I am so tired of all these collections for work (someone gets married, tranfers, retires, holidays, etc). I easily spent $100 - 150 on these things during this past school year. Now I have gotten two phone calls to collect for someone's death in the family and someone else who is transferring. We are on summer vacation so I thought I would have 10 weeks of no collections. I cannot afford this and frankly I don't see why we collect for transfers (they are going to have a job, sometimes in a better position - I guess I don't see the justification of it - retiring, babies, weddings, make more sense to me). Plus we all pay $30 each year to the Sushine committee. I compained at the end of the school year about having spent so much in collections this year and the person I complained to insinuated I am cheap. I worked at one job where they would pass an envelope around and if you chose to donate you signed the card and stuck in the cash, and if you didn't, no one cared - my personal favorite. Another job I worked at didn't do cash collections, but people would bring in a gift of their choosing if they felt like it. At this job we collect $ from the people on our "team" and each team gives their collected $.

Anyone else deal with this at work - or perhaps with your spouse's job? I need some nice ways to say I am not doing anything other than holiday collections. DS just had a major surgery last week and will be in recovery well into the next school year, so I figure I will have a very visible excuse - I am thinking of making an upfront speech to the "team" when we come back to school that due to medical bills I cannot afford to be tossing up $10 every other week. Any other creative suggestions of how not to offend everyone with my cheapness?

One suggestion is to maybe have a special spot in your wallet with a few fives, or a handful of ones, so that when they are collecting, if you DO want to give something, you can pretend to look through your purse and say "gee, all I can find is a few ones." Or if you don't want to donate, maybe say something like "I wish I could, but with my husbands surgury, we've spent every penny of our savings on expenses and I'm still not even sure I have enough for groceries this week. Hopfulyl things will get better in a few months, but until then I may have to just sign a card."

That is terrible that it forced giving. I have always had the envelope pass kind of thing. And usually people would throw in a couple of bucks, not $10!!!

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~Happiness is a large family~

Until recently I had an assignment at a preschool that did that. Most of these girls only made half as much as I did, a few more even less - how they could afford these collections was beyond me. After a while I claimed I only had $2 and thats all i would give them. If they have a "Sunshine Fund" why are they still taking up collections? I suggested that to the girls I worked with but they never did it.

Try telling them you already contributed to the sunshine fund, you really shouldn't have to explain or excuse yourself.

I know, me too! I have never seen this before in my life! And we have 60+ employees, most of whom I do not know or work with. So I am throwing in 5-10 bucks for people I don't even know, half the time. As for the Sunshine committee, they provide cake and sodas if there is a party (retirement, etc) but they only actually do that 3-4 times a year. NO WAY does it add up to what we are paying. I think administrative professionals day should come out of Sunshine, but we end up giving to the 7 secretaries on the day as a team. That really adds up. And there are a ton of other things we give for. Furthermore, the "collector" for the team sends around emails to everyone saying "Person X, Y, and Z: Please give me the $10 for whatever by friday." Basically breathing down our necks for it. That's partly why I feel I need to say something straight up before the year starts. I was really ticked off that I got hounded for $ on my vacation! And everyone knew my kid was having surgery, wouldn't they assume I wouldn't want to spend the extra cash? Sorry, this just really irked me!

I don't think that you should have to make excuses, just tell them that you won't be donating this time around. It's terrible that they are even putting you in this position. I know that once at work, they were collecting to get our HR manager a birthday gift (when they don't give any of us anything on our birthday..not even a phone call) and I just told them that I didn't have the funds this time. No one tried to pressure me into giving. I would bring it up to your team or office that there should be a limit to the gift giving. Maybe only do it during the holiday season and only doing a secret santa type thing because of the amount of money you spend each year on additional gifts. I think that money, if I have it, should go to my family...not to someone else who is capable of supporting themselves.

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Holy cow! I wouldn't like that one bit, either. At my old school, they passed envelopes around for staff to sign for various things. We were encouraged to put some money in, but not hassled about it. If I had money, I put some in. But, a lot of times, I just signed the card.

I would think saying something upfront would be the most professional thing. Something like, "I wanted to bring this up before feelings were hurt this year. Some of you are aware that we have some circumstances in my family that will be requiring a great deal of our extra money. Because of that, I am not able to give money for the various collections this year. However, I am willing to help with (whatever - like setting up, picking up a cake, ordering the flowers, etc.) if needed. Just let me know."

Then, stick to your guns. You might inspire other people who can't afford to give so much, either.

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If you need to get in touch with me, my email is teach1107910@yahoo.com.

If you can not give then you should not feel like you should have to. If you are not able to I would just tell them "I would really like too, but right now at this time I am unable to." Where I used to work the 5 ladies in my department we would each put in $10 for a gift card for someones birthday. There were times when someone had a family member die if we could we would pitch in for some food to send, but we were never forced to contribute. There has been plenty of times that I have only given a few dollars or none because that was all that I could do. They just have to understand or get over it.

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Mommy to Ariana 8/11/01 & Davis 4/11/05
I love my kiddos!

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If it is for someone you do not know flat out refuse using that reason. If you know the person offer them less money, don't apologize just tell them the truth - that collection plate comes around "X" amount of times per month at $10 a pop - I have donated "X" amount of dollars for this stuff - I'm just not able to compromise my budget any longer for this. If they give you a hard time or you feel you need to divulge the specifics of your financial situation then elaborate on the medical expenses. You shouldn't have to get a part time to job to keep up with demands to pay up at work!

I am probably not much help since you asked for "nice' ways to say no. I just say "no". I don't go to baby/wedding showers, or good-bye lunches or give money to any other kind of "collections". Some of those people I hardly know, some of them I am not too crazy about it. They are not my friends, just co-workers. It it's someone I am more friendly with, I'd take them to lunch or get them something. Otherwise, I am not in a business of hanging out cash to everyone.

On a separate note, I never hear men complaining about not being able to say "no". It must be us, women, who have this need to give, give, give.

Good luck!

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Lena