Well I would have smacked her. Growing up my parents didn't have a lot of money but I remember we had a lot more fun that some of the families that did. Yeah they may have had a lot of designer things that we didn't but so what?

Your kids are not going without and you are providing a good family for them with a lot of love. That is what matters most.

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Proud mommy to adorable Kinsley

MY BLOG!

Her kids will probably never learn the importance of working for what you want with having everything handed to them. Your kids however will know how important it is to work for what they want and how to put things in order of importance.

Sometimes it is not about the money. We thought we were ready for kids finanially and then... I totaled my car 7 month pg, we got screwed over with taxes and needed new insulation for our home. Finacial readdyness can come and go in a blink of an eye. Now we have some debt and are on a tight budget so what are we doing?
Trying to concieve of course. To me I don't care and no one else should care that we are going to be really tight for cash. I want another baby and a sibbling for DD. I am not going to put it off because of money. As long as you can get by it shouldn't matter.
I hope your pregnancy goes wonderful. Don't let it bother you

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Kimberly Proud Mommy to Bethany Rose April 2006

I can't believe someone would have the nerve to say that to your face. It is none of her business.

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Austin
Mom to 3 beautiful girls

I can relate to your "friend", only in the aspect of wanting to make sure we were somewhat financially stable before having children. However, that was OUR choice, and no one else's. I had lots of friends wondering why we weren't having kids.

Ironically, due to several complications we we started to try were not able to carry, and spent tons of money trying to. Some of these procedures put us into debt. I strongly believe that because we started a little later, our efforts to have a biological child were hampered. Trying to be financially stable didn't help us at all.

As fate would have it, I've never been happier that we couldn't have a biological child, and firmly believe our son was heaven sent via adoption....that's another thread though!

ANYHOW......your friend was rude, seems shallow to me and also appears to have a messed up set of values. She is entitled to her opinion, but should think first before she speaks, and take others emotions in to consideration.

I'M THRILLED FOR YOU! Enjoy every bit of morning sickness, butterflies and kicks in your tummy and know inside that you are a good Mom.

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Children Learn What They Live, And Live What They Learn.
What have you taught your child today?
When life throws you a curve ball...it's up to you how you catch it!

you will never be where you want to be finacially. Make sure there is love in your home. She sounds like the type of woman who would spoil her children with material items, and forget what they need the most. . . their parents. If your children see you struggle with money that will help teach them that money doesn't grow on trees, and that what really matters is family and love. I'm sure your new baby will have everything it needs, including love and time from you. Do not feel sad. Yes you might live frugally, but thats ok. Most of us do. If she really cared about you she would have been happy for you since you are happy about the baby. She does not care about your feelings, only her opinions.

I totally agree w/ the last post. You're never gonna be ready financially to have another kid. I don't mean that in a bad way. What I mean is that the more we pull ourselves out of debt, the higher our expectations are for our finances. You can't wait until the perfect time to have kids. I noticed that the lady seems to be "well off" so how the h@$$ would she know about what it does to kids when their parents aren't financially "stable". She's sitting on her high horse looking down on everyone else's situation and you shouldn't listen to people like that. Money does not buy happiness. My mom always says, "If you want another baby, plant another row of potatoes." On another note, my dh grew up w/ his mom and sisters, no help from his dad and his mom cleaned houses for a living and he's a great husband, father, and provider. Your kids pick up on tension, not your bank acct. If you guys are happy and loving, the kids won't suffer. JMO

not to be nosie but i am new to this i noticed your debt free count down that is so awesome do you have any ideas to help a family of 5 who needs to get out of debt soon also thanks

How terrible. There is no such thing as bad timing for a baby, it happens when it should, and things always work out. As for her buying her kids new stuff all the time, it makes me think to myself how much better you are for going to the library. Sure, maybe a dvd skips now and again, but think of the money you are saving, and using for something better than a dvd that might get watched only once or twice. The important thing is that your kids never have a lack of time with you. Kids are going to remember that sort of thing more than they would if they had a new toy instead of one from a yard sale, or a new book instead of getting one at the library. Library users are richer in my mind, they've thousands of things at their fingertips to choose from, I'm sure that horrid woman doesn't.

My husband makes just a little less than that woman's husband. You can't live the life she is living on that amount of money. I guarantee she is in debt. To live that life, they are living 10-20 thousand a year over what he is currently making.

I was one of those women who waited. It was my choice and my husband's, but ultimately the choice was made for us. We got married at 21 and 23 right before our senior year of college. Our parents helped us financially (their choice) because they wanted us to finish college. My husband then went on right away to get a master's degree, then I got my teaching credential, then he went back to get another master's degree.

We didn't want to have a child while we were paying school bills and living on one income. However, even after we finished school, there just never seemed to be a "right" time. Then, at 30 I got pregnant by accident and miscarried. Next, at 31 1/2, I had surgery for endometriosis. Then, the doctor told me that if I ever wanted kids, I had to start NOW. I underwent taking fertility drugs and miscarried again. My third pregancy carried to term and I had a daughter. I had another surgery for endometriosis when my daughter was two. I miscarried again two more times and had six rounds of fertility drugs. I could get pregnant, but couldn't stay pregnant. I had a third surgery for endometriosis at 40.

I, at 42, have gone into early menopause. (I have gone through menopause in the last 3 months and am DONE at 42!!!) The doctor says that there is a connection between the fertility drugs and going into early menopause.

When you have children young, it interrupts any endometriosis you might have and breastfeeding also interrupts that. You are also less likely to need fertility drugs to get pregnant. Having children young has its health advantages as I have found out to my detriment.

People make choices in life and there are consequences for those choices. My husband and I don't have the energy in our 40's to play with our 9 year-old daughter the way people who have children in their 20's do. My husband and I were 35 and 33 when we had our daughter.

My husband is a pastor and we were missionaries to South Africa (our daughter was born there with the help of a first-world level fertility specialist). We were never getting our education for the money. We did want to wait for "stability."

I have lived almost a decade of my adult life in South Africa. If people waited until they were financially secure, almost no one in the world would have children. Lack of finances and financial problems can put stress on already shaky relationships, but for strong relationships, financial hardship can make couples pull together and be a team and actually further strengthen the relationship.

This is a long reply, but no one has the right to make you feel like you are less than they are for making different choices in life. There are consequences for having children young and there are consequences for having children older. (If you wait so long like I did, you may not be able to have all the children that you want or run into problems even having children.)

Due to virtually always living on one income and many years of paying school bills, I have always been frugal. I shop clearance sales, thrift stores, and shop sales at grocery stores and use coupons. I shop year round for Christmas presents, gifts and school supplies as I find good sales. We have a better life on my husband's income and I am a SAHM because I am careful with money management. Never be embarrassed about shopping in thrift stores or garage sales, that just makes financial common sense.

By the way, congratulations about your pregnancy. I hope this baby brings you and your husband much joy. A baby is something to be celebrated. Don't let the people who put the value of a human life into dollar terms steal the joy the news of your pregnancy should be giving you and your husband. I could only have one child because I waited so long. I am so happy for you. This baby is a blessing that no amount of money can buy.