I was talking to my neighbor yesterday that I haven't seen in a long time. I told her that I was pregnant and that we are very excited about it. Well she made a comment that we should've waited to have another baby when our debts are gone (okay she knew about our furniture and our van payment) then she went on about why some parents are having babies left and right and yet they are barely surviving themselves financially. She said that it was wrong to put the kids in that situation because they are innocent and they deserve a lot of good things from the parents. They don't need to be drag into the financial problem because parents ended up in divorce fighting about the money constantly. We should be financial stable to have kids. I knew she had a point but I couldn't help feeling bad on the inside because I feel like I'm a bad mother and that DH and I shouldn't be putting our son into this situation. We are not rich, rich but we are working our problems through it. DS was never hungry,cold, without shoes or toys to play with. This new baby already got a crib and stroller and some clothes but we could never be like other parents like her that buys DVD from the store and doesn't have to borrow from the library and watch the whole thing skips because there are too many scratches. She buys everything new for her kids and she's a little bit older too. She told me that she waited long to have kids because she wants to be "financially stable" and that we could've done the same thing. I was crying last night and I told DH about what she had said; he told me not to worry about her and that we are good parents and we are doing everything we can to provide for our son and this new one. But still I feel sad because I knew she was right.

It has nothing to do with her so it is none of her business.Don't let her make you feel bad.If we all waited until we were finacially set.I am 36 and would still not have kids!

Maybe she is jelous?Maybe she did want kids young and did not?

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*Wife to Rick since (94-13 years)*
~Mom to 2 boys Dakota 13 & Ryan 8~
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~Month~Budget~Spent~
February~400.00~380.35
March~400.00~419.65
April~400.00~395.94
May~400.00~391.53
June~375.00~373.13
July~375.00~365.62

Other people should keep their noses out of where it doesn't belong. From what I know of you, you're a wonderful mom (& Dad) who takes care of her son, and will do the same with the new baby. I would listen to your DH, and pay her no mind. Money doesn't provide everything. Your children DO have "a lot of good things from the parents" ~ the most important things ~ the things that can't be bought (Love, Acceptance, Patience, Wisdom, etc..) . She may be right about "some people" ~ but IMO you are not one of them.

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Shame on her for making you feel this way. To be honest? She sounds jealous - yes jealous. I would definitely avoid this woman and her scathing opinions in the future. I'm just aghast that anyone would speak to another person the way she did to you. I hope in your heart you know she is Wrong!! If we all waited for the perfect time to have children there would be no children. We all do the best we can!

Oh, sweetie. . . (((hugs))) Your neighbor had no right to say what she did to you. It was not only rude, but completely insensitive. Please don't let her get you down!!!

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If you need to get in touch with me, my email is teach1107910@yahoo.com.

Sadly, though my mother in law is the same thing. Because of her "experience" when DH was very little she wished that we could've waited to have kids. Financial reason of course and for us to have each other without the kids first. We are not doing bad financially but we would like to have some money in savings just in case something happens. She kind of look down on me sometimes when I tell her that I shop in Thrift Stores sometimes I feel embarass about telling her. She's probably thinking that I shop these stores because we don't have a lot of money to spend on clothes. Which is true and I'm not planning on spending hundreds of dollars on clothes either.I just feel scared sometimes to stand up because I don't want any conflict between us. She's a good person and all but I feel awkward when I'm their house.

I'm sorry she made you feel bad. If we had waited until we were financially secure I sill wouldn't have had any. I wouldn't trade my girls for the world. Am I bad mother because we have debt and kids----NO!. And neither are you!

This woman is in her early 40's she has two sons (5 and 2) and according to her she graduated in college with a degree in Accounting. Her husband is deployed right now making around $1999 to $2000 every two weeks (must be nice). She drives a nice brand new BMW. Her kids got everything (toys, brand name clothes, etc..) Her husband got a brand new truck which is already paid for with his deployment money. As of now since her husband is deployed she is a SAHM. She used to work in a nice job I don't exactly remember but as what she said she got a paid a lot working in the office. She has Louis Vitton, Prada, and Gucci as her purse.

I would be terribly upset as well! Me and DH would not have any kids right now if we were not financially stable! I would not let this bother you at all- I know it is hard but I think that we would honestly not have the world population that it is if that was the way to go!

Yes- not all of us waited to have kids til we were older and finacially stable- but our kids do not go without! Yes we may live frugally to make ends meet (or try to!)- but we don't get pulled into the culture of having a Louis Vuitton purse that you know the person over paid for! That makes me ill!

Sweetie, don't feel bad! If there is love in your home, not material possesions, than you've won that fight!!! Familes are for loving and nurturing and it sounds like you have that down!