own sanity. You CAN do it!

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I agree! And with what Blessed said too.

It doesn't matter how much is left over at the end of the month (for now) as long as something is. Then visit here and find creative ways to cut back even more. You won't have daycare costs anymore, uniform / work clothes costs, transportation costs. But you'll need a plan and a supportive group of women around you. If you don't have that where you are, you sure can find that here.

I'm proud of you for drawing the line and putting the needs of your family first. It will come with sacrifices but the blessings are 1000 fold.

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I think you should get out of the situation. That's not right for him to get mad at you for choosing your children over you job. With that said, both dh and I work and we don't have that much left over by the end of the month. I think it is a good number to end with. I don't have kids yet, so I don't know how much extra things cost, but as long as you put everything on paper correctly then you should be fine!

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What a jerk! Family comes before any job. I'm sure you feel God leading you to make this decision. Several years ago I found a book by Larry Burkett. It's a financial worksheet that will help you set up a budget and not forget the essentials. Anything by Dave Ramsey is a great tool to use. I made my own budget sheet by taking advice from both. Good luck to you. I'm sure your children will like having Mom at home full time.

One time I decided to quit my job because my boss was being a complete jerk (he was a body-builder and was high on steroids at the time). I went over our finances as soon as I got home then when the kids came home from school I told them. I explained that they didn't have to worry, our life shouldn't change very much and we will continue to take care of them just fine. The eldest's comment to this was, "Well if we're going to be okay without you working, why weren't we doing great when you were?"

Hmmm, I didn't really have an answer to that.

My suggestion is to live off of your husband's income NOW through to August when you quit. Except for paying for daycare, put all of your income into a savings account. As soon as possible, recalculate your husband's income withholding a submit a new W4 with his employer. Go to Internal Revenue Service for calculation assistance.

To answer your question, when working out a budget, you're not supposed to have anything left over at the end of the month. Whatever doesn't go to fixed expenses should go into an emergency fund or long term investments. Make sure you're still putting money into savings while you're living on hubby's income. The idea that you can always return to work to get you out of a financial difficulty will still be a temptation so try to be prepared.

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