Despite popular opinion in this country, I feel if I can't always be a stay at home mom, I'd rather work when they are young. As long as young kids are well cared for and can bond with their caretaker, they will be OK. I think, forced to choose, I would work and save to be a stay at home mom when they are in middle school and high school. I think that is the time when they need a parent at home to be in their business and to be their to listen and to help them navigate the stresses and pressures of adolescence. Too many kids are left to their own devices and wind up getting into trouble. They are still impulsive and their decision making skills can be too easily swayed by peer pressure. I think at these ages, they shouldn't be coming home to empty houses when possible. That's just my 2 cents.

I am in total agreement that if you can find a way to be a SAHM and that's where your heart is, you should do it. However, if it will compromise your financial well-being, it's better to put those plans on hold. I've seen couples rack up tens of thousands of debt over the course of the years simply by going over budget a hundred or two each month (see my blog on Financial Tipping Points).

What if you decided to work full time for one more year with the intent of quitting at the end of the year? In that time, you could sock away every last penny to have a cushion to live on for awhile, and you could also try to develop a side-business you could do in addition (or in lieu of) the daycare. Hopefully within that time your dh will also get a raise. One year can make a BIG difference. I do agree with the previous poster that it is equally important to be a SAHM in later years as well as when your kids are babies.

Here's another really useful thread: Advice for those wanting to become stay at home moms

Good luck!

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Have you thought about doing direct sales? I stay home and do part time daycare for one family. I've been doing direct sales for a year now and love it. I do a couple shows each month to make about $300. If I do more shows I make more money.

PM me if you would like to chat or email me at emcity30@frontiernet.net.

Where did you advertise childcare? An old friend of mine had very good luck advertising on Craigslist. Would you consider moving into a cheaper home? I know it's drastic but you could stay home if you lowered everything.

I'm not sure where you live, but in NY, teachers are required to have a master's degree. I know that online universities like University of Phoenix, are always looking for instructors. However, you need to have a master's degree.

Also, have you applied to online grading sites, like ETS? They hire teachers to grade tests like state exit exams and such. They prefer to hire teachers also. Hope that helps. Good luck!

Natalie

Let's review ...

You and hubby earn similar amounts. If you quit and took on a lesser form of income, your budget would fall short of about $200 a month (probably more). Before you give up on the idea of being a daycare provider, have your reviewed your tax situation?

By quitting your teaching position, you'll eliminate the tax burden of that income. You'll also have new business expenses that you can deduct, including a portion of your home. Is it possible to adjust your husband's withholding to make up the difference?

And as much as I try not to recommend this, can you also re-align your debts to improve your cash flow? For instance, I would consider re-financing my mortgage. If I currently had a 15-yr mortgage and could give myself lower monthly payments with a 30-yr, I would consider it if it meant I could stay at home with my child. Perhaps you can consolidate other debts, too, or work to quickly pay them off before your next paycheck runs out.

For the daycare business, look to your state with assistance in things like a lunch program or to get certified to take in cash-assistance children. You might also look into advertising in different areas that would yield special needs kids. If you took on even on special needs child, you could charge a higher price.

Lastly, I agree that becoming a SAHM does take some pre-planning. If you can't do it this year, I would do everything possible to arrange life so I could do it next year. Good luck!

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My heart is breaking for you. Have you eliminated all things not needed, like cable, your cell phone or at least decreasing your package, your home phone or decreasing your package, things like that? Could you sell a car and find an less expensive one? Have you tried cutting down on groceries? I am opening a daycare in a few weeks and had luck putting a free ad in the college faculty newsletter. I am also applying for the food program, which pays me to feed daycare kids. Here are some ways we have recently saved and made money:
*Went to limited basic cable (saved $40/mo)
*Decreased our cell phone package (saved $20/mo)
*Increased our car insurance deductible (saved $10/mo)
*Combined our car loans (saved $200/mo) although it will take us longer to pay off now
We got a new used van and combined it with our car loan which we had 2 years to pay on. We have a five year loan now, but can pay off earlier when we have extra money.
*Had a garage sale and made a little extra cash to put away (not much, but any helps)
*I consign clothing and usually make $20 a month doing that. There are other things you could sell on craigslist or ebay, etc.
*My husband is a teacher and finds extra things to do like coach and odd jobs and can make an extra $200-$1000 a month doing that.
*Mystery Shopping can make you a little extra money. There are websites that you can go to find these.
Can you find a weekend job to make a little extra? I would really try to find creative ways to get your name out about daycare. My neighbor babysits too and put an ad up at grocery stores in town and gets tons of calls.
Good luck!

I can't remember where I saw it but I think they were asking
for teacher's to help with Sullivan and you got to stay at home
to do it over the internet. Also Newlywed mentioned the paper
route thing I had a dear friend who did this and she made very
good money. She got up and did it and was back in time to see
her kids off to school. Hope this helps. And I hope it works out for
you.

I left a full time teaching position and became an independent study teacher at a charter school. I only had to be in the office 2 days a week and the rest of my work was done at home via the internet and phone. It was so flexible I was able to be at all of my kinders events and I only had my preschooler in daycare 2 days a week. We've paid off all the bills except the mortgage and now I'm a sahm. I'd talk to your principal and also look into other teaching options. Good luck!

Oh goodness, well here are my ideas for first, increasing your income-

Since you are a teacher with a degree- that opens up alot more opportunities. Do you have a Masters Degree? Have you ever considererd teaching online courses? Our community college teachers are mostly ajunct faculty that work from home.Some have other jobs, some don't but most major colleges have some sort of online course offering. I'd check it out. Also look into Private colleges like Univeristy of Phoenix online, ect. You don't have to be in the same state as this school to be an online course instructor.

Again since you are a teacher, perhaps you could , instead of having a daycare, have a "pre-K " or "Private Preschool" program. You of course wouldn't make as much as infants, but that's an option. Also to increase possible clients, you might consider offering overnight care, extended hours, or weekedns. ( shift workers love this)

again with the teaching, you could be a private tutor- I know I would love to find a math tutor for my kids. How about finding a job at a place like Sylvyn learning centers or Kumon- they tutor kids AFTER school hours- maybe you could get hired on in the evenings when your hubby is home?

As for becoming comfortable with being a working mom- only you can ever decide that. No one can tell you how - you either are, or you aren't. You might investigate options to keep your child closer to you as you are at work- our local high school has a preschool- ages 3 and up are welcome, and the teachers use it for all thier kids. Maybe you could find a school that also has a preschool in it so your child could at least be in the same building all day. Not as good as staying at home with him, but better than not seeing him all day. Maybe, with your degree, you could be a daycare/preschool director at a chain like Kindercare?

OR maybe you could find a new teaching position next door to the daycare he is in, or find a new daycare really close to you- that way you could go see him at lunch. This if course all depends on his age, If your child is an infant, many of these ideas could be difficult.

Good luck, update us. THis is a toughie!