I think my DH is about to have the house melt down again. The boo hoo hoo I am such a F up why are we not in a $250,000 or $300,000+ home in the nicer side of town. The I hate our neighborhood guilt trip. We already have a $120,000 home that is 2000 sq ft home in a decent safe neighborhood. Yes he is a professional and many of our neighbors are lower working class but they are nice people and we have no problems. Next he will mope for about a week or 2...then grill me on finances (he racked up most of our debt when we were in our mid 20s)....then he will snap out of it.

Of course I knew it was coming his mom is on him about when are we going to move and he dragged me through an open house in a home we could not reasonably afford. I think this is his mom in him because she is never happy unless she has the best and just spends spends spends...his dad makes $75,000 from his retirement each year and still works another job making ($30,000 to $70,000) to support her needs.

Oh and then the I would send you back to work if it wasn't for the kids bit. I wish he would just accept our limitations and roll with it like I do...of course it does not help that my DD current BFs mom is the CEO of a company that made 1 Billion in profits last year..so he feels he is not good enough.

I tell him we can have all good things in time....that it is not reasonable to expect to own a $250,000+ home in your early 30s unless your doctor or something.

Here's hoping the melt down does not occur.

Jen

Woo. I hear you. You have my complete sympathy. I've no idea why my DH can't understand the same - that you can't expect to have it all at a young age! He's not even 30 and I hear at least once every other month the why can't he have several cars, and a fancier house, and the big screen plasma TV. long vacations, and etc, etc like everyone else does... I tell him not everyone else does have that stuff... if they do either 1. They are older or 2. They are in debt.

Part of me wonders if it's the midlife crisis thing starting early, or the influence in movies, and music. I mean, most movies show middle class families in houses that would easily cost $300,000 in this area. If not more. Everyone drives the latest cars, has the huge TVs, game systems, etc... it's just not realistic.

Sounds like your dh and my are brothers. My dh thinks he should have it all and we arent even thirty yet. I think he gets it from my dad, He wants to be just like my dad. I try to tell him that when he was our age he worked two jobs and didnt have any toys or vacations.

And yes I think tv has a lot to do with it. I see middle class families in homes that would be 300, to 400,000 in out area easy. We paid 217,000 for ours and that was cheap for our area. I dont see how the middle class can carry a morgage for more then that.

I know Once we pay off the student loans and the credit card bills we can move into a $300,000 home if he want too and not hurt at all. But one minute he wants to live in a larger condo so he will not have to lift a finger in a yard (guess who would be walking 3 large dogs and taking care of the kids) and the next minute he wants to live in a 3000 to 4000 sq ft home with a large yard and have a landscaper. This will not be a reality for 5-10 years since I am a SAHM.

I think he needs to realize that the only reason his parents have a 3000+ sq ft home is because they are in their mid 60s and in Ohio they can have that for $200,000 and it is on a golf course.

I can relate to your DH's feelings but have calmed down recnetly since seeing how much more fun it is to watch investments grow than wish for bigger and better things.

Perhaps remind him that once he gets the 300K house, there are always 600K houses and so on and so on. with our personalities, it never ends and you gotta get off the hamster wheel sometime.

Your mil sounds like a real treat

Hope he snaps out of it real soon.

Yippy for once he stayed out of the funk. I keep telling him even if we had the $$$ I would not want to move right now because the economy in our state is so bad right now. It is best for us to sit on our home and make that choice when the economy balances out a little. Of course his dumb dad thinks we should take advantage of the lower prices in some areas and just sell our house...I heard my DH tell him that was a bad idea because the areas where the prices have went down the most ($400,000 home now on market by bank for $220,000) is where the tax base is going to erode the most which means we would either be stuck with bad schools that are not funded or extra high taxes to meet the difference. My DH actually thought that through

The area where we live right now is one of the few areas where houses are priced right about where they should be and were really never inflated much. I also made it clear that I enjoy all the things that are available in our area and I do not want to live where have to drive our DD 30+ minutes just for activities.

Jen

The reason why his parents are the most against are area....black people. I am not kidding they actually think that because they saw some black youth playing basketball at a park by us and some black children walking through our neighborhood that we live in the hood and MIL just does not feel safe. Well atleast that keeps her from spending the night...she is convinced someone will break in and hurt her

God forbid we live in a communtiy that is 70% white, 5% other and 20-25% black. Geez I would love to see their expression if our DD brought out her black Barbie that she just had to have because she believes she is beautiful I am happy we are raising a color blind child that can appreciate people regardless of their race. She actually made a black mans day the other day by saying, " Excuse me mister I really like your hair " You should of seen the grin on his face.

Jen

This is a really good point... there's always going to be something better out there... when does it stop? Or do you spend your whole life chasing after bigger and better and wear yourself out?