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Old 07-03-2007, 05:00 PM   #21
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CoffeeGirl
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State Laws: Common Law Marriage - Findlaw for the Public -


It says Wisconsin does NOT recognize common law marriages.


But still ask your lawyer or legal aid about it. Good luck, please let us know how you are.
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Old 07-05-2007, 01:45 PM   #22
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I would kick his ass to the curb and not look back. I wouldn't waste my time dealing with him, that is what your new lawyer is for. Let him bully someone else, he is not your problem anymore. When I was 21 I had two babies and 22k of debt and found myself a single Mom. I kicked his ass to the curb, got a lawyer, worked two jobs for a little while, got ahead, and now I am in the black. Guess what? He is in debt up to his eyeballs now. I am getting remarried, and for the past 5 years, I couldn't have been any happier without him. You do not need him. Let him learn his own humility. You can do it! Oh yeah, and I am also finishing my bachelors degree this year, WITHOUT his help. He still has NO degree and spends money like he is crapping it. As long as you get your court ordered child support, you will be set!
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Old 07-05-2007, 02:09 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by callalily
I would kick his ass to the curb and not look back. I wouldn't waste my time dealing with him, that is what your new lawyer is for. Let him bully someone else, he is not your problem anymore. When I was 21 I had two babies and 22k of debt and found myself a single Mom. I kicked his ass to the curb, got a lawyer, worked two jobs for a little while, got ahead, and now I am in the black. Guess what? He is in debt up to his eyeballs now. I am getting remarried, and for the past 5 years, I couldn't have been any happier without him. You do not need him. Let him learn his own humility. You can do it! Oh yeah, and I am also finishing my bachelors degree this year, WITHOUT his help. He still has NO degree and spends money like he is crapping it. As long as you get your court ordered child support, you will be set!
Good for you! Listen to this woman! Sounds like she's been there before and knows what she is doing.
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Old 07-05-2007, 02:37 PM   #24
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Please take this as nicely as possible But I am worried that buy not getting married you have given up your rights to much of anything from this man. I am very sorry for you and I hope that he doesnt really mean what he said. At the very least he shoudl give you money for the kids.
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Old 07-05-2007, 03:03 PM   #25
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Hang in there. Sounds like you are on the right track now and are working on a plan.

Some might disagree with this next statement, and I'm not even sure how I feel about it.......but will throw it out there.......if you have a joint line of credit, or a joint credit card that you are unable to close because of a balance (that you can't pay because of his withholding of money), possibly consider taking cash advances to their limit. THE ONLY reason why I say this is because he will probably do it first if you don't beat him to it.

Unfortnately I have had two friends go through messy divorces (even though they tried to do it amicably) and this happened in both cases.

If you do this, try not to spend it because you'll have to pay off min. payments etc. on the balance, but it might be better spending some money on interest, than to have him drain the accounts first and you be jointly responsible for it.

Like I said not sure what I think of this idea, just mentioning what others have experienced. Try to keep your chin up. Sure sounds like you don't need this man in your life.
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Old 07-05-2007, 03:38 PM   #26
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THank you all so much for your support. This has been a complete mess, but, I was able to spend Tuesday doing everything that I could. I went and saw a lawyer, spoke with a pastor, applied for services, and talked to a therapist. I should find out about eligibility for assistance in a couple days. My parents have loaned us the money for groceries for now. According to my attorney, child support will be set from the amount of his previous 12 months income. He has been threatening to quit his well-paying job and work at Taco Bell. Apparently, if he did this, he would still be ordered to pay the amount that corresponds with the income he has received the previous years in his well-paying job. Wisconsin is not a marital property state, so, the good thing is: I have no risk of losing my home or car, the bad news is that I have no claim except child support, but, that is all I want anyway.

He is definitely both a sociopath, and, abusive. LOL! You hit the nail on the head there! There are mental health issues galore and they have gotten worse on a steady basis. I spoke with a therapist also on Tuesday, and, have come to accept that I can neither help nor cure this man from his ailments. I have serious concerns for his safety- and, perhaps for ours.

I have in my possession the joint cards and they have been frozen. THanks for the idea!

THe kids have no idea what is going on, but, I am getting so angry! I feel so betrayed! This man was mentally unhealthy for years, and, I babysat him through it all, and, have NEVER failed to be a good mom- even when I had to be up all night dealing with his issues (alcohol, suicide threats, paranoia), I am just FURIOUS!

The good news is this: we should be able to get an order in place by mid- August. It should be fairly simple. So, atleast I am only dealing with one - two months of no money.

Thanks for your suggestions. I have a notebook that I have been going down and just getting stuff in order. I stood in line at the DMV for a replacement title to a car that I can sell. It is mine and not worth a lot, but, enough to pay the mortgage for the month. I will be listing it on craigslist tonight.

Thanks again. The support here is so incredible.

May GOd bless each of you for caring about my children and I. It has meant the world to me.
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